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Clare Balding row: this lesbian's not for turning | Clare Balding row: this lesbian's not for turning |
(4 months later) | |
It was with a sense of deja vu that I read about Colin Murray challenging Bob Mills on the all-male panel of BBC Radio 5 Live show Fighting Talk to come up with a strategy for turning presenter Clare Balding from lesbian to straight. | It was with a sense of deja vu that I read about Colin Murray challenging Bob Mills on the all-male panel of BBC Radio 5 Live show Fighting Talk to come up with a strategy for turning presenter Clare Balding from lesbian to straight. |
If I were to count the number of times I have been told by a man that all I need is "a good seeing to" to turn me straight I would be dizzy. It is often said in response to me coming out as a lesbian, which I feel compelled to do with monotonous regularity, given that I sometimes take taxis, speak to strangers at bus stops and speak at public debates about sexuality. | If I were to count the number of times I have been told by a man that all I need is "a good seeing to" to turn me straight I would be dizzy. It is often said in response to me coming out as a lesbian, which I feel compelled to do with monotonous regularity, given that I sometimes take taxis, speak to strangers at bus stops and speak at public debates about sexuality. |
But more often I am told I need a decent shagging because I am that bit too feminist for a lot of men. If I challenge sexist behaviour, sexual violence, or, heaven forbid, suggest that men could do with keeping it zipped about how women should look, dress and behave, I often get the response that I am not a proper woman. | But more often I am told I need a decent shagging because I am that bit too feminist for a lot of men. If I challenge sexist behaviour, sexual violence, or, heaven forbid, suggest that men could do with keeping it zipped about how women should look, dress and behave, I often get the response that I am not a proper woman. |
Lesbianism is a significant threat to men. After all, we are rejecting them sexually and, more importantly, making it clear we do not need to be desired by or betrothed to a man in order to have an identity. Clare Balding needs to be put in her place, according to the sexists, because she has no right to be a successful professional, a well-loved public figure and an out-and-proud lezzer. | Lesbianism is a significant threat to men. After all, we are rejecting them sexually and, more importantly, making it clear we do not need to be desired by or betrothed to a man in order to have an identity. Clare Balding needs to be put in her place, according to the sexists, because she has no right to be a successful professional, a well-loved public figure and an out-and-proud lezzer. |
As far as any decent man is concerned, I am now past the age of shaggability, leading some dinosaurs to comment instead that I am "too ugly to rape". This happened to me once when I had been spotted immediately after appearing on TV arguing that forcing women to have sex is not decent behaviour. (Embarrassingly, a woman who overheard was so flabbergasted that all she could think to say by way of consolation was that I was, indeed, attractive enough to rape – it was all a terrible mess.) | As far as any decent man is concerned, I am now past the age of shaggability, leading some dinosaurs to comment instead that I am "too ugly to rape". This happened to me once when I had been spotted immediately after appearing on TV arguing that forcing women to have sex is not decent behaviour. (Embarrassingly, a woman who overheard was so flabbergasted that all she could think to say by way of consolation was that I was, indeed, attractive enough to rape – it was all a terrible mess.) |
The treatment of Balding's sexuality comes straight out of misogyny, of which anti-lesbianism is a part. All women are negatively affected by men's hostility to lesbianism as it is, as I have argued here before, a tactic to keep us in our place and to make us feel the need for male approval. If anyone is in any doubt that the discussion of Balding was rooted in sexism, remember that it was also suggested on the programme that she should be made to present racing coverage topless, and Mills joked that Balding was a "horse woman" who "appreciates power between her thighs". Please! | The treatment of Balding's sexuality comes straight out of misogyny, of which anti-lesbianism is a part. All women are negatively affected by men's hostility to lesbianism as it is, as I have argued here before, a tactic to keep us in our place and to make us feel the need for male approval. If anyone is in any doubt that the discussion of Balding was rooted in sexism, remember that it was also suggested on the programme that she should be made to present racing coverage topless, and Mills joked that Balding was a "horse woman" who "appreciates power between her thighs". Please! |
Men of the sexist variety can recoil in horror at being told that some women actively choose lesbianism over heterosexuality because it is altogether preferable. Being unable to get their heads around how anyone would have sex without a penis being present, they ask who does what in bed and how. These men know full well what lesbianism has to offer women, but still need to keep up the charade that any time they want they could get us back in line. So long as we are doing perfectly fine, if not a damn sight better without them, we will continue to hear the croaky, faltering battle cry from the old patriarchs. What they need is a bloody good lesson in keeping their opinions to themselves. | Men of the sexist variety can recoil in horror at being told that some women actively choose lesbianism over heterosexuality because it is altogether preferable. Being unable to get their heads around how anyone would have sex without a penis being present, they ask who does what in bed and how. These men know full well what lesbianism has to offer women, but still need to keep up the charade that any time they want they could get us back in line. So long as we are doing perfectly fine, if not a damn sight better without them, we will continue to hear the croaky, faltering battle cry from the old patriarchs. What they need is a bloody good lesson in keeping their opinions to themselves. |
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