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Bob Dylan 'unworthy' of the Légion d'honneur? It's time for a protest song Bob Dylan 'unworthy' of the Légion d'honneur? It's time for a protest song
(4 months later)
The grand chancellor of the Légion d'honneur has declared that Bob Dylan is unworthy of receiving France's highest honour, in defiance of the culture minister, Aurélie Filippetti – a huge fan of the singer who nominated him for the award. General Jean-Louis Georgelin apparently takes a dim view of Dylan's anti-war activism and cannabis use. Mindful of the standards required of a rank held by Celine Dion, Vladimir Putin, and the Azerbaijani dictator Ilham Aliyev and his pneumatic wife Mehriban, Georgelin has let it be known that Dylan shall not pass.The grand chancellor of the Légion d'honneur has declared that Bob Dylan is unworthy of receiving France's highest honour, in defiance of the culture minister, Aurélie Filippetti – a huge fan of the singer who nominated him for the award. General Jean-Louis Georgelin apparently takes a dim view of Dylan's anti-war activism and cannabis use. Mindful of the standards required of a rank held by Celine Dion, Vladimir Putin, and the Azerbaijani dictator Ilham Aliyev and his pneumatic wife Mehriban, Georgelin has let it be known that Dylan shall not pass.
Dylan is already a chevalier of the lesser French Ordre des Arts et des Lettres, which allows him to wear a green lapel clip and a glittery silver cross straight out of a Ferrero Rocher advert. And, as anyone who has seen Dylan in the past 25 years will testify, he never leaves home without them. Still, no amount of the finest organic skunk can take away the pain of rejection, particularly since Dylan is now outranked by Bruce Willis, who has just been made a commander of the same order.Dylan is already a chevalier of the lesser French Ordre des Arts et des Lettres, which allows him to wear a green lapel clip and a glittery silver cross straight out of a Ferrero Rocher advert. And, as anyone who has seen Dylan in the past 25 years will testify, he never leaves home without them. Still, no amount of the finest organic skunk can take away the pain of rejection, particularly since Dylan is now outranked by Bruce Willis, who has just been made a commander of the same order.
Having felt the cold shoulder of French institutional snobbery myself – when I was blackballed by the Confrérie du Boudin Noir for making an unfortunate observation on the limpness of French blood sausage compared to black pudding – I feel I am in a unique position to offer Bob both solace and advice. I know that right now, Bob, you must feel as lonely and unloved as that day at the Newport Folk Festival in 1965 when you went electric. But all is not lost. There are things you can do.Having felt the cold shoulder of French institutional snobbery myself – when I was blackballed by the Confrérie du Boudin Noir for making an unfortunate observation on the limpness of French blood sausage compared to black pudding – I feel I am in a unique position to offer Bob both solace and advice. I know that right now, Bob, you must feel as lonely and unloved as that day at the Newport Folk Festival in 1965 when you went electric. But all is not lost. There are things you can do.
First, you must refuse the honour. No word is heard louder in France than "Non!". Don't worry about the fact that they said no first – the French have a very sophisticated understanding of retreat and denial. And just look at who refused the Légion d'honneur before you – Camus, De Beauvoir, Sartre, Brassens, Aimé Césaire, Guy de Maupassant, and Marie and Pierre Curie. Or there's also the Brigitte Bardot oui-non approach. Sacha Distel – elevated to the Légion for his services to music and to women – once told me that when Bardot refused she was offered an upgrade.First, you must refuse the honour. No word is heard louder in France than "Non!". Don't worry about the fact that they said no first – the French have a very sophisticated understanding of retreat and denial. And just look at who refused the Légion d'honneur before you – Camus, De Beauvoir, Sartre, Brassens, Aimé Césaire, Guy de Maupassant, and Marie and Pierre Curie. Or there's also the Brigitte Bardot oui-non approach. Sacha Distel – elevated to the Légion for his services to music and to women – once told me that when Bardot refused she was offered an upgrade.
By now you will have become a cause célèbre. France so loves a cause célèbre that it went out and invented the concept. The good news is that Marine Le Pen and her Front National have weighed in behind the general, which could make this the new Dreyfus affair: an innocent Jewish guy publicly humiliated by the military in league with hate-mongering demagogues.By now you will have become a cause célèbre. France so loves a cause célèbre that it went out and invented the concept. The good news is that Marine Le Pen and her Front National have weighed in behind the general, which could make this the new Dreyfus affair: an innocent Jewish guy publicly humiliated by the military in league with hate-mongering demagogues.
You will also need high-profile supporters. My fellow Paris wastrel Pete Doherty says that the last time you played Paris you won the Sarkozys over by giving Carla your harmonica. As Pete says, "He [Sarkozy] was like: I don't want to meet this guy, who is he anyway?" And you will have to write a song – every protest movement needs one. I'll even give you a title: "Mon général – je t'accuse!"You will also need high-profile supporters. My fellow Paris wastrel Pete Doherty says that the last time you played Paris you won the Sarkozys over by giving Carla your harmonica. As Pete says, "He [Sarkozy] was like: I don't want to meet this guy, who is he anyway?" And you will have to write a song – every protest movement needs one. I'll even give you a title: "Mon général – je t'accuse!"
Or you could just go out and buy the thing. During la belle époque wWhen Sarkozy was in the Élysée he was often accused of doling out decorations to anyone who slipped cash to his party. Unfortunately that door is now closed; but as I found when I accompanied the architect Andrew Todd to pick up his chevalier regalia at La Monnaie de Paris, all you have to do is present yourself at the counter looking pleased with yourself and you're in. No one was interested in the contents of his vellum envelope, just his cash – €410 gets you the Légion d'honneur commandeur, with a few euros more for the red lapel boutonnière.Or you could just go out and buy the thing. During la belle époque wWhen Sarkozy was in the Élysée he was often accused of doling out decorations to anyone who slipped cash to his party. Unfortunately that door is now closed; but as I found when I accompanied the architect Andrew Todd to pick up his chevalier regalia at La Monnaie de Paris, all you have to do is present yourself at the counter looking pleased with yourself and you're in. No one was interested in the contents of his vellum envelope, just his cash – €410 gets you the Légion d'honneur commandeur, with a few euros more for the red lapel boutonnière.
It's illegal to claim an honour you haven't been given, but there is nothing to say you cannot wear it as "costume jewellery". And who is to know, if you smile and say "Yes, it is a great honour", as the maitre d' shepherds you to the best table in the restaurant?It's illegal to claim an honour you haven't been given, but there is nothing to say you cannot wear it as "costume jewellery". And who is to know, if you smile and say "Yes, it is a great honour", as the maitre d' shepherds you to the best table in the restaurant?
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