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Why the Boston terrorist plot is the least successful in living memory Why the Boston terrorist plot is the least successful in living memory
(5 months later)
It's an early call, but the Boston marathon bombing may well be the least successful terrorist plot in living memory. I doubt the realisation dawned on the suspect now lying dead in a hospital morgue, his last breaths taken as medical staff battled unquestioningly to save him as they would any other patient. But if the effect of your supreme act of cynicism is to slough away cynicism, then you are a stunning failure, and so is what we'll flatter absurdly as your "ideology".It's an early call, but the Boston marathon bombing may well be the least successful terrorist plot in living memory. I doubt the realisation dawned on the suspect now lying dead in a hospital morgue, his last breaths taken as medical staff battled unquestioningly to save him as they would any other patient. But if the effect of your supreme act of cynicism is to slough away cynicism, then you are a stunning failure, and so is what we'll flatter absurdly as your "ideology".
A week ago, many might well have remarked that Sunday's London marathon was probably only a year off being rebranded the McDonald's London marathon. Even more might have confessed to that slight reflexive dread as another sponsorship request pinged in. Anyone who denies that a certain degree of ennui has accrued around such events must ask themselves why so many charity marathon runners feel the need to begin their emails with regretful second-guessing. "I hope you don't mind …", "Sorry for another request …"A week ago, many might well have remarked that Sunday's London marathon was probably only a year off being rebranded the McDonald's London marathon. Even more might have confessed to that slight reflexive dread as another sponsorship request pinged in. Anyone who denies that a certain degree of ennui has accrued around such events must ask themselves why so many charity marathon runners feel the need to begin their emails with regretful second-guessing. "I hope you don't mind …", "Sorry for another request …"
As Boston has reminded the world: DON'T YOU DARE APOLOGISE.As Boston has reminded the world: DON'T YOU DARE APOLOGISE.
It's just a hunch, but I bet viewing figures for the London marathon are stonking. Just as the Olympics felt like a cavalcade of aspirational and inspirational stories, so those same aspects of the marathon have been newly exposed again. A week ago I might have scanned that tumult of charity runners and rolled my eyes at someone in a comedy ostrich costume. Thanks to the Boston bombers' moronic masterplan, I will now see something else entirely. I will look at those seas of bobbing heads and imagine thousands of vicarious brushes or head-on collisions with tragedy or pain or deprivation, and thousands of people knackering their arses to do something about it.It's just a hunch, but I bet viewing figures for the London marathon are stonking. Just as the Olympics felt like a cavalcade of aspirational and inspirational stories, so those same aspects of the marathon have been newly exposed again. A week ago I might have scanned that tumult of charity runners and rolled my eyes at someone in a comedy ostrich costume. Thanks to the Boston bombers' moronic masterplan, I will now see something else entirely. I will look at those seas of bobbing heads and imagine thousands of vicarious brushes or head-on collisions with tragedy or pain or deprivation, and thousands of people knackering their arses to do something about it.
In telescoping their act of murderous imbecility on the finishing line of an event in which the overwhelming majority of participants are ordinary people putting themselves through the wringer in the cause of other ordinary people, the Boston bombers served only to remind the world that marathons are something in which we all have a stake. Not everyone in the UK knows someone running in Sunday's marathon, but you could imagine everyone knowing someone who knows someone running in it. Have you got a someone? It's not too late to get a someone.In telescoping their act of murderous imbecility on the finishing line of an event in which the overwhelming majority of participants are ordinary people putting themselves through the wringer in the cause of other ordinary people, the Boston bombers served only to remind the world that marathons are something in which we all have a stake. Not everyone in the UK knows someone running in Sunday's marathon, but you could imagine everyone knowing someone who knows someone running in it. Have you got a someone? It's not too late to get a someone.
