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| Version 1 | Version 2 |
|---|---|
| Five Star Movement: is Italy having a laugh? | Five Star Movement: is Italy having a laugh? |
| (30 days later) | |
| Age: Tre anni e mezzo. | Age: Tre anni e mezzo. |
| Appearance: Molto felice! | Appearance: Molto felice! |
| Are you going to keep this up? No. | Are you going to keep this up? No. |
| Good … Wait a minute. Was that an English no? Certamente! | Good … Wait a minute. Was that an English no? Certamente! |
| I knew it. Next question: why are you being jocular in Italian? Because it's all the rage, especially in Italy, where the Movimento 5 Stelle, a protest group led by a 64-year-old comedian called Beppe Grillo, has just won more votes in the general election than any other single party. | I knew it. Next question: why are you being jocular in Italian? Because it's all the rage, especially in Italy, where the Movimento 5 Stelle, a protest group led by a 64-year-old comedian called Beppe Grillo, has just won more votes in the general election than any other single party. |
| My mother! So we're not talking about a sect based on the teachings of the Romford pop quintet whose hits included System Addict? No, we're not. | My mother! So we're not talking about a sect based on the teachings of the Romford pop quintet whose hits included System Addict? No, we're not. |
| Pity. Grillo's five stars, instead of representing Stedman, Lorraine, Deniece, Doris and Delroy Pearson, stand for the party's core principles of publicly owned water, better transport, development, internet access and environmentalism. | Pity. Grillo's five stars, instead of representing Stedman, Lorraine, Deniece, Doris and Delroy Pearson, stand for the party's core principles of publicly owned water, better transport, development, internet access and environmentalism. |
| With matching jumpsuits? No. Although it is broadly Eurosceptic, and profoundly opposed to corruption and dishonesty. | With matching jumpsuits? No. Although it is broadly Eurosceptic, and profoundly opposed to corruption and dishonesty. |
| That's not really the same thing. Perhaps it isn't. But Grillo is a real showman. In 2007, he organised the hugely successful "Vaffanculo Day" to protest against the country's rotten politics. | That's not really the same thing. Perhaps it isn't. But Grillo is a real showman. In 2007, he organised the hugely successful "Vaffanculo Day" to protest against the country's rotten politics. |
| What does Vaffanculo mean? Er ... It's a sweary way of saying "go away". | What does Vaffanculo mean? Er ... It's a sweary way of saying "go away". |
| So Italian voters, unhappy with the same old clowns dominating their politics, have voted for a new old clown instead? Yes. | So Italian voters, unhappy with the same old clowns dominating their politics, have voted for a new old clown instead? Yes. |
| That'll teach 'em! No it won't. The Five Star Movement isn't part of a political bloc, you see, which means it won't actually run the country. The centre-left will narrowly control the Italian parliament's lower house, while the centre-right just holds the upper one, meaning that nothing gets done, Italy's borrowing costs will become unsustainable, and they will probably just have another election. | That'll teach 'em! No it won't. The Five Star Movement isn't part of a political bloc, you see, which means it won't actually run the country. The centre-left will narrowly control the Italian parliament's lower house, while the centre-right just holds the upper one, meaning that nothing gets done, Italy's borrowing costs will become unsustainable, and they will probably just have another election. |
| Splendid. We'll see more of Grillo and his chums on TV soon then, will we? I'm afraid not. It is a central tenet of the party that their candidates do not appear on television. | Splendid. We'll see more of Grillo and his chums on TV soon then, will we? I'm afraid not. It is a central tenet of the party that their candidates do not appear on television. |
| Another thing they share with Five Star, I suppose. "We've started a war of generations," Grillo announced on his website. | Another thing they share with Five Star, I suppose. "We've started a war of generations," Grillo announced on his website. |
| Hahaha! That's hilarious. It's not a joke, you pillock. | Hahaha! That's hilarious. It's not a joke, you pillock. |
| Do say: "At least Grillo kept Silvio Berlusconi out of the top job." | Do say: "At least Grillo kept Silvio Berlusconi out of the top job." |
| Don't say: "Yes, but Berlusconi is a better comedian." | Don't say: "Yes, but Berlusconi is a better comedian." |
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