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| A Two-Continent Hostess | A Two-Continent Hostess |
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| IN January 1961, President John F. Kennedy dropped by Joseph Alsop’s house on Dumbarton Avenue in Washington after the inaugural balls to unwind with a band of revelers over Champagne and turtle soup. | IN January 1961, President John F. Kennedy dropped by Joseph Alsop’s house on Dumbarton Avenue in Washington after the inaugural balls to unwind with a band of revelers over Champagne and turtle soup. |
| Kennedy was always welcome at the Georgetown home of the outspoken, hawkish Alsop and his elegant wife, Susan Mary; but a year and a half later, the president nearly spoiled one of their dinners by talking at such length in the garden with the guest of honor, Charles E. Bohlen (whom he had just appointed ambassador to France), that the lamb got cold. The Washington Post’s Katharine and Philip Graham, the philosopher Isaiah Berlin and other guests waited hungrily for the president and ambassador to come to table. | Kennedy was always welcome at the Georgetown home of the outspoken, hawkish Alsop and his elegant wife, Susan Mary; but a year and a half later, the president nearly spoiled one of their dinners by talking at such length in the garden with the guest of honor, Charles E. Bohlen (whom he had just appointed ambassador to France), that the lamb got cold. The Washington Post’s Katharine and Philip Graham, the philosopher Isaiah Berlin and other guests waited hungrily for the president and ambassador to come to table. |
| “Something is going on,” Susan Mary told her husband later that night. | “Something is going on,” Susan Mary told her husband later that night. |
| “You think so?” he responded, skeptically. That “something” turned out to be the Cuban missile crisis. | “You think so?” he responded, skeptically. That “something” turned out to be the Cuban missile crisis. |
| “American Lady,” a new biography of Susan Mary Alsop by Caroline de Margerie, a French judge and former diplomat, reveals the influence and insight of the American hostess, who lived so elegantly in the public eye, and so passionately when no one was watching. | “American Lady,” a new biography of Susan Mary Alsop by Caroline de Margerie, a French judge and former diplomat, reveals the influence and insight of the American hostess, who lived so elegantly in the public eye, and so passionately when no one was watching. |
| Unlike her husband, Mrs. Alsop was not a syndicated columnist read by hundreds of thousands. But her gatherings drew people from both sides of the political aisles, creating lasting bonds. If she were alive today, she would be giving a celebratory dinner that President and Michelle Obama — and perhaps even Mitt and Ann Romney — would be delighted to attend, and where politesse would trump politics. | Unlike her husband, Mrs. Alsop was not a syndicated columnist read by hundreds of thousands. But her gatherings drew people from both sides of the political aisles, creating lasting bonds. If she were alive today, she would be giving a celebratory dinner that President and Michelle Obama — and perhaps even Mitt and Ann Romney — would be delighted to attend, and where politesse would trump politics. |
| Until she died in 2004, the tradition of giving parties to forge social and political alliances thrived in Washington, perpetuated by savvy, charming hostesses who delighted in making introductions and in smoothing discord between powerful men and women — magnifying their own reputations in the process. Mrs. Alsop was predeceased by Katharine Graham, another partygiver of wit and panache; and before that, by Pamela Harriman (whom she loathed, according to her biographer) and long before that, Perle Mesta. But the saloniste chain has been broken lately; it awaits a new doyenne to reattach the link and keep it growing. | Until she died in 2004, the tradition of giving parties to forge social and political alliances thrived in Washington, perpetuated by savvy, charming hostesses who delighted in making introductions and in smoothing discord between powerful men and women — magnifying their own reputations in the process. Mrs. Alsop was predeceased by Katharine Graham, another partygiver of wit and panache; and before that, by Pamela Harriman (whom she loathed, according to her biographer) and long before that, Perle Mesta. But the saloniste chain has been broken lately; it awaits a new doyenne to reattach the link and keep it growing. |