My someone in this year's marathon is called William Sherwood, and he's the surgeon who saved my newborn son last August, operating on him when he was three days old in a procedure I'll paraphrase as "rearranging his insides". I had spent what felt like a couple of decades – but was in fact only a couple of days – asking everyone from doctors to nurses to cleaners to random people in corridors whether my baby was going to die, and been only answered with what felt like an increasingly tentative "Look, he's in the best place …"My someone in this year's marathon is called William Sherwood, and he's the surgeon who saved my newborn son last August, operating on him when he was three days old in a procedure I'll paraphrase as "rearranging his insides". I had spent what felt like a couple of decades – but was in fact only a couple of days – asking everyone from doctors to nurses to cleaners to random people in corridors whether my baby was going to die, and been only answered with what felt like an increasingly tentative "Look, he's in the best place …"
Will was the first person to say "No". No, he wasn't going to die, because he was going to operate on him later that day. I still don't know the precise details of what went on during those hours because I was too gibberingly fearful to ask in full, let alone go anywhere near the internet for information. When we were out of the worst woods, my Google outings were limited to search terms such as "possible to actually fall in actual love with surgeon and for husband to also fall in actual love with surgeon". I obviously resolved to marry Will to one of my sisters, and was most put out during one of the night vigils with the brilliant nurses when one of them confided that he was spoken for. "What a surprise," I hissed over the nest of tubes. "He's young, good-looking, and his job is SAVING BABIES. I literally can't believe he's not single." (You'll note it wasn't all surgical wins for us: my sarcasmectomy was unsuccessful.)Will was the first person to say "No". No, he wasn't going to die, because he was going to operate on him later that day. I still don't know the precise details of what went on during those hours because I was too gibberingly fearful to ask in full, let alone go anywhere near the internet for information. When we were out of the worst woods, my Google outings were limited to search terms such as "possible to actually fall in actual love with surgeon and for husband to also fall in actual love with surgeon". I obviously resolved to marry Will to one of my sisters, and was most put out during one of the night vigils with the brilliant nurses when one of them confided that he was spoken for. "What a surprise," I hissed over the nest of tubes. "He's young, good-looking, and his job is SAVING BABIES. I literally can't believe he's not single." (You'll note it wasn't all surgical wins for us: my sarcasmectomy was unsuccessful.)
On Sunday, Will is running for Chelsea and Westminster hospital's Pluto appeal, a drive by the Children's Hospital Trust Fund to raise cash for a surgical robot. This is a spectacular piece of kit – let's call it RoboDoc – that enables surgeons to perform intricate operations on children and even the tiniest babies with greater precision than the human hand allows. There's currently only one children's surgical robot in the UK, based in Leeds (there are 300 in the US).On Sunday, Will is running for Chelsea and Westminster hospital's Pluto appeal, a drive by the Children's Hospital Trust Fund to raise cash for a surgical robot. This is a spectacular piece of kit – let's call it RoboDoc – that enables surgeons to perform intricate operations on children and even the tiniest babies with greater precision than the human hand allows. There's currently only one children's surgical robot in the UK, based in Leeds (there are 300 in the US).
So, if you haven't a sponsorship interest in Sunday's marathon, might I respectfully suggest a flutter on Will? He's at justgiving.com/william-sherwood, and at the time of writing he had not reached his sponsorship target, probably because he fritters his time away saving lives as opposed to sending out those aforementioned dreaded sponsorship emails. Or pick someone else. Back a mate or a comedy ostrich. Consider it a wondrous human Grand National on which we can all have a flutter.So, if you haven't a sponsorship interest in Sunday's marathon, might I respectfully suggest a flutter on Will? He's at justgiving.com/william-sherwood, and at the time of writing he had not reached his sponsorship target, probably because he fritters his time away saving lives as opposed to sending out those aforementioned dreaded sponsorship emails. Or pick someone else. Back a mate or a comedy ostrich. Consider it a wondrous human Grand National on which we can all have a flutter.
And it is the ultimate flutter, if you think about it, because you never know when you or yours might need to collect on the communal winnings their charitable efforts produce. Maybe some of the medical equipment that saved those injured in the Boston blasts was, by some circuitous route, funded by Bostonians running in previous marathons. Maybe the work of the medical staff who battled to save the bombing suspect was in part made possible by past donations from ordinary people doing this extraordinary, mad, 26-mile thing. If it was, I can't think of an irony more sublimely illustrative of who's on the side of humanity and right. Go on. Have a punt.And it is the ultimate flutter, if you think about it, because you never know when you or yours might need to collect on the communal winnings their charitable efforts produce. Maybe some of the medical equipment that saved those injured in the Boston blasts was, by some circuitous route, funded by Bostonians running in previous marathons. Maybe the work of the medical staff who battled to save the bombing suspect was in part made possible by past donations from ordinary people doing this extraordinary, mad, 26-mile thing. If it was, I can't think of an irony more sublimely illustrative of who's on the side of humanity and right. Go on. Have a punt.
Twitter: @MarinaHydeTwitter: @MarinaHyde
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