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You can find the current article at its original source at http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/shortcuts/2013/jan/21/swatting-prank-celebrity-tom-cruise
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| Version 2 | Version 3 |
|---|---|
| Swatting: a new kind of prank being played on celebrities | Swatting: a new kind of prank being played on celebrities |
| (10 days later) | |
| Age: A few years old. | Age: A few years old. |
| Appearance: Sudden. Armed. | Appearance: Sudden. Armed. |
| Don't tell me. Those gun freaks in America have started shooting flies, haven't they? Dear God, what is the world coming to ... No, it's not that. "Swatting" is a new kind of prank. | Don't tell me. Those gun freaks in America have started shooting flies, haven't they? Dear God, what is the world coming to ... No, it's not that. "Swatting" is a new kind of prank. |
| Like planking and milking? Ooh, how modern! Let's see – does it mean "hitting a stranger and pretending you were just shooing a fly off them"? Or "inhaling as many cans of Vapona as you can before you fall on your back and start spinning round with your legs in the air"? No. No. It's nothing to do with flies. It is the practice of making a call to the emergency services so they send a large, unneeded police response, ideally including a Special Weapons and Tactics – or Swat, d'you see? – team, to a celebrity's home. It's happening in LA and the latest incident involved Tom Cruise's house. | Like planking and milking? Ooh, how modern! Let's see – does it mean "hitting a stranger and pretending you were just shooing a fly off them"? Or "inhaling as many cans of Vapona as you can before you fall on your back and start spinning round with your legs in the air"? No. No. It's nothing to do with flies. It is the practice of making a call to the emergency services so they send a large, unneeded police response, ideally including a Special Weapons and Tactics – or Swat, d'you see? – team, to a celebrity's home. It's happening in LA and the latest incident involved Tom Cruise's house. |
| Tiny Tom? He must have been terrified! Shouldn't his Thetan overlords be protecting him from this kind of thing? Maybe they were – he was out of the house at the time. His security people dealt with the police when they turned up. | Tiny Tom? He must have been terrified! Shouldn't his Thetan overlords be protecting him from this kind of thing? Maybe they were – he was out of the house at the time. His security people dealt with the police when they turned up. |
| Who else has been swatted? Simon Cowell, Miley Cyrus, Charlie Sheen – | Who else has been swatted? Simon Cowell, Miley Cyrus, Charlie Sheen – |
| Would Sheen even notice if a Swat team turned up at his house, all guns blazing? Probably not. Unless one of them was a moonlighting porn star who took his fancy. | Would Sheen even notice if a Swat team turned up at his house, all guns blazing? Probably not. Unless one of them was a moonlighting porn star who took his fancy. |
| Isn't making prank phone calls to 911 illegal? It's a misdemeanour or felony in most states. Last year, a 12-year-old boy was arrested by the LAPD for telling them that multiple people had been shot at Ashton Kutcher's house and that gunfire had been heard at Justin Bieber's. | Isn't making prank phone calls to 911 illegal? It's a misdemeanour or felony in most states. Last year, a 12-year-old boy was arrested by the LAPD for telling them that multiple people had been shot at Ashton Kutcher's house and that gunfire had been heard at Justin Bieber's. |
| Yikes! And phone hacker Matthew Weigman, after a 60-swattings-strong career, is currently serving an 11-year sentence in a correctional facility in Pennsylvania for his part in a swatting conspiracy, among other things. | Yikes! And phone hacker Matthew Weigman, after a 60-swattings-strong career, is currently serving an 11-year sentence in a correctional facility in Pennsylvania for his part in a swatting conspiracy, among other things. |
| In my day we used to be satisfied with a game of Knock Down Ginger or getting people to stamp on bags of dog turd we'd set on fire on their doorsteps. Halcyon days, my friend. Halcyon days. | In my day we used to be satisfied with a game of Knock Down Ginger or getting people to stamp on bags of dog turd we'd set on fire on their doorsteps. Halcyon days, my friend. Halcyon days. |
| Do say: "I don't need an armed response team. I'm just gonna open up a can of whuppass on you, you little punk." | Do say: "I don't need an armed response team. I'm just gonna open up a can of whuppass on you, you little punk." |
| Don't say: "I think a Swat team should be sent to deal with Simon Cowell." | Don't say: "I think a Swat team should be sent to deal with Simon Cowell." |
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