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| The 2012 Presidential Campaign Awards | The 2012 Presidential Campaign Awards |
| (about 1 month later) | |
| Worst gaffe | Worst gaffe |
| Hard to say, since this was the race in which the word lost all meaning: for weeks at a time, campaigning consisted solely of claiming the other side had gaffed. Was Obama's "you didn't build that" a gaffe, when context made it obvious he wasn't confessing to closet socialism? (See also Romney's "I like being able to fire people", which wasn't what it seemed.) | Hard to say, since this was the race in which the word lost all meaning: for weeks at a time, campaigning consisted solely of claiming the other side had gaffed. Was Obama's "you didn't build that" a gaffe, when context made it obvious he wasn't confessing to closet socialism? (See also Romney's "I like being able to fire people", which wasn't what it seemed.) |
| Conversely, was the notorious "47%" speech a gaffe, since Romney meant every word, presumably regretting only that it was made public? | Conversely, was the notorious "47%" speech a gaffe, since Romney meant every word, presumably regretting only that it was made public? |
| What about his aide's "Etch-a-sketch" remark, which merely acknowledged what everyone knew? Or random word-streams emitted from the mouth of Joe Biden (above)? | What about his aide's "Etch-a-sketch" remark, which merely acknowledged what everyone knew? Or random word-streams emitted from the mouth of Joe Biden (above)? |
| We need a narrower definition of "gaffe" – and so the award goes to Romney, for offering Rick Perry, back in December last year, a "$10,000 bet" about healthcare: a hugely revealing, unforced error that helped define him, early on, as the plutocrat's plutocrat. Something for Romney to ponder, if he loses, as he stands dumbfounded in his car elevator, repeatedly pushing the up and down buttons, wondering where he went wrong. | We need a narrower definition of "gaffe" – and so the award goes to Romney, for offering Rick Perry, back in December last year, a "$10,000 bet" about healthcare: a hugely revealing, unforced error that helped define him, early on, as the plutocrat's plutocrat. Something for Romney to ponder, if he loses, as he stands dumbfounded in his car elevator, repeatedly pushing the up and down buttons, wondering where he went wrong. |
| Most unexpected hate figure | Most unexpected hate figure |
| No contest: it was nerdy New York Times statistician Nate Silver, whose implacable refusal to stop predicting an Obama win drove Republicans, and less numerate pundits, into a frenzy. How, they demanded, could his computer model keep showing such good news for the Democrats when old hands, like NBC's Joe Scarborough – simply by sniffing the air and studying their guts – knew that the race was "tight as a tick"? This was the election of "unskewed" polls (translation: polls revised retroactively in order to favour your chosen candidate). And you can expect the "war on math" to get worse: as pollsters and campaigners get ever more sophisticated in their data-collection, commentators paid to speculate about the horse-race see their livelihoods at risk. | No contest: it was nerdy New York Times statistician Nate Silver, whose implacable refusal to stop predicting an Obama win drove Republicans, and less numerate pundits, into a frenzy. How, they demanded, could his computer model keep showing such good news for the Democrats when old hands, like NBC's Joe Scarborough – simply by sniffing the air and studying their guts – knew that the race was "tight as a tick"? This was the election of "unskewed" polls (translation: polls revised retroactively in order to favour your chosen candidate). And you can expect the "war on math" to get worse: as pollsters and campaigners get ever more sophisticated in their data-collection, commentators paid to speculate about the horse-race see their livelihoods at risk. |
| Word least likely to be mentioned ever again by a Republican talking-head after the election, regardless of who wins | Word least likely to be mentioned ever again by a Republican talking-head after the election, regardless of who wins |
| "Benghazi". | "Benghazi". |
| Most alarmist prediction about what will happen if Obama is re-elected | Most alarmist prediction about what will happen if Obama is re-elected |
| These are all roughly the same: the dictatorship he'll usher in – aided, in many accounts, by a suddenly highly effective United Nations – will end democracy as we know it, making America a "vassal state to a globalist entity" and confiscating everybody's guns. (It's never clear how this last bit would work in practice, since the gun owners in question would presumably be armed.) According to Chuck Norris (below) and his wife Gena, in a YouTube video apparently recorded in his martial-arts studio, it means "socialism or something much worse", and "a thousand years of darkness". But the prize goes to Dinesh D'Souza, whose documentary Obama's America: 2016 explains that the president wants to send US wealth, and nukes, to the developing world, to win his deceased father's approval and placate Hawaiian nationalists. Or something. It doesn't make