Downton Abbey: season three, episode three

http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2013/jan/21/downton-abbey-episode-three-us

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<em>SPOILER ALERT: This blog is for people watching Downton Abbey series three on PBS in the US. Don't read on if you haven't seen episode three.</em>

Viv Groskop's episode two blog

This was an episode that pointed up the main problem with Downton: when it's mad we complain, but secretly enjoy it; when it's not that mad we also complain, because it feels a bit boring. By the usual melty-faced, tingling standards, this was a tame instalment, to be sure. Hundreds of letters went undelivered and then suddenly arrived all at once. Bates stopped shaving. Cousin Isobel said the word "prostitute" 73 times. There were some good points: the new footman, the reappearance of the Molesley-deprived Mrs Bird, the new footman. But mostly this was a rehash of things we've seen before. Once again Downton is in ill-defined monetary peril: "Downton is being mismanaged!" But how? I blame the overspend on bouillon spoons.

This is what happens when you set up a massively high-stakes entail-dependent narrative which relies on one of the sisters marrying her cousin, the only heir, and then she does just that. There's nowhere to go when that marriage has taken place. We can only hope that our focus is now supposed to fall on Anna and Bates as our source of suspense and emotional investment. Because now that Downton is in theory "saved", we're all in danger of losing the plot.

Other elements felt repetitive. We've seen "Tom" Branson (I still can't get used to them calling him Tom either) blow his top and be all revolutionary before. We know he's a crazy firebrand. There was more mileage in the idea that even Sybil is starting to doubt him now. Because he's such a crazy firebrand. But the whole "you set fire to our aristocratic blood brothers in their beds, you crazy firebrand" thing never quite took off.

More deja vu elsewhere. We've had Sybil the suffragette; now Edith is casting off her feminine mystique. But where are her pantaloons? The Earl of Grantham is once more becoming all stressy and paternalistic. His attentions usually start to stray when he gets like this. I predict the entrance of another attractive maid with a son at Ripon Grammar. And Daisy's love interest was thwarted once again. (Remember how she once had a soft spot for Thomas?)

Overall: too expositional, too setting-things-up-for-next-week, too dull. And, except for the electric toaster and the eye-candy footman and a few great facial expressions from Thomas and O'Brien, very little humour. And where oh where is Shirley MacLaine? Is she trapped in the cold meat cupboard? She has been there a few weeks now, she'll start to smell.

Random Subplot Alert

Ethel's moral dilemma is whether Charlie should be brought up as the son of a nice person who happens to be a prostitute, or as the son of nasty people who are not prostitutes. We have been here before, although Ethel wasn't quite a prostitute then – just a hussy. A bit too much detail with Evil Moustache Man Father-in-Law Type virtually salivating at the thought of the "client list".

It was beautifully acted, and it was also somehow refreshing to see a child – get that baby out, Sybil! You've been pregnant for three years now! – but, really, this was just an excuse to get Ethel (Amy Nuttall) back into the cast, unencumbered by a squealing toddler. I look forward to seeing how she gets on in Cousin Isobel's house working alongside Mrs "Outraged and Molesley-Mourning" Bird.

Golden Eyebrow award of the Week

No contest. Mrs Hughes wins hands down. How many hours were spent perfecting the look upon her face when Cousin Isobel enunciated the word "prostitute"? "My, my. That's not a word you hear in this house every day." It is now, if Cousin Isobel has anything to do with it!

Indeed special mention must be given here to Cousin Isobel for the relish she takes in brazenly uttering the word "prostitute". It's almost as if she's taken on this charitable life-rebuilding work in order to be able to say this word as often as possible. "Prostitute. Did you hear what I said? I'm going to say it again. Yes, I said 'prostitute'. I will not be silenced. Prostitute!" The frequency of this word in her vocabulary is rivalled only by the expression "rebuilding their lives". Bit Oprah for the 1920s, no?

Surprise Character Development

The biggest shock of the past few weeks, electric toasters aside, has been how boring Lady Mary and Matthew have become since they got lobotomised, I mean, married. Lady Mary is like a different woman and one that's not as fun. Signs of revival emerged tonight with the cryptic nursery scene. "So … the doctor …?" "Mmm … Just my hay fever." It wasn't clear what we were supposed to read into this. He wants her to get pregnant but she doesn't want to? She is taking secret measures to prevent pregnancy? Or maybe she is just missing Mr Pamuk. Aren't we all.

Sorry, could you just repeat that awkward line of dialogue?

There were some corkers this week.

<strong>Carson</strong>: "Can we bring the staff back up to snuff?" Is this an expression? Was it ever an expression? Once again our hearts go out to the actors who must make these lines work.

<strong>Cousin Violet</strong>: "That sort of thing is so horrid ..."<br /><strong>Edith</strong>: "Being jilted at the altar?"<br />A lovely piqued interchange. After all, Cousin Violet was first up the aisle to usher Lord Sir Anthony Strallen-Gormless out.

<strong>Lord Grantham</strong>: "There seems to be something of the Johnny Foreigner about Catholics." Pardon? I know this is 1920-something and he is an aristocrat and everything and not very politically correct but where, exactly, are we going with this?

Next week

Poor Jimmy feels the weight of Thomas's amorous attentions. "Mr Barrow is getting, er familiar." Cousin Isobel, surprise, surprise, hires Ethel the Prostitute to help her Rebuild her Life. And, on the strength of one letter to the editor, Edith becomes a lady newspaper columnist. Whatever next?