How to be funny on Twitter – Austin Mitchell take note

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/oct/30/how-funny-twitter-austin-mitchell

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"Shut up Menschkin. A good wife doesn't disagree with her master in public and a good little girl doesn't lie about why she quit politics," tweeted Labour MP Austin Mitchell early on Monday, creating a bit of a Twitter kerfuffle.

It's not been a good few weeks for Mitchells in the news, and I can't help but think we're only moments away from David Mitchell confessing that he throws puppies on huge bonfires for fun. Before that happens, here's a quick guide to being funny on Twitter, while avoiding all those pesky pitfalls.

1. Remember to put a joke in

This is fairly crucial. Austin proclaimed, "I'm surprised that people have taken it so negatively. What happened to humour?" Your forgot to put it in the tweet, pal! Just saying a sexist thing isn't going to get anyone on board of your roflcopter. You're sharing the same platform as Steve Martin, for goodness sake. Up your game.

Here's a handy hint: if your joke is not obvious, perhaps flag it up with the addition of a winking smiley emoticon, or end your tweet with the letters LOL. It's not necessary for you to know what this stands for except, "I struggle to communicate mirth" eg, "I really think this coalition is doing a great job for the most vulnerable in society! LOL ;P"

2. A quick and easy way to be funny on Twitter is to comment on large shared events

To get the most out of this technique, merge events to create a humorous juxtaposition. For example, perhaps suggest that the Queen looks so miserable at the Olympics' opening ceremony because she is waiting for Gazza to show up with some chicken and beer. After all, it's better to be totally unoriginal than to be an unapologetic sexist buffoon.

3. Be a famous comedian. If you are a famous comedian on Twitter you have no obligation to be funny

4. Retweet or tweet unlikely things from/to famous individuals

David Cameron is an excellent person to gently troll for a chuckle or two. You can make these topical/satirical or not. Remember: making fun of Cameron is OK because he is a millionaire white man who is the prime minister, you might call it "punching upwards". Making a "joke" that exposes your deep-rooted prejudices about disabled people/women/gay people/ethnic minorities isn't necessarily OK because those groups of people still face real struggles in achieving social equality. You might call making fun of them "bullying", "regressive" or "idiotic".

5. If a few hundred people take issue with your "joke", perhaps you should reassess it

It might be that you made a mistake. Follow the example set by Newsroom actor Alison Pill when she accidentally tweeted a private photo of herself topless to all her followers. Delete the offending tweet, acknowledge it happened, apologise and move on with as much dignity as you can. After all, you may have just flashed everybody your unsightly misogyny/racism/homophobia, and that leaves much more of a nasty stain on the internet.