Happy birthday internet! Here are 15 reasons why I love you

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jan/04/happy-birthday-internet-reasons-love-you

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The internet turned 30 this week. As an avid user of the internet, and someone who also recently entered her third decade, I wanted to commemorate the anniversary. In many ways, ours is a symbiotic relationship: without me (and millions of people like me), the internet could not be the vital, ever-evolving thing it is today. And without the internet, I would not be … you know what? Let's not go too far down that road.

Instead, here are 15 reasons why I love the internet. I would have liked to do 30 for symmetry, but a strict word count – and the modern malaise of a drastically reduced attention span, likely due to too much web surfing – precludes that.

1) It helps you find your "tribe". All those celebs who smile ruefully when talking about their teen years and say: "I was such an outcast. There was no one else like me"? In the future nobody will be able to say that. The internet is where outcasts collect. Type in your interests, find your people: it's now that simple.

2) It's free. That's incredibly rare and special in our world nowadays. The only things freer are air and the reassuring/disgusting warmth of strangers on the London Underground during the winter months.

3) It is – still – largely unregulated by the state. In your face, Leveson! Or something.

4) It is (mostly) democratic. No one can guarantee your niche blog on knitted toe separators will be a runaway success, but the internet is your oyster – same as everyone else.

5) Narcissism roams free there, like bison. The internet has given us endless platforms on which to share pointless information. Wanna see a meaningless photo of some cheesecake (Valencia filter, natch) I ate this one time? It's yours.

6) It is unfreakoutable. Nothing is too weird for the internet. Do you like watching Frasier while someone tickles your feet and calls you "Nigel"? Bet there's an online group just waiting for you to liven up their messageboards with your witty commentary. And if there isn't one, you can set it up – for free!

7) It taught me how to wash my hair. When I renounced evil chemical straightening two years ago, the internet opened up the mysteries of my hair to me. In short: shea butter and patience. Who knew?

8) Google. Yes, they are only a mildly more benign form of Skynet, and have already launched the first wave of the machine takeover (hello, Chromebook!). But they're Likeable Skynet™ dammit, providing helpful things we can't do without (Gmail), cannily acquiring the services we love (YouTube) and just to throw us off the scent, the occasional dud (Google Wave). I for one welcome our benevolent overlords.

9) It still feels a bit like magic. I am not strictly a "digital native". I was born at a time when you loaded film into cameras and were frugal with your flash, and was a teenager before touchscreens became pedestrian. Which is what makes the internet so thrilling. I giggle a little every time I control my wireless hi-fi with an app on my phone.

10) Anonymity. You want to be a dick? Welcome to the internet! Need to keep your identity secret so the military junta in charge won't kill you and your family? Come on down! The internet is a broad church, and you can be anonymous while worshipping.

11) Gifs. It is a place where one can legitimately reply to inquiries with gifs, AKA "for when words are just too much hassle".

12) Fan and slash fiction. Sure we have Fifty Shades of Grey still (somehow) selling like hot cakes, but that's just one trilogy in a galaxy of fanfic stars. What do you like – Lord of the Rings? Friends? Avengers? The online fandom does too. Once I saw highly specialist slash fiction featuring Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan. Iron Man and Black Widow fanfic felt charmingly quaint in comparison.

13) Open news. For better or worse, the news has opened up. The internet makes for a more diverse news diet and places ever more emphasis on good, solid journalism in a world of a crowdsourced agenda.

14) Twitter. Where you can go to see how much more glamorous everyone else's lives appear to be, as they chat with their celebrity friends.

15) Facebook. Where you can go and feel better about your life choices, because everyone you went to school with is an imbecile with politics that differ to yours. Also, they all have bad hair.