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| Erasmus, Europe's student exchange scheme, is an unofficial matchmaker | Erasmus, Europe's student exchange scheme, is an unofficial matchmaker |
| (8 days later) | |
| Margit Wunsch, 25, from Berlin, Germany, studying for a PhD in history | Margit Wunsch, 25, from Berlin, Germany, studying for a PhD in history |
| Mathias Gaarmann, 26, from Copenhagen, Denmark, studying for master's in Germany and European studies | Mathias Gaarmann, 26, from Copenhagen, Denmark, studying for master's in Germany and European studies |
| "We've just got back together after two and a half weeks apart. That's normal for us. Mostly we see each other for a long weekend. But sometimes we stay together for longer. After all, we can write our work anywhere. We just go to the library in Copenhagen or Berlin. As we're at university, we can be more flexible than if we were in jobs. | "We've just got back together after two and a half weeks apart. That's normal for us. Mostly we see each other for a long weekend. But sometimes we stay together for longer. After all, we can write our work anywhere. We just go to the library in Copenhagen or Berlin. As we're at university, we can be more flexible than if we were in jobs. |
| We met in August 2011 at an engagement party of mutual friends, who by the way had a transatlantic relationship – Denmark-US – going on before they got engaged. We stayed in contact and then met up against in Berlin and have been a couple ever since. So we have never lived together in one place. But in our circle of friends, no one is surprised that there are so many long-distance relationships. | We met in August 2011 at an engagement party of mutual friends, who by the way had a transatlantic relationship – Denmark-US – going on before they got engaged. We stayed in contact and then met up against in Berlin and have been a couple ever since. So we have never lived together in one place. But in our circle of friends, no one is surprised that there are so many long-distance relationships. |
| It's natural that people spend time studying abroad so this kind of thing happens. It's also great that through a long-distance relationship, you get to know another culture. You have to look on the positive side. | It's natural that people spend time studying abroad so this kind of thing happens. It's also great that through a long-distance relationship, you get to know another culture. You have to look on the positive side. |
| At the start we spoke English together, but now we speak German. That was a conscious decision, because Mathias can speak German. I've no idea what language we would have a row in, but that hasn't happened yet. Somehow we find an expression for what we want to say, even though it might take longer. But there haven't been any big cultural differences, rather smaller things, like the German tendency to eat hot meals at midday and cold suppers, while in Denmark it's vice versa. | At the start we spoke English together, but now we speak German. That was a conscious decision, because Mathias can speak German. I've no idea what language we would have a row in, but that hasn't happened yet. Somehow we find an expression for what we want to say, even though it might take longer. But there haven't been any big cultural differences, rather smaller things, like the German tendency to eat hot meals at midday and cold suppers, while in Denmark it's vice versa. |
| We speak to each other every day, mostly on Skype, or we call each other when we're travelling. We even write letters, not whole pages but just a short greeting. It's nice when you get home in the evening and there's something other than bills in the letterbox. | We speak to each other every day, mostly on Skype, or we call each other when we're travelling. We even write letters, not whole pages but just a short greeting. It's nice when you get home in the evening and there's something other than bills in the letterbox. |
| Of course we love the fact that you get cheap flights. If you look early enough you can always get good offers. So our lives are always planned one or two months in advance. We have to set priorities though: if the relationship is important enough, you'll find the money for it. Whenever we separate we know when we're seeing each other again. That way, it's not so bad saying goodbye. | Of course we love the fact that you get cheap flights. If you look early enough you can always get good offers. So our lives are always planned one or two months in advance. We have to set priorities though: if the relationship is important enough, you'll find the money for it. Whenever we separate we know when we're seeing each other again. That way, it's not so bad saying goodbye. |
| A long-distance relationship does have its advantages – when you are alone, your work is a lot more disciplined and when you do see each other you tend to spend much more time together. But if we lived together, we could probably concentrate on our work just as well. We both finish our studies this year, which is a kind of watershed – we can reorientate ourselves a little. We are planning to move into together in Berlin. We can think about Copenhagen at a later stage." | A long-distance relationship does have its advantages – when you are alone, your work is a lot more disciplined and when you do see each other you tend to spend much more time together. But if we lived together, we could probably concentrate on our work just as well. We both finish our studies this year, which is a kind of watershed – we can reorientate ourselves a little. We are planning to move into together in Berlin. We can think about Copenhagen at a later stage." |
| Interview by Anne-Caroline Ischinger | Interview by Anne-Caroline Ischinger |
