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| Is there a doctor in the house? | Is there a doctor in the house? |
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| 'Please tell me when I can call you Herr Doktor," said the white-haired waitress in the old-fashioned cafe on Güntzelstrasse in Berlin, as she served me my morning coffee. That was a lifetime ago, and she never got the pleasure because I never finished my Oxford doctoral thesis. But the German cult of academic titles, sweetly expressed in the old waitress's inquiry, has now claimed yet another top-level German political scalp. | 'Please tell me when I can call you Herr Doktor," said the white-haired waitress in the old-fashioned cafe on Güntzelstrasse in Berlin, as she served me my morning coffee. That was a lifetime ago, and she never got the pleasure because I never finished my Oxford doctoral thesis. But the German cult of academic titles, sweetly expressed in the old waitress's inquiry, has now claimed yet another top-level German political scalp. |
| Professor (ex-) Dr Annette Schavan, federal minister for education and research and one of Angela Merkel's closest cabinet allies, has resigned. An academic commission at her former university in Düsseldorf withdrew the doctoral title awarded for her 1980 thesis on the subject of "person and conscience" (irony upon irony), on the grounds that she had been – shall we say – somewhat unconscientious in not attributing passages to their original sources. | Professor (ex-) Dr Annette Schavan, federal minister for education and research and one of Angela Merkel's closest cabinet allies, has resigned. An academic commission at her former university in Düsseldorf withdrew the doctoral title awarded for her 1980 thesis on the subject of "person and conscience" (irony upon irony), on the grounds that she had been – shall we say – somewhat unconscientious in not attributing passages to their original sources. |
| She is not the first. Two years ago, a rising star of the German right, the then defence minister Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg, also had to resign on the grounds that he had plagiarised his doctoral dissertation. Since he is a baron, this earned him the unforgettable title Baron zu Googleberg. In between, two German members of the European parliament have also been stripped of their doctoral titles, thanks to online netizen hunts (Tally ho! What a jolly German sport) using a Wikipedia-like collaborative platform called VroniPlag. | She is not the first. Two years ago, a rising star of the German right, the then defence minister Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg, also had to resign on the grounds that he had plagiarised his doctoral dissertation. Since he is a baron, this earned him the unforgettable title Baron zu Googleberg. In between, two German members of the European parliament have also been stripped of their doctoral titles, thanks to online netizen hunts (Tally ho! What a jolly German sport) using a Wikipedia-like collaborative platform called VroniPlag. |
| I jest, but in Germany such titles are no laughing matter. According to research by my superb German assistant, until last week 10 out of 16 members of the German federal cabinet, obviously including Dr Merkel herself, had academic doctorates. Then there were nine. But now Dr Merkel has appointed another academic, Dr Johanna Wanka, as education minister, bringing the tally back up to 10. For comparison: so far as we can establish, just one out of 22 full members of the British cabinet admits to having an academic doctorate (Dr Vince Cable.) In Britain, a "proper doctor" means a medical doctor, even if they have long since stopped practising: Dr David Owen, Dr Liam Fox, Dr Evan Harris. | I jest, but in Germany such titles are no laughing matter. According to research by my superb German assistant, until last week 10 out of 16 members of the German federal cabinet, obviously including Dr Merkel herself, had academic doctorates. Then there were nine. But now Dr Merkel has appointed another academic, Dr Johanna Wanka, as education minister, bringing the tally back up to 10. For comparison: so far as we can establish, just one out of 22 full members of the British cabinet admits to having an academic doctorate (Dr Vince Cable.) In Britain, a "proper doctor" means a medical doctor, even if they have long since stopped practising: Dr David Owen, Dr Liam Fox, Dr Evan Harris. |
| When Baron zu Googleberg fell from his high horse, the Economist reckoned that nearly one out of five members of the Bundestag, the lower house of Germany's parliament, had a doctorate, compared with roughly one in every 33 members of the then US Congress – and not a single US senator. A doctorate used to be almost an entry-level requirement for work on a prestigious broadsheet such as the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung. If you are then made a professor, you become Prof Dr, or often Prof Dr Dr; and, if you then acquire multiple honorary doctorates, you can be Prof Dr Dr h.c. mult. (for honoris causa multiplex). My favourite was the Hamburg conference panel badge I saw for Ralf Dahrendorf, the German-British liberal intellectual and politician. It read: Lord Prof Dr Dr Ralf Dahrendorf. | |