| For those not quite sure who Susan Mary Alsop was, here’s a refresher. Slender, lovely, dark-haired, ladylike and intense, she was born Susan Mary Jay in 1918, descended from John Jay, a founding father and the country’s first chief justice. As a Jay, she had enough family money to live comfortably but not enough to be rich (in her own opinion at least, according to Ms. de Margerie). | For those not quite sure who Susan Mary Alsop was, here’s a refresher. Slender, lovely, dark-haired, ladylike and intense, she was born Susan Mary Jay in 1918, descended from John Jay, a founding father and the country’s first chief justice. As a Jay, she had enough family money to live comfortably but not enough to be rich (in her own opinion at least, according to Ms. de Margerie). |
| In October 1939, when she was 20, she married a man named Bill Patten, and in 1945, wangled him a job at the American Embassy in Paris, where she gave frolicsome dinners for European, British and American social and diplomatic luminaries that had a serious underlying intent: to strengthen European-American ties. | In October 1939, when she was 20, she married a man named Bill Patten, and in 1945, wangled him a job at the American Embassy in Paris, where she gave frolicsome dinners for European, British and American social and diplomatic luminaries that had a serious underlying intent: to strengthen European-American ties. |
| “She really set herself this purpose quite seriously,” Ms. de Margerie said last week by phone from Paris, on the eve of her American book tour. “She wanted to help Americans understand the French, and vice versa. She thought of herself as a go-between helping two countries she loved, France and America.” | “She really set herself this purpose quite seriously,” Ms. de Margerie said last week by phone from Paris, on the eve of her American book tour. “She wanted to help Americans understand the French, and vice versa. She thought of herself as a go-between helping two countries she loved, France and America.” |
| Ms. de Margerie’s mother in-law, Hélène de Margerie, who attended many of Susan Mary’s Georgetown soirees when her husband, Emmanuel de Margerie, was France’s ambassador to the United States in the ’80s, told her that “going to Susan Mary’s in some ways was like going to an exam: you had to have your French-and-American facts at your fingertips, because you would be examined closely.” | Ms. de Margerie’s mother in-law, Hélène de Margerie, who attended many of Susan Mary’s Georgetown soirees when her husband, Emmanuel de Margerie, was France’s ambassador to the United States in the ’80s, told her that “going to Susan Mary’s in some ways was like going to an exam: you had to have your French-and-American facts at your fingertips, because you would be examined closely.” |
| Had Susan Mary been born later, Ms. de Margerie suggested, “She would have been either a journalist, a profession she would have very much liked to embrace, or a diplomat, which was in the family tradition. Yet in her own way, which was restricted by her class and her times, she managed to be both things. She exerted a kind of behind-the-scenes diplomacy, both in Paris, where she spent 15 years of her life — probably the happiest years — and in Washington.” | Had Susan Mary been born later, Ms. de Margerie suggested, “She would have been either a journalist, a profession she would have very much liked to embrace, or a diplomat, which was in the family tradition. Yet in her own way, which was restricted by her class and her times, she managed to be both things. She exerted a kind of behind-the-scenes diplomacy, both in Paris, where she spent 15 years of her life — probably the happiest years — and in Washington.” |
| In postwar Paris, when she was in her 20s and 30s, Susan Mary cut quite a dash. Nancy Mitford, the caustic British novelist and Francophile, adored her. That didn’t keep her from sending up Susan Mary in her novels as an over-earnest American (Mildred Jungfleisch) who talked too much about politics. | In postwar Paris, when she was in her 20s and 30s, Susan Mary cut quite a dash. Nancy Mitford, the caustic British novelist and Francophile, adored her. That didn’t keep her from sending up Susan Mary in her novels as an over-earnest American (Mildred Jungfleisch) who talked too much about politics. |
