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Prime minister's questions: the sound and the fury Prime minister's questions: the sound and the fury
(2 months later)
The Commons discussed party funding on Thursday. Here is my account: Mr Speaker: "The prime minister!"The Commons discussed party funding on Thursday. Here is my account: Mr Speaker: "The prime minister!"
Hon members: "Gurrgh hagg scree cranggg brung!"Hon members: "Gurrgh hagg scree cranggg brung!"
Mr Speaker: "Order. This is exceptionally discourteous."Mr Speaker: "Order. This is exceptionally discourteous."
Hon members: "Strungth skeep arsepiopper baba-au-rhum. Resign!"Hon members: "Strungth skeep arsepiopper baba-au-rhum. Resign!"
Mr Miliband: "… how much his party has received from hedge funds?"Mr Miliband: "… how much his party has received from hedge funds?"
The prime minister: "I am not surprised ..."The prime minister: "I am not surprised ..."
Hon members: "Chomp prannet whoops screech bhajee!"Hon members: "Chomp prannet whoops screech bhajee!"
Mr Speaker: "The prime minister will answer and we will hear him do so!"Mr Speaker: "The prime minister will answer and we will hear him do so!"
The prime minister: "... addresses the 40 seats that Unite has so far fiddled!"The prime minister: "... addresses the 40 seats that Unite has so far fiddled!"
Hon members: "Tramsolder! Farnsbarns! Splurge! Tarka dal!"Hon members: "Tramsolder! Farnsbarns! Splurge! Tarka dal!"
Mr Speaker: "Please, let us have a bit of order and some answers!"Mr Speaker: "Please, let us have a bit of order and some answers!"
Mr Miliband: "I do not think the prime minister wanted to answer the question. The answer is £25 million …"Mr Miliband: "I do not think the prime minister wanted to answer the question. The answer is £25 million …"
Hon members: "Scrummble brummble kneecap strumpet voluntary."Hon members: "Scrummble brummble kneecap strumpet voluntary."
The prime minister: "… Unite paid their money, they bought their votes, they put him in his place!"The prime minister: "… Unite paid their money, they bought their votes, they put him in his place!"
Hon members: (by now in danger of a coronary incident) "Skat. Sheeshkebab. Strangford Loch. Vindaloo!"Hon members: (by now in danger of a coronary incident) "Skat. Sheeshkebab. Strangford Loch. Vindaloo!"
Mr Miliband: "… a party funded by a few millionaires at the top!"Mr Miliband: "… a party funded by a few millionaires at the top!"
Mr Michael Ellis: (Con, Northampton N) "Stang furbelow brisket whatsapp!"Mr Michael Ellis: (Con, Northampton N) "Stang furbelow brisket whatsapp!"
Mr Speaker: Mr Ellis, you find it so difficult to control yourself. Calm it, man! Get a grip of the situation!"Mr Speaker: Mr Ellis, you find it so difficult to control yourself. Calm it, man! Get a grip of the situation!"
Mr Miliband "... fundamental reform in the way our parties are funded."Mr Miliband "... fundamental reform in the way our parties are funded."
The prime minister: "Let me deal ..."The prime minister: "Let me deal ..."
Hon members: "Burrrp kookaburra krupp mini-dosa speculum."Hon members: "Burrrp kookaburra krupp mini-dosa speculum."
Mr Speaker: "Order. We have got to listen to hear."Mr Speaker: "Order. We have got to listen to hear."
The prime minister "... Let me say this. There is a ..."The prime minister "... Let me say this. There is a ..."
Hon members: "Ribbit ribbit. Ontology wossick whapsocket. Resign."Hon members: "Ribbit ribbit. Ontology wossick whapsocket. Resign."
Mr Speaker: "There is far too much shouting!"Mr Speaker: "There is far too much shouting!"
The prime minister: "The result of a trade union scandal should not be every taxpayer paying for Labour."The prime minister: "The result of a trade union scandal should not be every taxpayer paying for Labour."
Mr Miliband: "So there we have it ..."Mr Miliband: "So there we have it ..."
Hon members "Frink hazchem Mumsnet echidna."Hon members "Frink hazchem Mumsnet echidna."
Mr Speaker: "Order!"Mr Speaker: "Order!"
Mr Miliband: "So the prime minister is ducking electoral reform!"Mr Miliband: "So the prime minister is ducking electoral reform!"
The prime minister: "The right honourable gentleman should make me an offer ..."The prime minister: "The right honourable gentleman should make me an offer ..."
Hon members: "Piperade quantum dholakia scram spongist!"Hon members: "Piperade quantum dholakia scram spongist!"
Mr Speaker: "The question must be heard!"Mr Speaker: "The question must be heard!"
Mr Miliband: "I am proud we have links with ordinary people. He is bankrolled by a few millionaires. The party of people. The party of privilege."Mr Miliband: "I am proud we have links with ordinary people. He is bankrolled by a few millionaires. The party of people. The party of privilege."
Mr Speaker: "We cannot just have a wall of noise."Mr Speaker: "We cannot just have a wall of noise."
But that's what he got. There was a great deal more said in the session, but sadly I could not hear it against the wall of noise.But that's what he got. There was a great deal more said in the session, but sadly I could not hear it against the wall of noise.
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