| I had my own mildly ridiculous experience of this cult some years ago when, on account of some slight work I had done on German history and politics, the Berlin-Brandenburgische Akademie der Wissenschaften (indirect successor to Frederick the Great's Royal Academy of Sciences) kindly elected me to a fellowship. A form arrived asking, among other things, for my academic title. I replied, correctly at that time, "Mr". A polite letter came back, saying there must be some misunderstanding; they wanted my academic title. I wrote back: "Mr". A third letter arrived, saying in effect that this simply could not be, and I responded, in exasperated capitals, "MR". | |
| The register of fellows arrived, and there I was, listed with the academic title MR, in capitals – MR clearly being an obscure Oxford academic title, perhaps some kind of ancient magisterium. The Prussian academic clerk's mind just could not accommodate the possibility that a fellow of a German academy would not possess at least one doctorate – if not three. | The register of fellows arrived, and there I was, listed with the academic title MR, in capitals – MR clearly being an obscure Oxford academic title, perhaps some kind of ancient magisterium. The Prussian academic clerk's mind just could not accommodate the possibility that a fellow of a German academy would not possess at least one doctorate – if not three. |
| Of course, other countries have their own peculiar ways with titles. For example, my edition of the British Citizenship Test for Dummies, preparing people to take the test for becoming a British citizen, has this question: "Who is normally appointed a life peer? a) Ex-prime ministers, b) Church leaders, c) Distinguished politicians, business people or lawyers, d) People who make financial gifts to the government." According to the Dummies' guide, the correct answer is c). But the truth is that it would be equally accurate to say d) – elaborating slightly as "people who make large financial gifts to the parties in government (and preferably to some good causes as well)". That makes you a lord in Britain. It is, so to speak, the British form of plagiarism. | Of course, other countries have their own peculiar ways with titles. For example, my edition of the British Citizenship Test for Dummies, preparing people to take the test for becoming a British citizen, has this question: "Who is normally appointed a life peer? a) Ex-prime ministers, b) Church leaders, c) Distinguished politicians, business people or lawyers, d) People who make financial gifts to the government." According to the Dummies' guide, the correct answer is c). But the truth is that it would be equally accurate to say d) – elaborating slightly as "people who make large financial gifts to the parties in government (and preferably to some good causes as well)". That makes you a lord in Britain. It is, so to speak, the British form of plagiarism. |
| Are there any serious points to be taken from this rollicking German tale of vanishing doctorates? Yes, a few. First, the titles that a nation or a group esteem tell you something about that nation or group. (A joke from Weimar Berlin. Q: What's the most common Jewish first name? A: Doktor.) I find it hard to argue that Britain's hierarchy of political placeling and party donor peers is better than one that at least nominally values scholarship. Second, the internet makes it both easier to plagiarise and easier to be caught out plagiarising – even many years later. | Are there any serious points to be taken from this rollicking German tale of vanishing doctorates? Yes, a few. First, the titles that a nation or a group esteem tell you something about that nation or group. (A joke from Weimar Berlin. Q: What's the most common Jewish first name? A: Doktor.) I find it hard to argue that Britain's hierarchy of political placeling and party donor peers is better than one that at least nominally values scholarship. Second, the internet makes it both easier to plagiarise and easier to be caught out plagiarising – even many years later. |
| Last, and far from least, academic standards do matter. It is a real disgrace that the London School of Economics awarded Saif Gaddafi a doctorate for a pile of global governance waffle that obviously wasn't all his own work. Having supervised and advised many students who work incredibly hard to get it right, be rigorous, learn and practise a discipline, argue clearly, consult and acknowledge all the relevant sources, I feel strongly that no one, however "distinguished", should be allowed to get away with cheating. When I say Frau Doktor or Herr Doktor to someone, I want it to mean something. | Last, and far from least, academic standards do matter. It is a real disgrace that the London School of Economics awarded Saif Gaddafi a doctorate for a pile of global governance waffle that obviously wasn't all his own work. Having supervised and advised many students who work incredibly hard to get it right, be rigorous, learn and practise a discipline, argue clearly, consult and acknowledge all the relevant sources, I feel strongly that no one, however "distinguished", should be allowed to get away with cheating. When I say Frau Doktor or Herr Doktor to someone, I want it to mean something. |