If prisoners could vote it would probably be Conservative

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/oct/29/prisoners-vote-conservative

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One of these days, somebody is going to have to pass David Cameron a sick bag; for surely, it is only a matter of time before the government caves in to the European court of human rights and gives the vote to prisoners, a move the prime minister has declared, will cause him to vomit.

Leaving aside the rights and wrongs of bringing suffrage to convicts, how will those behind bars cast their votes when the day comes? The current prison population stands at around 87,000, more than enough to swing the vote in one of our cities. But if they voted <em>en masse</em>, (hypothetical, I know) would the shift be to the left, or right? During the 16 years or so, I spent behind bars, I engaged in many a political debate with my fellow travellers and I have no hesitation in saying that Cameron is missing a trick; for the vast majority I exchanged political views with were dyed-in-the-wool conservatives, especially the many London criminals I came across who were also fervent royalists to boot.

Not that political debates exactly raged across the wings and landings I trod. Like most of the public, the vast majority of prisoners I met had little interest in the political system, even though it governed their lives in the slammer. I wish I had a tenner for every prisoner who told me "I am not interested in politics." To which I would reply: "You should be, because politics are interested in you."

If people tend to vote according to the newspaper they read then, again, the runes point towards the right; for the Sun was the paper of choice for the majority I met inside. And of the broadsheets, the Telegraph and Times out-circulated the Guardian in every jail that held me. Many Sun readers, if challenged about their chosen rag, would say they only read it for the sport (much the same as some of the people on my council estate, who I know well enough to question about their choice of daily paper, when we meet in the newsagents).

I remember being on remand in Brixton in the early 90s. We were "slopping out" (emptying our piss pots) for the last time in the day. We used the few minutes to converse and exchange necessities, tobacco, Rizlas, tea bags and the like. A young south-London kid came to my door and asked if I had a "linen" (newspaper) he could borrow? He was a good-mannered kid, who I had exchanged pleasantries with over the weeks and I told him I took the Guardian, but there were six or seven people "on it" (reading it, after me) but that he was welcome to be added to the list. "Oh, I don't want the Guardian," he said, "It's too posh, I was hoping for the Sun."

I immediately fired off a salvo of reasons why he shouldn't wipe his arse with the Murdoch organ, never mind read it: it was anti-ethnic minorities (he was black) anti-working class (despite it's purporting to be written for that group) and, above all – for the purposes of our discussion – anti-prisoner. I reminded him the paper had described the Strangeways prison rioters in April, 1990 as "scum" and a leader column had urged the government to send troops in to quell the protest. The same protest that ended slopping out and brought a host of changes that improved the lot of prisoners. The lad listened to my outburst in silence. Then shrugged his shoulders and said: "I just wanted to catch up on the football." He could have added that he didn't come to my door for a political diatribe but, as I say, he was a polite kid.

So there you have it. The world will not slip off its axis if we allow prisoners to tick a box when elections come around. In the first instance, I suspect the novelty value will see a higher than usual turnout. But then apathy and general disenchantment with our political masters will win the day and convicts, like the majority of those outside the prison walls, will vote with their feet.