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If only the grieving for Lady Thatcher could go on for ever and ever If only the grieving for Lady Thatcher could go on for ever and ever
(5 months later)
Cameron: Are you coming to the funeral, Barry?Cameron: Are you coming to the funeral, Barry?
Obama: What funeral?Obama: What funeral?
Cameron: Margaret Thatcher's.Cameron: Margaret Thatcher's.
Obama: Who the hell is she?Obama: Who the hell is she?
Cameron: Only the Greatest Woman Who Ever Lived.Cameron: Only the Greatest Woman Who Ever Lived.
Obama: Sorry. Still never heard of her.Obama: Sorry. Still never heard of her.
Cameron: Shame. While you're there, do you have a number for General Pinochet?Cameron: Shame. While you're there, do you have a number for General Pinochet?
Obama: He's dead.Obama: He's dead.
Cameron: What? No one tells me a thing.Cameron: What? No one tells me a thing.
Craig Oliver: Have you seen the opinion polls? If Thatcher were leading the Conservative party, the Tories would be re-elected with a landslide majority.Craig Oliver: Have you seen the opinion polls? If Thatcher were leading the Conservative party, the Tories would be re-elected with a landslide majority.
Cameron: It's a Dead Thatch Bounce.Cameron: It's a Dead Thatch Bounce.
Oliver: You don't get it, do you? The country is so disillusioned with the coalition it would rather be governed by someone who is dead.Oliver: You don't get it, do you? The country is so disillusioned with the coalition it would rather be governed by someone who is dead.
Blair: Er, excuse me, guys. Yer know the Saint Lady isn't dead. She is resurrected in me. Is that a microphone? Ah good. Have I told you how much she admired me?Blair: Er, excuse me, guys. Yer know the Saint Lady isn't dead. She is resurrected in me. Is that a microphone? Ah good. Have I told you how much she admired me?
Bozza: And me.Bozza: And me.
Cameron: Sod off, blondie. You're meant to be in Saudi.Cameron: Sod off, blondie. You're meant to be in Saudi.
Blair: And how we often joked about how useless Labour is without me.Blair: And how we often joked about how useless Labour is without me.
Milidee: What? You're not still here, are you?Milidee: What? You're not still here, are you?
Blair: Yes. I've got a few more tax deals to sort out.Blair: Yes. I've got a few more tax deals to sort out.
Cameron: Ah! That reminds me. Has anyone checked that Mark Thatcher isn't going to be arrested for starting any coups or illegal arms deals?Cameron: Ah! That reminds me. Has anyone checked that Mark Thatcher isn't going to be arrested for starting any coups or illegal arms deals?
Daily Mail: It's a disgrace that Thatcher's funeral should only last a couple of hours and cost the country £10m. There should have been a whole year of national mourning during which it was obligatory for every politician to sob beside her coffin in eternal gratitude for her magnificent legacy.Daily Mail: It's a disgrace that Thatcher's funeral should only last a couple of hours and cost the country £10m. There should have been a whole year of national mourning during which it was obligatory for every politician to sob beside her coffin in eternal gratitude for her magnificent legacy.
Cameron: Believe me, I'm trying to spin this whole thing out for as long as possible. If I could get away with a year I would. Have I said how much I owe to the Supreme Leader?Cameron: Believe me, I'm trying to spin this whole thing out for as long as possible. If I could get away with a year I would. Have I said how much I owe to the Supreme Leader?
Dimbleby: Er, no. I seem to remember you normally try to distance yourself from her.Dimbleby: Er, no. I seem to remember you normally try to distance yourself from her.
Cameron: I don't think that's true at all. I loved Maggie more than life itself.Cameron: I don't think that's true at all. I loved Maggie more than life itself.
Clegg: I loved her more.Clegg: I loved her more.
Everyone: There's now even a competitive free market for grief. Maggie would be so proud.Everyone: There's now even a competitive free market for grief. Maggie would be so proud.
Osborne: I loved her the most. That's why I'm sobbing.Osborne: I loved her the most. That's why I'm sobbing.
Cameron: No it's not. You're sobbing because the IMF has again pointed out how useless you are.Cameron: No it's not. You're sobbing because the IMF has again pointed out how useless you are.
Osborne: I wish this funeral could go on for ever and ever.Osborne: I wish this funeral could go on for ever and ever.
Daily Mail: Us too.Daily Mail: Us too.
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