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| Version 0 | Version 1 |
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| The test: how cynical are you? | The test: how cynical are you? |
| (2 months later) | |
| There are many ways to express one's cynicism – Diogenes the Cynic, for example, slept in a jar – but the true cynic knows he must be more cynical than anyone else, surprised by nothing but the boundless naivety of those around him. Use this handy checklist to see if you qualify: if you agree with seven or more of the following statements you may count yourself a super-cynic. Not that it means anything. I mean, who cares, right? We're all gonna die alone. | There are many ways to express one's cynicism – Diogenes the Cynic, for example, slept in a jar – but the true cynic knows he must be more cynical than anyone else, surprised by nothing but the boundless naivety of those around him. Use this handy checklist to see if you qualify: if you agree with seven or more of the following statements you may count yourself a super-cynic. Not that it means anything. I mean, who cares, right? We're all gonna die alone. |
| 1 You believe that mankind has failed to achieve anything of interest or note since the moon landings were faked. | 1 You believe that mankind has failed to achieve anything of interest or note since the moon landings were faked. |
| 2 You can look upon the grinning face of George Osborne and still declare that all politicians are as bad as each other. | 2 You can look upon the grinning face of George Osborne and still declare that all politicians are as bad as each other. |
| 3 You feel the current cultural debate is missing nothing other than the widespread dissemination of your low opinion of Channel 4's output. | 3 You feel the current cultural debate is missing nothing other than the widespread dissemination of your low opinion of Channel 4's output. |
| 4 You remain convinced that they just throw all the recycling away at the other end. | 4 You remain convinced that they just throw all the recycling away at the other end. |
| 5 You believe that the editor of the Daily Mail has a dangerously rose-tinted view of human nature. | 5 You believe that the editor of the Daily Mail has a dangerously rose-tinted view of human nature. |
| 6 You have a "tendency" to put "inverted commas" "around" "everything". | 6 You have a "tendency" to put "inverted commas" "around" "everything". |
| 7 It is your firm conviction that professional wrestling is completely staged, with the outcome of every match determined beforehand, just like professional cricket and professional tennis. | 7 It is your firm conviction that professional wrestling is completely staged, with the outcome of every match determined beforehand, just like professional cricket and professional tennis. |
| 8 You think your dog is only in it for the food. | 8 You think your dog is only in it for the food. |
| 9 You used to vote Tory out of naked self-interest, but it didn't work so now you don't vote. | 9 You used to vote Tory out of naked self-interest, but it didn't work so now you don't vote. |
| 10 You stopped watching the Olympics because you could no longer stand the sight of the ambitious, self-obsessed, back-stabbing Clare Balding. | 10 You stopped watching the Olympics because you could no longer stand the sight of the ambitious, self-obsessed, back-stabbing Clare Balding. |
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