| Clelia Bettini, 35, from Pisa, Italy, a professor of Italian at the University of Coimbra, Portugal | Clelia Bettini, 35, from Pisa, Italy, a professor of Italian at the University of Coimbra, Portugal |
| Ricardo Alves, 36, from Bragança, Portugal, a telecommunications engineer | Ricardo Alves, 36, from Bragança, Portugal, a telecommunications engineer |
| "I met Ricardo during his Erasmus year in Pisa. I was in my first year at university, studying Portuguese language and literature, and we had mutual friends. At the time, I lived with my family, while he lodged with other students. I envied their lifestyle, which was a lot more open, fun and messy. Their house became like a port of call and they would travel far and wide in Italy in the company of other young foreigners to see the sights and get to know the country better. | "I met Ricardo during his Erasmus year in Pisa. I was in my first year at university, studying Portuguese language and literature, and we had mutual friends. At the time, I lived with my family, while he lodged with other students. I envied their lifestyle, which was a lot more open, fun and messy. Their house became like a port of call and they would travel far and wide in Italy in the company of other young foreigners to see the sights and get to know the country better. |
| We liked each other straight away – I loved the fact that he came from Portugal, a country that fascinates me. Our cultural differences brought extra value to our relationship – even though he didn't understand how we could eat so much pasta at the expense of meat and fish, which he believed to be fundamental to a balanced diet. | We liked each other straight away – I loved the fact that he came from Portugal, a country that fascinates me. Our cultural differences brought extra value to our relationship – even though he didn't understand how we could eat so much pasta at the expense of meat and fish, which he believed to be fundamental to a balanced diet. |
| After Ricardo left Pisa, I decided to do an Erasmus year in Lisbon. I wanted to make the most of my knowledge of the language and have a fulfilling experience abroad – but I can't deny that my plan was also to be near him. I lived with other female students. Ricardo and I were in a relationship, but we also led our own separate lives. Thanks to my fluency in the language and my similar appearance, I had a very fulfilling year as a Portuguese person among Portuguese people. | After Ricardo left Pisa, I decided to do an Erasmus year in Lisbon. I wanted to make the most of my knowledge of the language and have a fulfilling experience abroad – but I can't deny that my plan was also to be near him. I lived with other female students. Ricardo and I were in a relationship, but we also led our own separate lives. Thanks to my fluency in the language and my similar appearance, I had a very fulfilling year as a Portuguese person among Portuguese people. |
| I avoided meeting other Italians: I wanted to absorb the culture 100%, to understand all of its nuances. At first, I hated the Portuguese temperament, which is one of melancholy resignation, with a kind of apathy towards politics and social issues. Where I come from, in Tuscany, we are far more heated and engaged. But slowly but surely, I realised that my future would be here – and, since 2004, Ricardo and I have been living together as a couple. | I avoided meeting other Italians: I wanted to absorb the culture 100%, to understand all of its nuances. At first, I hated the Portuguese temperament, which is one of melancholy resignation, with a kind of apathy towards politics and social issues. Where I come from, in Tuscany, we are far more heated and engaged. But slowly but surely, I realised that my future would be here – and, since 2004, Ricardo and I have been living together as a couple. |
| Without Erasmus we'd probably never have met, because he would never have had the means to travel abroad. And there are still many legacies from the experience: the desire to travel; the friends all around Europe whom you visit; the ease with which you master many different languages; and, above all, the sociability and community spirit that illuminates our everyday lives. | Without Erasmus we'd probably never have met, because he would never have had the means to travel abroad. And there are still many legacies from the experience: the desire to travel; the friends all around Europe whom you visit; the ease with which you master many different languages; and, above all, the sociability and community spirit that illuminates our everyday lives. |
| And now in a few months we're expecting our first child. We haven't yet decided whether to give the baby an Italian or Portuguese name, but the important thing is that he or she grows up in a healthy blend of different cultures." | And now in a few months we're expecting our first child. We haven't yet decided whether to give the baby an Italian or Portuguese name, but the important thing is that he or she grows up in a healthy blend of different cultures." |
| Interview by Federico Taddia | Interview by Federico Taddia |
| Jesús Carrera, 30, from Galicia, Spain, a web developer in London | Jesús Carrera, 30, from Galicia, Spain, a web developer in London |
| Sophie Tafel, 26, from Stuttgart, Germany, an events organiser in London | Sophie Tafel, 26, from Stuttgart, Germany, an events organiser in London |
| "When we met, Sophie was on an Erasmus year in Madrid; she was the flatmate of one of my friends, and I was visiting from my home town of Galicia. Erasmus, I think, means a little bit of studying and a lot of partying. | "When we met, Sophie was on an Erasmus year in Madrid; she was the flatmate of one of my friends, and I was visiting from my home town of Galicia. Erasmus, I think, means a little bit of studying and a lot of partying. |
