Monkey goes to... the Daily Mirror's Pride of Britain awards

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/mediamonkeyblog/2012/oct/30/pride-of-britain-awards

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Financial solutions

It was star-tastic at Monday night's Daily Mirror Pride of Britain awards, which makes seating arrangements especially difficult for the paper's weekday editor and founder of the awards, Peter Willis. There were royals, country leaders and more Olympians than you could fill a stadium with. Nightmare. Should Prince Charles be seated closer to the stage than David Cameron? Where should Jon Bon Jovi be seated? If Mo Farah was on a top table, should Bradley Wiggins also be seated just inches away from presenter Carole Vorderman? And what about Tom Daley, Rebecca Adlington or Nicola Adams? They were seated three tables from the stage (the same level as Cameron). Then there was Ed Milliband and a slew of other Labour politicians, not to mention The X Factor contestants and judges and the Spice Girls. And there was favourites Rolf Harris and Stephen Hawking, sitting beside Peter Sissons. Monkey's got the answer! If in doubt, leave them all out and give your top table to the real star of the night – Trinity Mirror's group finance director, Vijay Vaghela. Which is exactly what happened.

Mo problems

There was no doubt that the awards event, launched by Willis – then the Mirror's features editor – in 1998 after an awayday, is the paper's biggest branding opportunity of the year. But after 14 years and a promotion to the weekday editing chair Willis is as hands-on as ever, with insiders saying he was working the phones until the last minute to land as many celebs as possible. Farah wasn't in the bag until 4.30pm on Monday – Willis apparently persuaded him to change his flight to the US and the organisers were fretting even at 9pm about whether he would show. "He hasn't left his house yet," said one insider on the night. Nerve shredder.

Foxy attitude

There are those who might say that Cameron's policies have left UK consumers economically living on a prayer, but Monkey was left stunned after spotting the prime minister chatting with Bon Jovi. Also sitting with Cameron were teen Paralympic swimming sensation Ellie Simmonds, Bruce Forsyth, culture secretary Maria Miller – and new Trinity Mirror chief executive Simon Fox. Who says being a newspaper proprietor ain't like it used to be, Simon?

Carr clash

Between the tears and heart-rending stories there were plenty of laughs – and none more so from 14-year-old cerebal palsy sufferer Jack Carroll, who gave comedian Jimmy Carr a run for his money. Carroll, who has his own repertoire of jokes, is already a YouTube hit with his cheeky one-liners so when the deadpan comic Carr arrived at his home to tell him he was going to the awards and joshed with his mother ("Oh, I haven't seen you since..." said Carr), there was only going to be one winner. "What's this, a paternity test?" Carroll quipped when Carr handed him the over-sized golden envelope with his awards invite. Later, on stage to receive his award, Carroll was the only one of the night to get applause for using the S-word. "Yes, I am the only one in the country who hasn't met Jimmy Savile," he told Vorderman with a cheeky grin.

Armstrong lanced

Wiggins was quizzed by Vorderman about the doping scandal that has engulfed shamed seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong. Quicker than you could say "loved you lounging in the golden throne at the Olympics, Wiggo", he shot back: "The sport has taken a bit of a hit in the last few weeks. Mine [Tour de France win] isn't built on sand and I've won more tours than Lance, so that's brilliant."