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Simon Hoggart's week: Hunters round on Thatcher's 'swivel-eyed' sidekick Simon Hoggart's week: Hunters round on Thatcher's 'swivel-eyed' sidekick
(35 minutes later)
✒ The first name thrown up in the written press during the great paedophile hunt was the late Sir Peter Morrison, who used to be Margaret Thatcher's parliamentary private secretary. He died of booze and cigarettes at the age of 51, though looked 20 years older. His successor as MP for Chester, Gyles Brandreth, recorded a plump, pompous, stunningly smug man, and noted several quite broad hints about his predilections in the obituaries. People sort of knew, even then. He was exposed by my colleague Nick Davis some time later, and Channel 4 news produced some horrible new evidence this week.✒ The first name thrown up in the written press during the great paedophile hunt was the late Sir Peter Morrison, who used to be Margaret Thatcher's parliamentary private secretary. He died of booze and cigarettes at the age of 51, though looked 20 years older. His successor as MP for Chester, Gyles Brandreth, recorded a plump, pompous, stunningly smug man, and noted several quite broad hints about his predilections in the obituaries. People sort of knew, even then. He was exposed by my colleague Nick Davis some time later, and Channel 4 news produced some horrible new evidence this week.
He does seem to have infuriated those who knew him. Sir Michael Spicer, in his memoirs, records him making an "appalling" speech; he says he was a "disastrous PPS". Later Morrison says a delegation should call on John Major resign and replace him with – wait for this – Jonathan Aitken! So no political judgment either.He does seem to have infuriated those who knew him. Sir Michael Spicer, in his memoirs, records him making an "appalling" speech; he says he was a "disastrous PPS". Later Morrison says a delegation should call on John Major resign and replace him with – wait for this – Jonathan Aitken! So no political judgment either.
Ferdinand Mount worked with him in Downing Street, and in his autobiography, Cold Cream, calls him one of the "decidedly swivel-eyed Enragés".Ferdinand Mount worked with him in Downing Street, and in his autobiography, Cold Cream, calls him one of the "decidedly swivel-eyed Enragés".
But it was Alan Clark who really stuck the boot in. Morrison was in charge of Thatcher's re-election campaign in 1990. Clark sniffed the air and realised the PM was in serious danger. He called on Morrison and found him fast asleep. When he woke him up the man was "sozzled", and deeply complacent about the result. There wasn't any problem, he claimed. Clark swears at him. "Peter is useless, far worse than I thought," he reflects in his diaries.But it was Alan Clark who really stuck the boot in. Morrison was in charge of Thatcher's re-election campaign in 1990. Clark sniffed the air and realised the PM was in serious danger. He called on Morrison and found him fast asleep. When he woke him up the man was "sozzled", and deeply complacent about the result. There wasn't any problem, he claimed. Clark swears at him. "Peter is useless, far worse than I thought," he reflects in his diaries.
Thatcher ended up four votes short of the number she needed. Some may feel grateful. If Morrison had been less lethargic she would have easily got enough, quite probably have ploughed ahead with the poll tax, and lost the next election to Neil Kinnock.Thatcher ended up four votes short of the number she needed. Some may feel grateful. If Morrison had been less lethargic she would have easily got enough, quite probably have ploughed ahead with the poll tax, and lost the next election to Neil Kinnock.
So, no John Major, no Tony Blair, quite probably no war in Iraq. History really does turn on some very minor, almost forgotten events, sometimes involving very nasty people.So, no John Major, no Tony Blair, quite probably no war in Iraq. History really does turn on some very minor, almost forgotten events, sometimes involving very nasty people.
✒ I was sorry that we have lost Denis MacShane, the MP for Rotherham who was caught fiddling his expenses. Denis was, and is, I suppose, passionately pro-European, and much of the money went not on wine, women and song but on his work. Back in the days when some MPs thought my opinion on anything was worth influencing, I would get urgent-sounding calls from him. "Simon, I am at Berlin airport, just catching a flight to Rome to see Salvatore Farfalle. Now you'll have seen today's leading article in El País, and – this is the important bit – the argument is backed up by Pierre Cauchemar!"✒ I was sorry that we have lost Denis MacShane, the MP for Rotherham who was caught fiddling his expenses. Denis was, and is, I suppose, passionately pro-European, and much of the money went not on wine, women and song but on his work. Back in the days when some MPs thought my opinion on anything was worth influencing, I would get urgent-sounding calls from him. "Simon, I am at Berlin airport, just catching a flight to Rome to see Salvatore Farfalle. Now you'll have seen today's leading article in El País, and – this is the important bit – the argument is backed up by Pierre Cauchemar!"
"Sorry, Denis, who is Pierre Cauchemar?""Sorry, Denis, who is Pierre Cauchemar?"
"The Belgian shadow environment minister, of course. Do try to keep up.""The Belgian shadow environment minister, of course. Do try to keep up."