| She had already been there for almost a year, so her Spanish was OK, and that was the language we used. We still do now, mostly. Her Spanish is very good and my German, well, I have started to learn but I'm not putting in a lot of effort. I can just about manage the basics. We both speak English, and sometimes Sophie will switch into that if she needs to say something technical. | She had already been there for almost a year, so her Spanish was OK, and that was the language we used. We still do now, mostly. Her Spanish is very good and my German, well, I have started to learn but I'm not putting in a lot of effort. I can just about manage the basics. We both speak English, and sometimes Sophie will switch into that if she needs to say something technical. |
| When we got to know each other in Madrid I was just about to leave for London. Galicia is a lovely but small place, and I wanted to know what life in a big city was like. London was particularly attractive because there are lots of opportunities in the technology/online sector, and the salaries are higher too. I wanted to learn English and to meet people from other countries. | When we got to know each other in Madrid I was just about to leave for London. Galicia is a lovely but small place, and I wanted to know what life in a big city was like. London was particularly attractive because there are lots of opportunities in the technology/online sector, and the salaries are higher too. I wanted to learn English and to meet people from other countries. |
| I arrived in 2007 thinking I would stay for a year. Soon it'll be my fifth. I have my own company now, showing businesses how to market themselves online. | I arrived in 2007 thinking I would stay for a year. Soon it'll be my fifth. I have my own company now, showing businesses how to market themselves online. |
| In 2010 Sophie came to London to do a master's in European studies at the LSE, and it was only really then that we got together properly. Since then we have adapted to each other's way of life: most importantly, she has introduced me to her amazing breakfasts. Before, I would have, maybe, some milk and a biscuit. Now we have a full-on meal: muesli, salami, cheese, it goes on and on. I love it. | In 2010 Sophie came to London to do a master's in European studies at the LSE, and it was only really then that we got together properly. Since then we have adapted to each other's way of life: most importantly, she has introduced me to her amazing breakfasts. Before, I would have, maybe, some milk and a biscuit. Now we have a full-on meal: muesli, salami, cheese, it goes on and on. I love it. |
| We go abroad a few times a year. At Easter we went to her friends and family in Stuttgart – and in June we'll go to Galicia. We both like London, it's so international, but I don't think we'll stay here long term. This city is just too hectic. You can't be quiet here; you really have to be active, to do a lot of stuff. If you want to take life a bit more easily, you have to move out. | We go abroad a few times a year. At Easter we went to her friends and family in Stuttgart – and in June we'll go to Galicia. We both like London, it's so international, but I don't think we'll stay here long term. This city is just too hectic. You can't be quiet here; you really have to be active, to do a lot of stuff. If you want to take life a bit more easily, you have to move out. |
| "I think we might go back to Spain. Sophie is really comfortable there and loves it. Then again, when she couldn't find a job here for a few months after her master's, she did think about going back to Germany, where the economic situation is better and she'd be a native speaker. So that's also something that could happen." | "I think we might go back to Spain. Sophie is really comfortable there and loves it. Then again, when she couldn't find a job here for a few months after her master's, she did think about going back to Germany, where the economic situation is better and she'd be a native speaker. So that's also something that could happen." |
| Interview by Lizzy Davies | Interview by Lizzy Davies |
| Edyta Lachowicz-Santos, 37, studying at the University of Economics, Katowice, Poland | Edyta Lachowicz-Santos, 37, studying at the University of Economics, Katowice, Poland |
| Juan Santos, 37, works at Spanish logistics firm in Gliwice, Poland | Juan Santos, 37, works at Spanish logistics firm in Gliwice, Poland |
| Edyta: "We met while on the Erasmus programme in 2002. I was the co-ordinator for foreign students." | Edyta: "We met while on the Erasmus programme in 2002. I was the co-ordinator for foreign students." |
| Juan: "I had studied aquaculture and was working in a breeding firm, Turbota, but I then decided to do a business degree. In the last year of those studies, I came to Poland." | Juan: "I had studied aquaculture and was working in a breeding firm, Turbota, but I then decided to do a business degree. In the last year of those studies, I came to Poland." |
| Edyta: "And then he decided to stay. Juan wanted to meet my family, learn my language and my culture. We travel a lot though. We are in Spain at least once a year." | Edyta: "And then he decided to stay. Juan wanted to meet my family, learn my language and my culture. We travel a lot though. We are in Spain at least once a year." |
| Juan: "My mum comes over from La Coruña in Galicia twice a year. Each time we take her on a tour of Poland. Her mum loves the Polish soup zurek." | Juan: "My mum comes over from La Coruña in Galicia twice a year. Each time we take her on a tour of Poland. Her mum loves the Polish soup zurek." |
