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| Version 4 | Version 5 |
|---|---|
| Lindsay Hoyle, hero of the budget | Lindsay Hoyle, hero of the budget |
| (7 days later) | |
| Age: 55. | Age: 55. |
| Appearance: A supply teacher on a Friday afternoon. | Appearance: A supply teacher on a Friday afternoon. |
| Occupation: National treasure. | Occupation: National treasure. |
| Really? I thought he was deputy speaker of the House of Commons, Labour MP for Chorley and otherwise a harmless grey-haired northerner. He was, until he became the hero of the budget statement, and the darling of Twitter. | Really? I thought he was deputy speaker of the House of Commons, Labour MP for Chorley and otherwise a harmless grey-haired northerner. He was, until he became the hero of the budget statement, and the darling of Twitter. |
| Did he find a spare couple of billion behind the chair? Better than that. He treated the politicians as they behaved: like rowdy schoolchildren. | Did he find a spare couple of billion behind the chair? Better than that. He treated the politicians as they behaved: like rowdy schoolchildren. |
| I've always wanted someone to do that. You, me and the rest of the country. | I've always wanted someone to do that. You, me and the rest of the country. |
| Do you have the gory details? Do I ever let you down? First, when Ed Balls was waving copies of the Evening Standard's front page, which had accidentally leaked full details of the budget, Hoyle shouted down all the hecklers, and gave Balls a ticking-off with the words: "The shadow chancellor may not have been the chancellor, but he should have the courtesies and should know better." When Balls waved it again, he said: "I don't wish to see it!" Before adding: "Let's not let this become a circus of the day." | Do you have the gory details? Do I ever let you down? First, when Ed Balls was waving copies of the Evening Standard's front page, which had accidentally leaked full details of the budget, Hoyle shouted down all the hecklers, and gave Balls a ticking-off with the words: "The shadow chancellor may not have been the chancellor, but he should have the courtesies and should know better." When Balls waved it again, he said: "I don't wish to see it!" Before adding: "Let's not let this become a circus of the day." |
| What's a circus of the day? I don't think we should worry too much about things like that. At any rate, the barracking was just as bad from the Tory benches, so soon he turned to one MP and said: "If you don't want to hear your own chancellor, I'm sure your constituents would understand if you wish to leave the chamber." | What's a circus of the day? I don't think we should worry too much about things like that. At any rate, the barracking was just as bad from the Tory benches, so soon he turned to one MP and said: "If you don't want to hear your own chancellor, I'm sure your constituents would understand if you wish to leave the chamber." |
| Sarcasm. Nice. I always liked the sarcastic teachers best. Hoyle also explained: "It's not a competition of who can shout the loudest!" | Sarcasm. Nice. I always liked the sarcastic teachers best. Hoyle also explained: "It's not a competition of who can shout the loudest!" |
| They need to get that engraved on the backs of all the benches. The noise continued, however. So he kept the zingers coming. "Panto auditions to take place outside the chamber!" he announced at one point. | They need to get that engraved on the backs of all the benches. The noise continued, however. So he kept the zingers coming. "Panto auditions to take place outside the chamber!" he announced at one point. |
| Really? No, that was another joke. Next he told another noisy MP: "Your voice would be better saved for cheering on Chester FC." This time he got a good comeback, though, when the MP shouted: "They're rubbish too!" | Really? No, that was another joke. Next he told another noisy MP: "Your voice would be better saved for cheering on Chester FC." This time he got a good comeback, though, when the MP shouted: "They're rubbish too!" |
| What fun. And how was the actual budget? Any news? Actually, I didn't notice. | What fun. And how was the actual budget? Any news? Actually, I didn't notice. |
| Do say: "What's so funny at the back there? No, do please share the joke with the rest of the chamber." | Do say: "What's so funny at the back there? No, do please share the joke with the rest of the chamber." |
| Don't say: "The dog ate my private member's bill." | Don't say: "The dog ate my private member's bill." |
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