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Major Tim Peake stole my space age daydream Major Tim Peake stole my space age daydream
(4 months later)
It's so unfair. Rather like a talentless X-Factor inmate, I still don't properly understand why I am not being sent into space but someone called Major Tim Peake is. OK, he may have graduated from the European Space Agency, be fit, smart, capable and able to drive a helicopter but has he really been freaking out in a moonage dream for years? I very much doubt it.It's so unfair. Rather like a talentless X-Factor inmate, I still don't properly understand why I am not being sent into space but someone called Major Tim Peake is. OK, he may have graduated from the European Space Agency, be fit, smart, capable and able to drive a helicopter but has he really been freaking out in a moonage dream for years? I very much doubt it.
The first Brit in space was the privately funded Helen Sharman, the chemist who flew to the Mir space station on a Russian Soyuz craft in 1991.The first Brit in space was the privately funded Helen Sharman, the chemist who flew to the Mir space station on a Russian Soyuz craft in 1991.
She, like Peake, was eminently qualified, sensible, scientific and trained up but I bet they had not left school at 16 and when asked by the headmistress, "What, girl, do you think you are going to do with your life?," replied nonchalantly, "Probably be an astronaut, Miss". And neither of them could, I bet, rival the scrapbook I made during the moon landings. In my free time. Obsession doesn't cover it. I lived it and was extremely worried about the "moon germs", the quarantine and everything. In my 11-year-old handwriting after Neil Armstrong's great leap speech I wrote "that, that was greatest moment in the history of man, that the world has ever known". I meant it. And, as you know, I have been given to understatement ever since.She, like Peake, was eminently qualified, sensible, scientific and trained up but I bet they had not left school at 16 and when asked by the headmistress, "What, girl, do you think you are going to do with your life?," replied nonchalantly, "Probably be an astronaut, Miss". And neither of them could, I bet, rival the scrapbook I made during the moon landings. In my free time. Obsession doesn't cover it. I lived it and was extremely worried about the "moon germs", the quarantine and everything. In my 11-year-old handwriting after Neil Armstrong's great leap speech I wrote "that, that was greatest moment in the history of man, that the world has ever known". I meant it. And, as you know, I have been given to understatement ever since.
Why was I so compelled by space? Well, I lived in Ipswich and my family treated me like an alien anyway. I did not belong there, but to the stars above. You could say I was a space cadet, any amateur shrink would connect the vastness of outer space with the claustrophobia of a dysfunctional childhood. It's not that easy. Space is exciting and sexy. And if you can't see that, then don't look up, curtail your imagination. Stay earthbound.Why was I so compelled by space? Well, I lived in Ipswich and my family treated me like an alien anyway. I did not belong there, but to the stars above. You could say I was a space cadet, any amateur shrink would connect the vastness of outer space with the claustrophobia of a dysfunctional childhood. It's not that easy. Space is exciting and sexy. And if you can't see that, then don't look up, curtail your imagination. Stay earthbound.
Sure, the money could be spent on other more important things and it is difficult to understand the one-way mission to Mars that almost 80,000 people have signed up for as little more than long-haul Dignitas. The militarisation and the petty nationalism do somewhat sour the exploration of the universe but they cannot dull its shine. The light of long dead stars guides our fantasies still and mine is a fantasy.Sure, the money could be spent on other more important things and it is difficult to understand the one-way mission to Mars that almost 80,000 people have signed up for as little more than long-haul Dignitas. The militarisation and the petty nationalism do somewhat sour the exploration of the universe but they cannot dull its shine. The light of long dead stars guides our fantasies still and mine is a fantasy.
The reality is I hate flying. I also don't want to be an inch away from death all the time but as Sun Ra said Space is the Place. Indeed my one useful function would be choosing what to sing. Commander Chris Hadfield has set the bar high by singing David Bowie's Space Oddity from the International Space Station, but I can help Major Peake with a suggestion. For Britain, Mambo Sun by T.Rex, for America, the B52s' There Is a Moon in the Sky (called the Moon).The reality is I hate flying. I also don't want to be an inch away from death all the time but as Sun Ra said Space is the Place. Indeed my one useful function would be choosing what to sing. Commander Chris Hadfield has set the bar high by singing David Bowie's Space Oddity from the International Space Station, but I can help Major Peake with a suggestion. For Britain, Mambo Sun by T.Rex, for America, the B52s' There Is a Moon in the Sky (called the Moon).
See, I could've been a contender. I could float about, eating pills and dried spinach, tweeting and singing:See, I could've been a contender. I could float about, eating pills and dried spinach, tweeting and singing:
"Satellite's gone up to the skies / Things like that drive me out of my mind / I watched it for a little while / I love to watch things on TV (Mm-mm-mm-mm)"Satellite's gone up to the skies / Things like that drive me out of my mind / I watched it for a little while / I love to watch things on TV (Mm-mm-mm-mm)
(Bum, bum, bum) / Satellite of love / (Bum, bum, bum) / Satellite of love / (Bum, bum, bum) / Satellite of love / Satellite of love."(Bum, bum, bum) / Satellite of love / (Bum, bum, bum) / Satellite of love / (Bum, bum, bum) / Satellite of love / Satellite of love."
Instead, I will just to have to do it here on Earth. Bum, bum, bum.Instead, I will just to have to do it here on Earth. Bum, bum, bum.
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