Beyoncé leads the Democrat celebrities as they celebrate Obama's victory
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Version 0 of 1. Lost in Showbiz is not a fan of election weeks. When the boss of the world is being chosen, US news networks take a brief respite from 24-hour coverage of Twilight Breaking Dawn to return, miserably, to breaking news. The closest we got to seeing a celebrity was downing too many shots of "blue state" punch in our election drinking game and briefly mistaking Ann Romney for Monster-era Charlize Theron. But within minutes of Ohio being declared, attention turned back to vaguely famous people and how they felt about Obama's re-election. Regular viewers of Fox News will be unsurprised to hear that Hollywood liberals were all over the lamestream media crowing about Obama's victory. Beyoncé drew a "Take that Mitches" placard. Girls star Lena Dunham, who had spent the final days of the campaign helping to get out the elusive hipster vote, Instagrammed the little black dress she went to the polls in. "Send us yours!" responded Huff Po. The results weren't pretty. But it was Naya Rivera, the cheerleader from Glee, who most poignantly summed up this historic second term best, tweeting: "OBAMA!!!! A BOSS always wins. #ShittedOn'Em." Shitted On 'Em – this year's Yes We Can. Of course, at Lost in Showbiz, there's nothing we like more than a sore loser. Especially delicious was Donald Trump, calling for a march on the White House and a revolution in the US, and conservative rocker Ted Nugent, who called voters "soulless fools" and "pimps whores & welfare brats". But we most delighted in Stacey Dash, best "known" as Cher's friend Dionne in 90s teen movie Clueless, whose three-page pdf to US gossip website TMZ made the case not only for Mitt Romney, but for rich people in a tight spot everywhere. She began: "President Obama will always be remembered as one of the greatest leaders this United States of America has ever known." However, she was hamstrung by her own "considerable income" and persuaded by "the simplicity of [Romney's] plan to lower taxes". Dash's confusing diatribe suggested she voted for Romney to subvert expectations that just because she's an African American single mother who believes in progressive social politics and thinks Obama is a great leader, she would automatically vote for him as president. In an attempt to heal the wounds of divisive party politics, Dash at least ended with a sentiment that will surely unite both sides of the aisle: "Ultimately, I know that what Stacey Dash thinks about who will be the next president of the United States isn't that important in the scheme of things." It sure ain't, Mitches. It was a night not just for blue states but blue movies, as male porn stars in California came to terms with the passing of Measure B, which will force them to wear condoms on set. James Deen, an adult movie star and the most vocal opponent of the law, had already got the news media into a fluster before the election. American network ABC was hot under the collar, describing his "curly brown hair" and "soft blue eyes" while GQ called him "the well-hung boy next door". Good to see there's still thorough research being done in journalism. Deen was in a philosophical mood after the vote, but he did raise one of the consequences of the law, perhaps unforeseen by voters. "I am not the correct person to ask exactly what the law says. But the only way that it can be enforced is if somebody actually does watch porn. Somebody needs to sit there and either review all the content that's being shot, or they need to sit on set and verify that people are actually adhering to this measure ... That is, as far as I understand, a $52,000-a-year job." There you go, Romney, you could get a new position in government after all. |