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You can find the current article at its original source at http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jun/25/jeremy-forrest-no-romeo-pervert
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| Jeremy Forrest is no Romeo, but neither is he a 'pervert' | Jeremy Forrest is no Romeo, but neither is he a 'pervert' |
| (3 months later) | |
| This is not a love story. There is nothing to celebrate about it and the NSPCC is right to criticise how some parts of the media have covered the Jeremy Forrest case, casting a Romeo and Juliet-like glow around the story of a teacher having a sexual relationship with an underage pupil. Headlines in papers such as the Sun ("I Still Love Him") and the Daily Mail ("I'll Marry Schoolgirl") have prompted the NSPCC to protest that the media are feeding Forrest's and very likely the schoolgirl's fantasies that they are living some kind of romantic dream. | This is not a love story. There is nothing to celebrate about it and the NSPCC is right to criticise how some parts of the media have covered the Jeremy Forrest case, casting a Romeo and Juliet-like glow around the story of a teacher having a sexual relationship with an underage pupil. Headlines in papers such as the Sun ("I Still Love Him") and the Daily Mail ("I'll Marry Schoolgirl") have prompted the NSPCC to protest that the media are feeding Forrest's and very likely the schoolgirl's fantasies that they are living some kind of romantic dream. |
| But to describe this sordid tale in the same terms used to discuss cases such as Jimmy Savile and Stuart Hall is not helpful either, both in terms of understanding this case or preventing others like it. It is relevant to note that this case has unfolded in the shadow of Savile, when the country's awareness and guilt about paedophilia is at a height even beyond that imagined by Chris Morris in his notorious Paedogeddon episode of Brass Eye. Savile molested and raped possibly hundreds of people, creeping along the corridors of hospitals looking for children to assault. Hall, who was given the indefensibly short sentence of 15 months, assaulted more than a dozen girls and women, one of whom was nine years old. | But to describe this sordid tale in the same terms used to discuss cases such as Jimmy Savile and Stuart Hall is not helpful either, both in terms of understanding this case or preventing others like it. It is relevant to note that this case has unfolded in the shadow of Savile, when the country's awareness and guilt about paedophilia is at a height even beyond that imagined by Chris Morris in his notorious Paedogeddon episode of Brass Eye. Savile molested and raped possibly hundreds of people, creeping along the corridors of hospitals looking for children to assault. Hall, who was given the indefensibly short sentence of 15 months, assaulted more than a dozen girls and women, one of whom was nine years old. |
| To describe the Forrest case in the same terms as those distorts the view of what's really going on here and what's really at stake. Forrest absolutely should have been sent to prison and he absolutely mustn't be allowed to work with children again. But to dismiss him as a "pervert" who "abducted" a child is to misunderstand how these abuses of power occasionally happen, and how to prevent them in the future. | To describe the Forrest case in the same terms as those distorts the view of what's really going on here and what's really at stake. Forrest absolutely should have been sent to prison and he absolutely mustn't be allowed to work with children again. But to dismiss him as a "pervert" who "abducted" a child is to misunderstand how these abuses of power occasionally happen, and how to prevent them in the future. |
| Forrest's family have described him as "immature", and certainly his behaviour bears that out. With his cringeworthy invitations to come and hear his band and mobile phone photos of his naked torso flaunting his tattoo, he comes across like Jez from Peep Show, or Jason Bateman's character in Juno who also makes an inappropriate move on a teenage girl and rejects his wife. The picture of Forrest that has emerged over the past months is of an emotionally immature, selfish and foolish man who couldn't cope with the adult responsibilities of marriage and sought out a young girl with approximately the same level of maturity as him. That he couldn't wait one year to sleep with her, at which point it would have been legal, proves what a ridiculous man-child he is [see footnote]. He wasn't thinking about his love for her, or of whatever relationship he imagined the two of them having. He was entirely caught up in the romanticised dream he had of himself in his head. | Forrest's family have described him as "immature", and certainly his behaviour bears that out. With his cringeworthy invitations to come and hear his band and mobile phone photos of his naked torso flaunting his tattoo, he comes across like Jez from Peep Show, or Jason Bateman's character in Juno who also makes an inappropriate move on a teenage girl and rejects his wife. The picture of Forrest that has emerged over the past months is of an emotionally immature, selfish and foolish man who couldn't cope with the adult responsibilities of marriage and sought out a young girl with approximately the same level of maturity as him. That he couldn't wait one year to sleep with her, at which point it would have been legal, proves what a ridiculous man-child he is [see footnote]. He wasn't thinking about his love for her, or of whatever relationship he imagined the two of them having. He was entirely caught up in the romanticised dream he had of himself in his head. |