| Dior sent her New Look dresses to wear because she knew everybody and had, as Ms. de Margerie said, “a tiny waist and a fine bosom. The clothes could have been made for her she just wore them so well. She enjoyed it hugely. It’s this combination of glamour and utter seriousness that Nancy Mitford laughed at, and that I find irresistible.” | Dior sent her New Look dresses to wear because she knew everybody and had, as Ms. de Margerie said, “a tiny waist and a fine bosom. The clothes could have been made for her she just wore them so well. She enjoyed it hugely. It’s this combination of glamour and utter seriousness that Nancy Mitford laughed at, and that I find irresistible.” |
| Duff Cooper, the British ambassador to France (and the author of a biography of Talleyrand, the duplicitous politician famous for giving lavish state dinners) also found Susan Mary irresistible, though she was far from his only lover. They had a long, discreet affair, which Susan Mary’s husband either did not suspect, or did not mind too much. | Duff Cooper, the British ambassador to France (and the author of a biography of Talleyrand, the duplicitous politician famous for giving lavish state dinners) also found Susan Mary irresistible, though she was far from his only lover. They had a long, discreet affair, which Susan Mary’s husband either did not suspect, or did not mind too much. |
| “He’s one of my favorite characters, because of his gentleness, his sense of humor and his courage,” Ms. de Margerie said of Mr. Patten. | “He’s one of my favorite characters, because of his gentleness, his sense of humor and his courage,” Ms. de Margerie said of Mr. Patten. |
| Upon meeting Mr. Cooper, Susan Mary asked him to give her biographies of great men to read, so she could educate herself. Flatteringly, she asked him, “Is there a life of you?” | Upon meeting Mr. Cooper, Susan Mary asked him to give her biographies of great men to read, so she could educate herself. Flatteringly, she asked him, “Is there a life of you?” |
| “I adore that sentence,” Ms. de Margerie said. “It’s a very sexy sentence. It also shows that she was prepared to say completely outrageous things.” | “I adore that sentence,” Ms. de Margerie said. “It’s a very sexy sentence. It also shows that she was prepared to say completely outrageous things.” |
| Mr. Cooper died in 1954, and a few years later, Susan Mary took up with another British ambassador to France, Gladwyn Jebb. | Mr. Cooper died in 1954, and a few years later, Susan Mary took up with another British ambassador to France, Gladwyn Jebb. |
| She liked the British, Ms. de Margerie said. “She liked their way of speaking, their tongue-in-cheek attitude, their sense of humor — that was specially attractive to her.” | She liked the British, Ms. de Margerie said. “She liked their way of speaking, their tongue-in-cheek attitude, their sense of humor — that was specially attractive to her.” |
| Ms. de Margerie was given letters, thought destroyed, written by Susan Mary to Mr. Cooper, which his granddaughter Artemis (a friend of the author) allowed her to photocopy, and which fill this marvelous book (published by Viking) with Susan Mary’s buoyant but touchingly self-editing voice. | Ms. de Margerie was given letters, thought destroyed, written by Susan Mary to Mr. Cooper, which his granddaughter Artemis (a friend of the author) allowed her to photocopy, and which fill this marvelous book (published by Viking) with Susan Mary’s buoyant but touchingly self-editing voice. |
| Susan Mary liked “to see history on the boil,” Ms. Mitford observed; and when Mr. Patten died in 1960 of emphysema, his wife returned to the United States to watch history boil on her own turf. | Susan Mary liked “to see history on the boil,” Ms. Mitford observed; and when Mr. Patten died in 1960 of emphysema, his wife returned to the United States to watch history boil on her own turf. |
| Washington was not surprised that she married Joe Alsop so quickly after her husband’s death, Ms. de Margerie learned. What surprised Georgetown was that she had married him at all, as he was gay and had a difficult personality (showcased in the recent Broadway play by David Auburn, “The Columnist”). | Washington was not surprised that she married Joe Alsop so quickly after her husband’s death, Ms. de Margerie learned. What surprised Georgetown was that she had married him at all, as he was gay and had a difficult personality (showcased in the recent Broadway play by David Auburn, “The Columnist”). |