| Edyta: "She doesn't like the hospitals though. She is a nurse and when she visited me in hospital after Sofia was born she was shocked at the conditions, the unpleasant attitude of the staff and the fact that patients have to bring their own toilet paper! My husband also says: 'If anything happens to me, just put me on a plane and send me to Spain.'" | Edyta: "She doesn't like the hospitals though. She is a nurse and when she visited me in hospital after Sofia was born she was shocked at the conditions, the unpleasant attitude of the staff and the fact that patients have to bring their own toilet paper! My husband also says: 'If anything happens to me, just put me on a plane and send me to Spain.'" |
| Juan: "Edyta's parents have also visited Spain a couple of times. They liked the sunshine, the sea, the delicious food and smiling people. Both our mums get along great with the help of dictionaries. We don't have to translate for them. Sometimes we ask them what they talk about. We almost always hear differing accounts." | Juan: "Edyta's parents have also visited Spain a couple of times. They liked the sunshine, the sea, the delicious food and smiling people. Both our mums get along great with the help of dictionaries. We don't have to translate for them. Sometimes we ask them what they talk about. We almost always hear differing accounts." |
| Edyta: "We also had to learn how to talk to each other. At the beginning we spoke English, although Juan was just learning the language. Later he admitted he only understood half of what I told him. After that we started speaking Polish." | Edyta: "We also had to learn how to talk to each other. At the beginning we spoke English, although Juan was just learning the language. Later he admitted he only understood half of what I told him. After that we started speaking Polish." |
| Juan: "Today, I can even argue in Polish although it has not been easy learning the language. The grammar is a killer: in no other language are there more exceptions to grammatical rules than rules themselves. It was a lot easier for Edyta to learn Spanish. But she has a gift for languages and besides, basic Spanish is quite easy to learn." | Juan: "Today, I can even argue in Polish although it has not been easy learning the language. The grammar is a killer: in no other language are there more exceptions to grammatical rules than rules themselves. It was a lot easier for Edyta to learn Spanish. But she has a gift for languages and besides, basic Spanish is quite easy to learn." |
| Edyta: "At the beginning, it was also hard for us financially. We lived on my salary from the university, zł.2500 [£460] a month. Juan gave Spanish lessons. Luckily my parents bought me a flat and Juan moved in. Sunday lunches at my parents' place were a big help to us." | Edyta: "At the beginning, it was also hard for us financially. We lived on my salary from the university, zł.2500 [£460] a month. Juan gave Spanish lessons. Luckily my parents bought me a flat and Juan moved in. Sunday lunches at my parents' place were a big help to us." |
| Juan: "Later I got a job in a Spanish firm in Gliwice [35 miles from Katowice] that deals with logistics and warehouse systems. I still work there today." | Juan: "Later I got a job in a Spanish firm in Gliwice [35 miles from Katowice] that deals with logistics and warehouse systems. I still work there today." |
| Edyta: "But now he is the director general. After Juan finished his studies he got an offer for a job with a salary of €2,000 [£1,600] per month. In those days, that was a lot of money, especially in Poland. Now the differences in salary between Poland and Spain are not so big. With the crisis in Spain today, I think we would find it more difficult there." | Edyta: "But now he is the director general. After Juan finished his studies he got an offer for a job with a salary of €2,000 [£1,600] per month. In those days, that was a lot of money, especially in Poland. Now the differences in salary between Poland and Spain are not so big. With the crisis in Spain today, I think we would find it more difficult there." |
| Juan: "What surprised me in Poland was that the centre of big cities are so small. The centre in Vigo, a 300,000-strong city where I studied, is much bigger than the centre of Warsaw. And Polish streets are empty at night. Also, you can feel the baggage of the past. At work it's difficult to find somebody who can take a decision and take responsibility for it without being afraid of making mistakes. People prefer to execute a task given by somebody else." | Juan: "What surprised me in Poland was that the centre of big cities are so small. The centre in Vigo, a 300,000-strong city where I studied, is much bigger than the centre of Warsaw. And Polish streets are empty at night. Also, you can feel the baggage of the past. At work it's difficult to find somebody who can take a decision and take responsibility for it without being afraid of making mistakes. People prefer to execute a task given by somebody else." |
| Edyta: "We are both open to other cultures." | Edyta: "We are both open to other cultures." |
| Juan: "I fell in love with Edyta when I saw how she was ready to try everything including diving and windsurfing. I knew that with this woman, life would never be boring." | Juan: "I fell in love with Edyta when I saw how she was ready to try everything including diving and windsurfing. I knew that with this woman, life would never be boring." |
| Edyta: "I would never risk saying that Spanish men are better husbands. Juan is first and foremost my best friend, who left what he knew and loved, for me. That needed courage and faith that it was worth taking such a risk." | Edyta: "I would never risk saying that Spanish men are better husbands. Juan is first and foremost my best friend, who left what he knew and loved, for me. That needed courage and faith that it was worth taking such a risk." |
| Interview by Izabella Zbikowska | Interview by Izabella Zbikowska |
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