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| Version 0 | Version 1 |
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| Five reasons why West Midlands accents are great | Five reasons why West Midlands accents are great |
| (5 months later) | |
| Once again, people up and down the land are laughing at those of us who have a West Midlands accent, this time because Birmingham City Council's automated phone line does not understand the curdled vowel sounds of its own kind. Enough! Let a proud Black Countryman explain why the Midlands accent is a blessing … | Once again, people up and down the land are laughing at those of us who have a West Midlands accent, this time because Birmingham City Council's automated phone line does not understand the curdled vowel sounds of its own kind. Enough! Let a proud Black Countryman explain why the Midlands accent is a blessing … |
| People automatically assume you are stupid | People automatically assume you are stupid |
| The sing-song style of the Brummie has become synonymous with slack-jawed stupidity and a certain slowness of wit. For those West Midlanders who pride ourselves on our intelligence and speed of humour, the simple application of our native accent gives us an immediate advantage over other people of similar intelligence, because when we say something smart, people look at us in admiring amazement, as if witnessing a chimp that can paint attractive water colours. | The sing-song style of the Brummie has become synonymous with slack-jawed stupidity and a certain slowness of wit. For those West Midlanders who pride ourselves on our intelligence and speed of humour, the simple application of our native accent gives us an immediate advantage over other people of similar intelligence, because when we say something smart, people look at us in admiring amazement, as if witnessing a chimp that can paint attractive water colours. |
| It's useful in flushing out idiocy in others | It's useful in flushing out idiocy in others |
| A quick rule of thumb – if you ask someone with a West Midlands accent where they are from, and they tell you that they are from Birmingham or Wolverhampton, and your immediate reaction is to repeat the place name back to that person in a cod-Lenny Henry accent, you have just revealed yourself to be an utter buffoon. "BURRRMEEENGHURRRM!" Just like that. | A quick rule of thumb – if you ask someone with a West Midlands accent where they are from, and they tell you that they are from Birmingham or Wolverhampton, and your immediate reaction is to repeat the place name back to that person in a cod-Lenny Henry accent, you have just revealed yourself to be an utter buffoon. "BURRRMEEENGHURRRM!" Just like that. |
| It's attractive to women of a certain age | It's attractive to women of a certain age |
| And there's one man you can thank for this: Adrian Chiles, whose peculiar brand of hangdog, browbeaten masculinity seemed to strike a chord among women over 35 – maybe it's to do with the recession and women downsizing their romantic aspirations or something. Well, I have to tell you, ladies, that I am all for that. | And there's one man you can thank for this: Adrian Chiles, whose peculiar brand of hangdog, browbeaten masculinity seemed to strike a chord among women over 35 – maybe it's to do with the recession and women downsizing their romantic aspirations or something. Well, I have to tell you, ladies, that I am all for that. |
| It is delightfully suited to the gastronomical delicacies of the area | It is delightfully suited to the gastronomical delicacies of the area |
| Adopt your best Black Country burr (which won't be as good as mine, but try it anyway) and let the following terms roll off your tongue: faggots and peas. Pint of Banks's. Tray of chips and gravy. Lamb tikka balti with keema naan. Fillbelly puddin'. It's like Nigella crossed with Ozzy Osbourne! | Adopt your best Black Country burr (which won't be as good as mine, but try it anyway) and let the following terms roll off your tongue: faggots and peas. Pint of Banks's. Tray of chips and gravy. Lamb tikka balti with keema naan. Fillbelly puddin'. It's like Nigella crossed with Ozzy Osbourne! |
| You are automatically mates with Noddy Holder should you ever actually meet him | You are automatically mates with Noddy Holder should you ever actually meet him |
| And you simply cannot put a price on that. | And you simply cannot put a price on that. |
| Twitter.com/TweetCashmore | Twitter.com/TweetCashmore |
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