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Poor Fox News. If only marrying lesbians weren't so keen to conform Poor Fox News. If only marrying lesbians weren't so keen to conform
(7 months later)
I blame marriage for the recent humiliation of Fox News. Were it not for the daft idea that lesbians (and gay men) should enter into this hideous, outmoded institution, lesbians would not be as easily mistaken for heterosexual men.I blame marriage for the recent humiliation of Fox News. Were it not for the daft idea that lesbians (and gay men) should enter into this hideous, outmoded institution, lesbians would not be as easily mistaken for heterosexual men.
Last week the deeply conservative Fox News ran an article by Suzanne Venker on how "feminism didn't result in equality between the sexes". Venker claims that feminists have caused confusion for other women by suggesting that we can be equal to men and do not have to prioritise looking for the ideal husband to nest-build with. But the confusion, it would seem, lay with Fox News.Last week the deeply conservative Fox News ran an article by Suzanne Venker on how "feminism didn't result in equality between the sexes". Venker claims that feminists have caused confusion for other women by suggesting that we can be equal to men and do not have to prioritise looking for the ideal husband to nest-build with. But the confusion, it would seem, lay with Fox News.
The wedding photograph chosen to illustrate the wonder of the heterosexual union featured a couple looking as if they had walked out of Wedding magazine. The bride, decked out in a strapless ruched gown from Kleinfeld Bridal, and her groom in a dashing black tux and silver tie … but wait! The one in the tux is a butch-looking lezzer. It was a photograph from a wedding that Equally Wed featured last year, when Stephanie Figarelle and Lela McArthur became the first same-sex couple to marry at the Empire State Building.The wedding photograph chosen to illustrate the wonder of the heterosexual union featured a couple looking as if they had walked out of Wedding magazine. The bride, decked out in a strapless ruched gown from Kleinfeld Bridal, and her groom in a dashing black tux and silver tie … but wait! The one in the tux is a butch-looking lezzer. It was a photograph from a wedding that Equally Wed featured last year, when Stephanie Figarelle and Lela McArthur became the first same-sex couple to marry at the Empire State Building.
Fox, although it has unwittingly realised its own worst nightmare by admitting that men are nothing more than poor substitutes for butch lesbians, should feel reassured by its mistake. If all lesbian couples looked like Steph and Lela the status quo would remain largely unaffected. Passersby, seeing the happy couple leave the ceremony covered in confetti, resplendent in tux and taffeta, would assume they were heterosexuals. If the butch carries the femme across the threshold and leads the first dance to Greatest Day by Take That, then all remains in order.Fox, although it has unwittingly realised its own worst nightmare by admitting that men are nothing more than poor substitutes for butch lesbians, should feel reassured by its mistake. If all lesbian couples looked like Steph and Lela the status quo would remain largely unaffected. Passersby, seeing the happy couple leave the ceremony covered in confetti, resplendent in tux and taffeta, would assume they were heterosexuals. If the butch carries the femme across the threshold and leads the first dance to Greatest Day by Take That, then all remains in order.
Although the sight of a butch lesbian is usually shocking to the heteros, the women mocking up as men these days seem to be doing so to adhere to, rather than disrupt, the status quo. I do get confused sometimes as to what feminists such as myself have achieved in breaking down gender rules and campaigning for an end to masculine and feminine stereotypes when lesbians leap right back into the 1950s. Maybe if we had been having white weddings for thousands of years we would be looking at how to subvert the ceremony by now, rather than follow the naffest traditions of old, even if it means decking out in dungarees and Dr Martens and having the cats as bridesmaids.Although the sight of a butch lesbian is usually shocking to the heteros, the women mocking up as men these days seem to be doing so to adhere to, rather than disrupt, the status quo. I do get confused sometimes as to what feminists such as myself have achieved in breaking down gender rules and campaigning for an end to masculine and feminine stereotypes when lesbians leap right back into the 1950s. Maybe if we had been having white weddings for thousands of years we would be looking at how to subvert the ceremony by now, rather than follow the naffest traditions of old, even if it means decking out in dungarees and Dr Martens and having the cats as bridesmaids.
Paradoxically, one of the key demands of radical feminism is that women should be able to determine their own sexuality (which in my book means give up men for a walk on the wild side), which has led to our "right" to marry each other like the straights do. We have come full circle, it would seem. Instead of dismantling the patriarchal institution we are now taking part in it, often dressed more like something out of Don't Tell the Bride.Paradoxically, one of the key demands of radical feminism is that women should be able to determine their own sexuality (which in my book means give up men for a walk on the wild side), which has led to our "right" to marry each other like the straights do. We have come full circle, it would seem. Instead of dismantling the patriarchal institution we are now taking part in it, often dressed more like something out of Don't Tell the Bride.
In their wedding vows, Lela said to Steph: "On this special Valentine's Day, I make a promise to you, to myself, to our family and friends, to stay by your side as a faithful wife, in joy and sorrow, in good times and bad." Is it just me or does that sound a bit retro rather than revolutionary?In their wedding vows, Lela said to Steph: "On this special Valentine's Day, I make a promise to you, to myself, to our family and friends, to stay by your side as a faithful wife, in joy and sorrow, in good times and bad." Is it just me or does that sound a bit retro rather than revolutionary?
I thought the days of butch and femme were gone, but seemingly we are witnessing a revival. Just as lesbianism has become more visible, having previously been all but drowned out by gay men, we are increasingly mistaken for the normals. Fox News, with its unpleasant take on all things feminist, should be thrilled at how similar lesbians are to heteros. Its readers would never have noticed the difference between Steph and Lela and any regular straight couple had it not been pointed out to them. It is time we stopped impersonating the heterosexuals. After all, we are supposed to offer them a viable alternative.I thought the days of butch and femme were gone, but seemingly we are witnessing a revival. Just as lesbianism has become more visible, having previously been all but drowned out by gay men, we are increasingly mistaken for the normals. Fox News, with its unpleasant take on all things feminist, should be thrilled at how similar lesbians are to heteros. Its readers would never have noticed the difference between Steph and Lela and any regular straight couple had it not been pointed out to them. It is time we stopped impersonating the heterosexuals. After all, we are supposed to offer them a viable alternative.
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