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Vigilantism, UK-style: a Boots worker stepping in to smack your toddler Vigilantism, UK-style: a Boots worker stepping in to smack your toddler
(6 months later)
I have learned the gospel of Mary Portas: tough times on the high street mean it's vital for retailers to focus on diversifying their services for maximum synergistic consumer appeal. For example, pop into a branch of Boots, and you can stock up on three-for-two chemists' goodies. You can sign up for their hair retention programme. And you can get your toddlers spanked while you're at it.I have learned the gospel of Mary Portas: tough times on the high street mean it's vital for retailers to focus on diversifying their services for maximum synergistic consumer appeal. For example, pop into a branch of Boots, and you can stock up on three-for-two chemists' goodies. You can sign up for their hair retention programme. And you can get your toddlers spanked while you're at it.
This last one isn't an official policy, but it is reported to be what happened to Angela Cropley's three-year-old daughter, Lora, on a visit to the Hall Place branch of Boots in Spalding. While Cropley talked to a member of staff, her daughter got a bit bored. Being a toddler, she toddled a bit; she knocked over a bottle of Dettol spray, and in a staggering act of pre-school vandalism, broke the nozzle.This last one isn't an official policy, but it is reported to be what happened to Angela Cropley's three-year-old daughter, Lora, on a visit to the Hall Place branch of Boots in Spalding. While Cropley talked to a member of staff, her daughter got a bit bored. Being a toddler, she toddled a bit; she knocked over a bottle of Dettol spray, and in a staggering act of pre-school vandalism, broke the nozzle.
Thankfully, society had a defender in place against this pint-size force of anarchy. The member of staff boldly stepped in to tell Lora she was a "naughty girl" and smack her on the bottom. Copley, understandably, was not particularly delighted with this extension of customer service into the corporal punishment of her daughter, and the apology she received from the store manager didn't improve things by claiming that the offending employee had only acted out of "empathy".Thankfully, society had a defender in place against this pint-size force of anarchy. The member of staff boldly stepped in to tell Lora she was a "naughty girl" and smack her on the bottom. Copley, understandably, was not particularly delighted with this extension of customer service into the corporal punishment of her daughter, and the apology she received from the store manager didn't improve things by claiming that the offending employee had only acted out of "empathy".
That's an interesting use of "empathy" there. Not so much touchy-feely as slappy-feely. But there's a reason retail staff are generally not empowered to raise a hand to slightly unruly infants, and that's because if you started doing it as official store policy, you'd never get anything else done.That's an interesting use of "empathy" there. Not so much touchy-feely as slappy-feely. But there's a reason retail staff are generally not empowered to raise a hand to slightly unruly infants, and that's because if you started doing it as official store policy, you'd never get anything else done.
All right, it's not really that. It's also that it's a gross infringement of a child's safety and a parent's authority. Let's call that a given. But also, anyone who's spent any amount of time around small children can tell you that they're destructive hellions of the first order. They're not doing it on purpose. I mean, they're barely more than babies. They've only just got into voluntary bowel movements, so they're hardly going on any deliberate crime sprees.All right, it's not really that. It's also that it's a gross infringement of a child's safety and a parent's authority. Let's call that a given. But also, anyone who's spent any amount of time around small children can tell you that they're destructive hellions of the first order. They're not doing it on purpose. I mean, they're barely more than babies. They've only just got into voluntary bowel movements, so they're hardly going on any deliberate crime sprees.
It's simply that the world is very large and interesting when you're young, and you quite reasonably want to touch every single thing in it. The corollary to that childish curiosity is often a fretful parent chasing them around, whispering, "No darling. Darling don't. Don't touch it. DON'TTOUCHIT. Right, we're going home NOW." Sometimes you even manage to get out of the shop before the carefully assembled pyramid of shiraz hits the linoleum.It's simply that the world is very large and interesting when you're young, and you quite reasonably want to touch every single thing in it. The corollary to that childish curiosity is often a fretful parent chasing them around, whispering, "No darling. Darling don't. Don't touch it. DON'TTOUCHIT. Right, we're going home NOW." Sometimes you even manage to get out of the shop before the carefully assembled pyramid of shiraz hits the linoleum.
Obviously, there are some shops where fidgetty child fingers are more inappropriate than others, and I really am sorry to that off-licence, and I would have paid for the bottle of wine we smashed‚ except the weary young man on the till insisted I didn't have to, with the hardened air of a man who had mopped up a few rivers of glass and alcohol in his time. People of any age knocking stuff over is just a fact of retail life.Obviously, there are some shops where fidgetty child fingers are more inappropriate than others, and I really am sorry to that off-licence, and I would have paid for the bottle of wine we smashed‚ except the weary young man on the till insisted I didn't have to, with the hardened air of a man who had mopped up a few rivers of glass and alcohol in his time. People of any age knocking stuff over is just a fact of retail life.
You'd expect a shop like Boots that trades in nappies and Calpol to be a bit more accommodating than one selling booze and fags. But in my experience, the Spalding vigilante discipline dispenser is typical of a certain British tendency to be intolerant of children: children can sometimes be treated like a peculiar caste of creature all to themselves, permitted to exist in ordinary human spaces as long as they don't draw attention to themselves by doing anything ‚ well, childish.You'd expect a shop like Boots that trades in nappies and Calpol to be a bit more accommodating than one selling booze and fags. But in my experience, the Spalding vigilante discipline dispenser is typical of a certain British tendency to be intolerant of children: children can sometimes be treated like a peculiar caste of creature all to themselves, permitted to exist in ordinary human spaces as long as they don't draw attention to themselves by doing anything ‚ well, childish.
At this point, the bluff voice of common sense would like to add something. It says: "If I spoke out of turn in the butchers, I'd have had the blunt end of the cleaver. This happened all the time when I was a lad and it never did me any harm." But the bluff voice of common sense is a liar: corporal punishment is bad for everyone involved. I like to think that a world where we don't go around walloping kids is just a nicer world to be a part of.At this point, the bluff voice of common sense would like to add something. It says: "If I spoke out of turn in the butchers, I'd have had the blunt end of the cleaver. This happened all the time when I was a lad and it never did me any harm." But the bluff voice of common sense is a liar: corporal punishment is bad for everyone involved. I like to think that a world where we don't go around walloping kids is just a nicer world to be a part of.
Children in general live in awe of adults anyway, making the threat of violence superfluous, however seemingly slight it may be. And there are so many ways of dealing with another person's child in the act of naughtiness that don't involve physically attacking them‚ like, say, talking to them gently but firmly. That one works so well, you'd almost think that children were people too.Children in general live in awe of adults anyway, making the threat of violence superfluous, however seemingly slight it may be. And there are so many ways of dealing with another person's child in the act of naughtiness that don't involve physically attacking them‚ like, say, talking to them gently but firmly. That one works so well, you'd almost think that children were people too.
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