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Experience: we honeymooned on the Costa Concordia Experience: we honeymooned on the Costa Concordia
(7 months later)
It was 9.45pm on a Sunday evening and my wife, Emily, and I were relaxing in our cabin on the Italian cruise ship Costa Concordia. We'd married two weeks earlier and this was our honeymoon: 17 days cruising around Europe.It was 9.45pm on a Sunday evening and my wife, Emily, and I were relaxing in our cabin on the Italian cruise ship Costa Concordia. We'd married two weeks earlier and this was our honeymoon: 17 days cruising around Europe.
At first we thought nothing of the soft scratching noise, although later we'd realise it was the sound of the hull being ripped open by a rock. Moments after, we felt the ship tilt ever so slightly to the starboard side.At first we thought nothing of the soft scratching noise, although later we'd realise it was the sound of the hull being ripped open by a rock. Moments after, we felt the ship tilt ever so slightly to the starboard side.
A wine bottle inched across the table and toppled off, then all our papers flew off the desk. We decided to walk up to the emergency meeting point, on the fourth deck, to see what was happening. We grabbed our life jackets from the cupboard. Still, we weren't really worried. We figured it was a drill and we'd be back in our cabin a few minutes later.A wine bottle inched across the table and toppled off, then all our papers flew off the desk. We decided to walk up to the emergency meeting point, on the fourth deck, to see what was happening. We grabbed our life jackets from the cupboard. Still, we weren't really worried. We figured it was a drill and we'd be back in our cabin a few minutes later.
When we got there, a large crowd had already gathered. Crew members were trying to keep everyone calm, but it was clear they had no idea what was going on either.When we got there, a large crowd had already gathered. Crew members were trying to keep everyone calm, but it was clear they had no idea what was going on either.
Forty-five minutes later, the captain ordered us to abandon ship. People started pushing towards the lifeboats, hysterical mothers clutching babies, elderly couples rooted to the spot with fear. The crowd was becoming panicked, aggressive. Emily grabbed my arm. "I don't want to push," she told me. "Is that OK?"Forty-five minutes later, the captain ordered us to abandon ship. People started pushing towards the lifeboats, hysterical mothers clutching babies, elderly couples rooted to the spot with fear. The crowd was becoming panicked, aggressive. Emily grabbed my arm. "I don't want to push," she told me. "Is that OK?"
"Yes," I replied."Yes," I replied.
"You know we might die, right?""You know we might die, right?"
I nodded. It just didn't feel right to shove someone else out of the way to save our own lives.I nodded. It just didn't feel right to shove someone else out of the way to save our own lives.
Somehow we managed to find our way on to one of the last lifeboats but the ship was by then at such an angle that when the crew tried to lower it into the water, it just slammed against the side. After a few tries they gave up and hoisted us back up on deck.Somehow we managed to find our way on to one of the last lifeboats but the ship was by then at such an angle that when the crew tried to lower it into the water, it just slammed against the side. After a few tries they gave up and hoisted us back up on deck.
The screaming had stopped now and an eerie calm had descended over the several hundred remaining passengers. We felt we'd been left to die. The ship was by now almost on its side and we could feel it being sucked downwards, water rushing in. Inevitably my mind flashed back to the movie Titanic. "We have to climb over the railing, on to the underside of the ship," I told Emily.The screaming had stopped now and an eerie calm had descended over the several hundred remaining passengers. We felt we'd been left to die. The ship was by now almost on its side and we could feel it being sucked downwards, water rushing in. Inevitably my mind flashed back to the movie Titanic. "We have to climb over the railing, on to the underside of the ship," I told Emily.
We found a length of rope and used it to lower ourselves. We instructed the passengers behind us to do the same. Then we all sat there, about 130 of us, and waited. "We should say goodbye to each other now," Emily said, "in case we don't get a chance later." We kissed and said we loved each other. Then I sang her a song I'd made up. "I'm glad we got married before this trip," Emily said.We found a length of rope and used it to lower ourselves. We instructed the passengers behind us to do the same. Then we all sat there, about 130 of us, and waited. "We should say goodbye to each other now," Emily said, "in case we don't get a chance later." We kissed and said we loved each other. Then I sang her a song I'd made up. "I'm glad we got married before this trip," Emily said.
It was sad, and surreal, but somehow we were smiling, too; we were just so grateful to be together. An hour or so later, we realised the ship had stopped sinking. It had tipped so far over, it was like we were sitting on a gentle slope.It was sad, and surreal, but somehow we were smiling, too; we were just so grateful to be together. An hour or so later, we realised the ship had stopped sinking. It had tipped so far over, it was like we were sitting on a gentle slope.
There was an air of resignation and a strange sense of camaraderie as we sat with the other passengers, holding hands and hugging each other, talking, laughing, crying and telling silly jokes. "I never imagined this was how I would die," Emily said. At least it was an interesting way to go, we reasoned.There was an air of resignation and a strange sense of camaraderie as we sat with the other passengers, holding hands and hugging each other, talking, laughing, crying and telling silly jokes. "I never imagined this was how I would die," Emily said. At least it was an interesting way to go, we reasoned.
Finally, three hours later, one of the lifeboats returned. We clambered in, terrified, exhausted, but elated to be alive.Finally, three hours later, one of the lifeboats returned. We clambered in, terrified, exhausted, but elated to be alive.
It dropped us on the tiny nearby island of Giglio, where 4,000 of our fellow passengers would eventually end up, too. After a sleepless night we were transported, via ferry and bus, back to Rome. We had no money or documents, and only the clothes we were standing in.It dropped us on the tiny nearby island of Giglio, where 4,000 of our fellow passengers would eventually end up, too. After a sleepless night we were transported, via ferry and bus, back to Rome. We had no money or documents, and only the clothes we were standing in.
It was a couple of days before we finally arrived home. We were tired and traumatised. I found that writing helped me work through it, and I published a memoir.It was a couple of days before we finally arrived home. We were tired and traumatised. I found that writing helped me work through it, and I published a memoir.
For many months after the shipwreck, we struggled. The news was full of reports of the disaster, so we could never switch off. We swung between gratitude for surviving to crippling guilt that 32 other people hadn't. Day-to-day life seemed so trivial for both of us – we found it hard to sleep or concentrate on friends and work. It was frustrating when some friends remarked that surviving the wreck was "a cool story to tell the kids". Emily and I went to counselling together, and it helped that we understood what the other had gone through. If just one of us had experienced this, we agreed, our marriage may well not have made it.For many months after the shipwreck, we struggled. The news was full of reports of the disaster, so we could never switch off. We swung between gratitude for surviving to crippling guilt that 32 other people hadn't. Day-to-day life seemed so trivial for both of us – we found it hard to sleep or concentrate on friends and work. It was frustrating when some friends remarked that surviving the wreck was "a cool story to tell the kids". Emily and I went to counselling together, and it helped that we understood what the other had gone through. If just one of us had experienced this, we agreed, our marriage may well not have made it.
• As told to Jacqui Paterson• As told to Jacqui Paterson
Do you have an experience to share? Email experience@guardian.co.ukDo you have an experience to share? Email experience@guardian.co.uk
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