sense, but then of course it doesn't: Kenyan Islamo-communist logic is designed to be confusing. Nate Silver uses it, too! | These are all roughly the same: the dictatorship he'll usher in – aided, in many accounts, by a suddenly highly effective United Nations – will end democracy as we know it, making America a "vassal state to a globalist entity" and confiscating everybody's guns. (It's never clear how this last bit would work in practice, since the gun owners in question would presumably be armed.) According to Chuck Norris (below) and his wife Gena, in a YouTube video apparently recorded in his martial-arts studio, it means "socialism or something much worse", and "a thousand years of darkness". But the prize goes to Dinesh D'Souza, whose documentary Obama's America: 2016 explains that the president wants to send US wealth, and nukes, to the developing world, to win his deceased father's approval and placate Hawaiian nationalists. Or something. It doesn't make sense, but then of course it doesn't: Kenyan Islamo-communist logic is designed to be confusing. Nate Silver uses it, too! |
| Worst public-speaking performance by a candidate or one of his surrogates | Worst public-speaking performance by a candidate or one of his surrogates |
| A crowded field, given Rick Perry's splendid primary performance – "Oops!" the Texas governor declared, when he realised he couldn't recall his own policies – and Clint Eastwood's surreal double-act with an empty chair on stage at the Republican convention. But no surprise that the honour goes to Obama's first-debate sleepwalking, an inexplicably rubbish display compounded by the instantaneous meltdowns suffered by several influential pundits. Andrew Sullivan, in the night's most memorable freak-out, accused the president of "self-immolating", calling the debate a "rolling calamity" and a "disaster" – and thereby disregarding Karl Rove's First Rule of Partisan Punditry: your candidate won. Sure, in reality, your candidate lost. But that doesn't matter: your candidate won. | A crowded field, given Rick Perry's splendid primary performance – "Oops!" the Texas governor declared, when he realised he couldn't recall his own policies – and Clint Eastwood's surreal double-act with an empty chair on stage at the Republican convention. But no surprise that the honour goes to Obama's first-debate sleepwalking, an inexplicably rubbish display compounded by the instantaneous meltdowns suffered by several influential pundits. Andrew Sullivan, in the night's most memorable freak-out, accused the president of "self-immolating", calling the debate a "rolling calamity" and a "disaster" – and thereby disregarding Karl Rove's First Rule of Partisan Punditry: your candidate won. Sure, in reality, your candidate lost. But that doesn't matter: your candidate won. |
| Andy Warhol award for the person made briefly world-famous during the campaign with the least justification | Andy Warhol award for the person made briefly world-famous during the campaign with the least justification |
| Republican primary candidate Herman Cain. But only because attention-seeking birther conspiracist and hair innovator Donald Trump was, for inexplicable reasons, already world-famous. The two should now establish a combined pizza parlour/real estate business in a very small town in a remote part of Wisconsin, and never seek the media spotlight again. Rudy Giuliani may wish to consider joining them. | Republican primary candidate Herman Cain. But only because attention-seeking birther conspiracist and hair innovator Donald Trump was, for inexplicable reasons, already world-famous. The two should now establish a combined pizza parlour/real estate business in a very small town in a remote part of Wisconsin, and never seek the media spotlight again. Rudy Giuliani may wish to consider joining them. |
| Biggest "game-changer"/ "October Surprise" | Biggest "game-changer"/ "October Surprise" |
| Not awarded: the truth is that, despite many false alarms, there wasn't one. (Remember Matt Drudge's supposedly shocking video of Obama's "other race speech"? Neither does anyone else.) Here's what happened instead: the two campaigns and their super-PAC backers spent more than $1.8bn; avoided the biggest issues; focused on trading insults; tailored their messages for the benefit of a few undecided voters in Ohio; and made sure their candidates were never subjected to tough interviews. This went on for months on end, until Ohio, the nation and the world were thoroughly disillusioned and annoyed. Great job, everyone! | Not awarded: the truth is that, despite many false alarms, there wasn't one. (Remember Matt Drudge's supposedly shocking video of Obama's "other race speech"? Neither does anyone else.) Here's what happened instead: the two campaigns and their super-PAC backers spent more than $1.8bn; avoided the biggest issues; focused on trading insults; tailored their messages for the benefit of a few undecided voters in Ohio; and made sure their candidates were never subjected to tough interviews. This went on for months on end, until Ohio, the nation and the world were thoroughly disillusioned and annoyed. Great job, everyone! |
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