| Ms. de Margerie writes, “Both Joe and Susan Mary were far too realistic not to realize how beneficial the marriage would be. Joe would be provided with a family,” which was a “social advantage and a personal comfort,” she explained. “Susan Mary would have a new home, enter a political clan, and become one of Washington’s most sought-after hostesses.” | Ms. de Margerie writes, “Both Joe and Susan Mary were far too realistic not to realize how beneficial the marriage would be. Joe would be provided with a family,” which was a “social advantage and a personal comfort,” she explained. “Susan Mary would have a new home, enter a political clan, and become one of Washington’s most sought-after hostesses.” |
| For her, reaching across the aisle was instinctive, no matter what the relationship. She was a Democrat but voted her conscience, even if that meant voting for a Republican, as she did in 1976, voting for Gerald Ford, not Jimmy Carter — though she approved of many of the clever men in Mr. Carter’s administration and invited them to her parties. | For her, reaching across the aisle was instinctive, no matter what the relationship. She was a Democrat but voted her conscience, even if that meant voting for a Republican, as she did in 1976, voting for Gerald Ford, not Jimmy Carter — though she approved of many of the clever men in Mr. Carter’s administration and invited them to her parties. |
| When Henry Kissinger dropped by Mrs. Alsop’s house in 1977 to watch David Frost’s television interview with Richard Nixon, he got so angry hearing Nixon play down Mr. Kissinger’s role in foreign affairs that his hostess wrote to the former president afterward, urging him to make amends. Nixon quickly sent Susan Mary a letter in which he praised his erstwhile secretary of state as “the greatest diplomat of our times,” and asked her to deliver the message to Mr. Kissinger herself. | When Henry Kissinger dropped by Mrs. Alsop’s house in 1977 to watch David Frost’s television interview with Richard Nixon, he got so angry hearing Nixon play down Mr. Kissinger’s role in foreign affairs that his hostess wrote to the former president afterward, urging him to make amends. Nixon quickly sent Susan Mary a letter in which he praised his erstwhile secretary of state as “the greatest diplomat of our times,” and asked her to deliver the message to Mr. Kissinger herself. |
| “She knew people on both sides, and if they were interesting and bright and devoted to the common good, that was good enough for her,” Ms. de Margerie said. “There was no party hatred. The mere notion would have been very distasteful to her.” | “She knew people on both sides, and if they were interesting and bright and devoted to the common good, that was good enough for her,” Ms. de Margerie said. “There was no party hatred. The mere notion would have been very distasteful to her.” |
| “It’s interesting to see how well, and with what intelligence, a woman born and educated in the United States embraced a different culture,” the author said. “And she belonged to both continents, which is an added attraction. It’s nice to know that the tradition of American writers interested in France lives on, thanks to people like Susan Mary.” | “It’s interesting to see how well, and with what intelligence, a woman born and educated in the United States embraced a different culture,” the author said. “And she belonged to both continents, which is an added attraction. It’s nice to know that the tradition of American writers interested in France lives on, thanks to people like Susan Mary.” |
| The relationship between France and the United States has always been intense, she said, but the example of one American patriot whose life was shaped by her “love affair with France” is what motivated her to write this biography, she said. “It’s part of bridging the gap.” | The relationship between France and the United States has always been intense, she said, but the example of one American patriot whose life was shaped by her “love affair with France” is what motivated her to write this biography, she said. “It’s part of bridging the gap.” |
This article has been revised to reflect the following correction: | This article has been revised to reflect the following correction: |
| Correction: November 21, 2012 | |
An | An article last Sunday about the Washington hostess Susan Mary Alsop misidentified the family member who accompanied Katharine Graham to a party at the Alsop home that was also attended by President Kennedy. Her husband, Philip Graham, did so, not their son, Don. The article also referred incorrectly to the author Artemis Cooper, a friend of Mrs. Alsop’s biographer, Caroline de Margerie. She was the granddaughter of Duff Cooper, a British ambassador, not his daughter. |