| Whether the girl feels later in adulthood that he abused her, only time will tell. Writing on this paper's website on Monday, Bernadette Rooney (not her real name) wrote about a relationship she had with a teacher when she was 16 and he was 27. As an adult now, she can look back and say: "I was not a child who was damaged by an abusive relationship with a paedophile. I was an intelligent young woman who knew what I was doing and I don't regret a thing." | Whether the girl feels later in adulthood that he abused her, only time will tell. Writing on this paper's website on Monday, Bernadette Rooney (not her real name) wrote about a relationship she had with a teacher when she was 16 and he was 27. As an adult now, she can look back and say: "I was not a child who was damaged by an abusive relationship with a paedophile. I was an intelligent young woman who knew what I was doing and I don't regret a thing." |
| I don't know a single woman who doesn't have a story from her school days about a male teacher who was just that little bit too flirtatious and who may have even had a relationship with a student. I have one friend from a girls' public school where a teacher and a classsmate started a long-term relationship, although at least he had the good sense to wait until the student left school. Another friend remembers a maths teacher starting a relationship with one girl when she had just turned 16. They are still together, 15 years on. | I don't know a single woman who doesn't have a story from her school days about a male teacher who was just that little bit too flirtatious and who may have even had a relationship with a student. I have one friend from a girls' public school where a teacher and a classsmate started a long-term relationship, although at least he had the good sense to wait until the student left school. Another friend remembers a maths teacher starting a relationship with one girl when she had just turned 16. They are still together, 15 years on. |
| Similarly, when I was in hospital as a teenager, my first psychiatrist specialised in eating disorders, meaning this middle-aged man spent much of his working life around desperate and often young women. Even though I was just 14, I could tell how much he revelled in the adulation and dependency of his patients, and it repelled me. I soon switched doctors – to a woman doctor, as it happens – with much happier results. Years later, he was struck off for having a "blurred and secretive" relationship with a patient – who was 66, incidentally – which led to him prescribing inappropriate doses of sedatives, accepting enormous cash gifts from her and sending her notes signed "love, P[eter]". | Similarly, when I was in hospital as a teenager, my first psychiatrist specialised in eating disorders, meaning this middle-aged man spent much of his working life around desperate and often young women. Even though I was just 14, I could tell how much he revelled in the adulation and dependency of his patients, and it repelled me. I soon switched doctors – to a woman doctor, as it happens – with much happier results. Years later, he was struck off for having a "blurred and secretive" relationship with a patient – who was 66, incidentally – which led to him prescribing inappropriate doses of sedatives, accepting enormous cash gifts from her and sending her notes signed "love, P[eter]". |
| In Zoe Heller's brilliant novel Notes on a Scandal, about a female teacher's affair with a 15-year-old male student, the teacher, Sheba, thinks: "The remorseless vulgarity of the press coverage has made her defensively high-minded. She wants it to be known that she and Connolly were not merely engaged in 'illicit romps'. They were in love." | In Zoe Heller's brilliant novel Notes on a Scandal, about a female teacher's affair with a 15-year-old male student, the teacher, Sheba, thinks: "The remorseless vulgarity of the press coverage has made her defensively high-minded. She wants it to be known that she and Connolly were not merely engaged in 'illicit romps'. They were in love." |
| Language is important. Just as describing Forrest's tale as a love story is unhelpful, so is dismissing it as yet another Savile-esque shame. Both takes are extreme and possibly only harden his and the schoolgirl's resolve to be with one another in the face of incomprehension. This was an abuse of power, and I'd be willing to bet that similar versions happen more often than we know, in situations where men – some of whom will be weak and immature – work with emotionally vulnerable woman. Dismissing Forrest as an aberration and a monster is easy; acknowledging just how common he might be is far scarier. | Language is important. Just as describing Forrest's tale as a love story is unhelpful, so is dismissing it as yet another Savile-esque shame. Both takes are extreme and possibly only harden his and the schoolgirl's resolve to be with one another in the face of incomprehension. This was an abuse of power, and I'd be willing to bet that similar versions happen more often than we know, in situations where men – some of whom will be weak and immature – work with emotionally vulnerable woman. Dismissing Forrest as an aberration and a monster is easy; acknowledging just how common he might be is far scarier. |
| • This footnote was added on 26 June 2013. The article says that if Forrest had waited one year "it would have been legal" to sleep with the 15 year-old pupil. In the wider population 16 is the age of consent. However, the law has changed, it is now illegal for adults in a position of trust – in this case her teacher – to have a sexual relationship with anyone in their care below the age of 18 under the 2003 Sexual Offences Act. | • This footnote was added on 26 June 2013. The article says that if Forrest had waited one year "it would have been legal" to sleep with the 15 year-old pupil. In the wider population 16 is the age of consent. However, the law has changed, it is now illegal for adults in a position of trust – in this case her teacher – to have a sexual relationship with anyone in their care below the age of 18 under the 2003 Sexual Offences Act. |
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