✒ In his party conference speech David Cameron said it was time to "spread privilege". Fortnum & Mason, not always the most nimble retailer, have stepped in with something called "privilege spread", made from plums, naturally, steeped in claret. They kindly sent me a jar. Spooned on top of white chocolate ice cream it is surprisingly delicious. I'm not being paid to say this, but I'm keeping the jam.✒ In his party conference speech David Cameron said it was time to "spread privilege". Fortnum & Mason, not always the most nimble retailer, have stepped in with something called "privilege spread", made from plums, naturally, steeped in claret. They kindly sent me a jar. Spooned on top of white chocolate ice cream it is surprisingly delicious. I'm not being paid to say this, but I'm keeping the jam.
✒ Last week I wrote about Alistair Cooke, and John Reynolds, who used to be the BBC boss in North America, emailed about a fine dinner he hosted for Cooke's 80th birthday. It was 1988. BBC chairman Marmaduke Hussey flew over from Britain, Leonard Bernstein and James Galway were guests and played together, and there was even a graceful three-minute video tribute recorded in the White House by President Ronald Reagan. As John says, "only in America".✒ Last week I wrote about Alistair Cooke, and John Reynolds, who used to be the BBC boss in North America, emailed about a fine dinner he hosted for Cooke's 80th birthday. It was 1988. BBC chairman Marmaduke Hussey flew over from Britain, Leonard Bernstein and James Galway were guests and played together, and there was even a graceful three-minute video tribute recorded in the White House by President Ronald Reagan. As John says, "only in America".
A few weeks later a parcel came for Cooke from Broadcasting House. It turned out to be a bronze model of one of the old coffin-shaped microphones, weighing several kilos. Cooke looked at it and sighed. "The BBC has no memory any more," he said. "They've already sent me two of these." Only at the BBC.A few weeks later a parcel came for Cooke from Broadcasting House. It turned out to be a bronze model of one of the old coffin-shaped microphones, weighing several kilos. Cooke looked at it and sighed. "The BBC has no memory any more," he said. "They've already sent me two of these." Only at the BBC.
✒ Thanks for your simple but tasty recipes, mainly for guys in a hurry. I am grateful. Here's one I often make, adapted from a Rick Stein. Get a wok (a frying pan will do) and put in, say, 3oz of butter, a half pint or so of fish or vegetable stock, and a generous slug of a spirit such as Scotch or Pernod. Boil it all up so the bitterness of the alcohol evaporates.✒ Thanks for your simple but tasty recipes, mainly for guys in a hurry. I am grateful. Here's one I often make, adapted from a Rick Stein. Get a wok (a frying pan will do) and put in, say, 3oz of butter, a half pint or so of fish or vegetable stock, and a generous slug of a spirit such as Scotch or Pernod. Boil it all up so the bitterness of the alcohol evaporates.
Then add multicoloured chopped vegetables – red, yellow, orange peppers, mushrooms, mangetout, fennel, sliced leeks – anything, really, provided it looks nice. Cook with the lid on till they're almost done but still crunchy. Then add on top 1-inch chunks of colourful fish – cod or pollock, say, salmon and yellow smoked haddock. The fish will take only a minute or so to cook in the heat. Serve with new potatoes.Then add multicoloured chopped vegetables – red, yellow, orange peppers, mushrooms, mangetout, fennel, sliced leeks – anything, really, provided it looks nice. Cook with the lid on till they're almost done but still crunchy. Then add on top 1-inch chunks of colourful fish – cod or pollock, say, salmon and yellow smoked haddock. The fish will take only a minute or so to cook in the heat. Serve with new potatoes.
The buttery, boozy sauce is delicious, and it even improves in the fridge if there is any left over, which there usually isn't.The buttery, boozy sauce is delicious, and it even improves in the fridge if there is any left over, which there usually isn't.
✒ Majestically pointless labelling: John Rees-Jones acquired a scarf at Marks and Spencer helpfully marked "one size fits all". Nick Fisher bought ice cube bags at Sainsbury's and was relieved to find they were "freezer-safe". David Falcon booked a flight with easyJet. The confirmation came with an information sheet: "We recommend that you leave enough time to travel to the airport," it said. Eh? Have they had complaints? "You never told us we needed time to get to the airport! We assumed we could just leave home five minutes before the flight took off …" Possibly so.✒ Majestically pointless labelling: John Rees-Jones acquired a scarf at Marks and Spencer helpfully marked "one size fits all". Nick Fisher bought ice cube bags at Sainsbury's and was relieved to find they were "freezer-safe". David Falcon booked a flight with easyJet. The confirmation came with an information sheet: "We recommend that you leave enough time to travel to the airport," it said. Eh? Have they had complaints? "You never told us we needed time to get to the airport! We assumed we could just leave home five minutes before the flight took off …" Possibly so.
Simon Hoggart's book House of Fun, 20 Years of Parliamentary Sketches, is published by Guardian books and is available from the Guardian bookshop for £9.99, a £5 reduction on the cover price. Signed copies also available. Simon Hoggart's book House of Fun, 20 Years of Parliamentary Sketches, is published by Guardian books and is available from the Guardian bookshop for £9.99, a £5 reduction on the cover price. Signed copies also available.