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General Synod brings out the worst in the Church of England – and in me General Synod brings out the worst in the Church of England – and in me
(2 months later)
Dante's vision of hell was colourful, of course. But for the real deal, look no further than the General Synod of the Church of England. I sat on the thing for several years – though I never said a word in debate. There didn't seem any point. Nobody ever changes their mind.Dante's vision of hell was colourful, of course. But for the real deal, look no further than the General Synod of the Church of England. I sat on the thing for several years – though I never said a word in debate. There didn't seem any point. Nobody ever changes their mind.
Picture the scene. The summer meeting at the University of York is focused on a large modernist theatre surrounded by a lake. The lake is full of geese who cover the whole place in distinctive pellets of poo. The theatre is often baking hot, encouraging the gathered Anglicans to dress informally, which is often an excuse for shorts, milky white legs and sandals. Body odour can be a bit of an issue too. Lots of people don't really like each other, but, being Christians, have to pretend that they do. It is a golden rule that when two or three Anglicans gather together, there is an extravagant display of competitive niceness. I pity the poor dinner ladies, drowned in bad jokes and unfeasible compliments. I always try to be a little bit grumpy and indifferent, hoping it comes as some small relief. Then (being an Anglican myself) I feel guilty about it.Picture the scene. The summer meeting at the University of York is focused on a large modernist theatre surrounded by a lake. The lake is full of geese who cover the whole place in distinctive pellets of poo. The theatre is often baking hot, encouraging the gathered Anglicans to dress informally, which is often an excuse for shorts, milky white legs and sandals. Body odour can be a bit of an issue too. Lots of people don't really like each other, but, being Christians, have to pretend that they do. It is a golden rule that when two or three Anglicans gather together, there is an extravagant display of competitive niceness. I pity the poor dinner ladies, drowned in bad jokes and unfeasible compliments. I always try to be a little bit grumpy and indifferent, hoping it comes as some small relief. Then (being an Anglican myself) I feel guilty about it.
Then there is all the code language. You have to use the word "mission" a lot (a word so general it has come to be all but meaningless) and talk about "fellowship" happening in the bar, which is the Christian word for friendship, which mostly consists of gossip and gentle bitching about the opposition. For recreation, the Anglo-Catholics giggle about their frocks. Liberals plot global revolution through inclusive language. And the evangelicals have half a shandy before an early night.Then there is all the code language. You have to use the word "mission" a lot (a word so general it has come to be all but meaningless) and talk about "fellowship" happening in the bar, which is the Christian word for friendship, which mostly consists of gossip and gentle bitching about the opposition. For recreation, the Anglo-Catholics giggle about their frocks. Liberals plot global revolution through inclusive language. And the evangelicals have half a shandy before an early night.
The synod is split into three so-called "houses": bishops, clergy and laity. Its often the case that the bishops try and hold the line, the priests try and drive it forward a little and the laity try to return things to the golden age of the 1950s. It is significant, for instance, that the women bishops' motion was derailed last November in the house of laity, but was passed in the houses of bishops and clergy.The synod is split into three so-called "houses": bishops, clergy and laity. Its often the case that the bishops try and hold the line, the priests try and drive it forward a little and the laity try to return things to the golden age of the 1950s. It is significant, for instance, that the women bishops' motion was derailed last November in the house of laity, but was passed in the houses of bishops and clergy.
The bishops all sit together, though most of them quite clearly don't want to be there, rightly resentful that a purple shirt does not invest them with the sort of executive authority that the outside world generally presumes they have. A vicar is a little pope in his parish. The bishops, on the other hand, are answerable to all (poor blighters). That is why they are rarely the go-to people for any interesting comment – unless they are retired, of course, when the truth comes tumbling out. Yes, a few go rogue, but most are strung up by the need to articulate a consensus position.The bishops all sit together, though most of them quite clearly don't want to be there, rightly resentful that a purple shirt does not invest them with the sort of executive authority that the outside world generally presumes they have. A vicar is a little pope in his parish. The bishops, on the other hand, are answerable to all (poor blighters). That is why they are rarely the go-to people for any interesting comment – unless they are retired, of course, when the truth comes tumbling out. Yes, a few go rogue, but most are strung up by the need to articulate a consensus position.
Round and round we go. Endlessly trying to keep everyone on board and yet also trying to follow the man who said that he came not to bring peace but to bring a sword and set "a man against his father, a daughter against her mother" (Matthew 10, 34-35). It is true that religion is often the source of conflict and violence in the world. It is to the credit of the Church of England that no one could ever be reasonably afraid of it. In reaction against its own violent past, emerging from the religious conflict of the 16th and 17th centuries, it has styled itself as a church of conflict avoidance and reconciliation. Except that it cannot reconcile even itself and, in its panic about words of fire between consenting adults, it prefers a gentle game of let's pretend, keeping everybody frustrated and pushing all the aggro into the bar. General Synod brings out the worst in the Church of England. And, as you can see from this article, it brings out the worst in me.Round and round we go. Endlessly trying to keep everyone on board and yet also trying to follow the man who said that he came not to bring peace but to bring a sword and set "a man against his father, a daughter against her mother" (Matthew 10, 34-35). It is true that religion is often the source of conflict and violence in the world. It is to the credit of the Church of England that no one could ever be reasonably afraid of it. In reaction against its own violent past, emerging from the religious conflict of the 16th and 17th centuries, it has styled itself as a church of conflict avoidance and reconciliation. Except that it cannot reconcile even itself and, in its panic about words of fire between consenting adults, it prefers a gentle game of let's pretend, keeping everybody frustrated and pushing all the aggro into the bar. General Synod brings out the worst in the Church of England. And, as you can see from this article, it brings out the worst in me.
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