What does it take to quit?The fight to quit smoking can take many forms, but shock tactics worked for Lisa Garrity. Here she tells how a radical approach, including touching a tumour, helped .
Lisa feels 'more relaxed' after quitting through the shock therapyThe fight to quit smoking can take many forms, but shock tactics worked for Lisa Garrity. Here she tells how a radical approach, including touching a tumour, helped .
I'd always hated smoking.
I'd always hated smoking.
I ran track and cross country, played in a band and did cheerleading, so being a smoker didn't fit with my self-image as a healthy person, but I did it anyway.
I ran track and cross country, played in a band and did cheerleading, so being a smoker didn't fit with my self-image as a healthy person, but I did it anyway.
It was only when I tried to quit last year after about 15 years that I realised I was a truly addicted smoker.
It was only when I tried to quit last year after about 15 years that I realised I was a truly addicted smoker.
Smoking was something I felt I should stop doing. Like I should start running, and eat more vegetables and fruits. My hobby is the trapeze but I needed breaks that no-one else needed.
Smoking was something I felt I should stop doing. Like I should start running, and eat more vegetables and fruits. My hobby is the trapeze but I needed breaks that no-one else needed.
Over the years, I've tried to quit with varying degrees of effort and success.
Over the years, I've tried to quit with varying degrees of effort and success.
Last October, my friend Kate asked me if I still wanted to quit smoking. She works on the smoking ban campaign and they'd had a request from the BBC for a case study. I jumped at the opportunity.
Last October, my friend Kate asked me if I still wanted to quit smoking. She works on the smoking ban campaign and they'd had a request from the BBC for a case study. I jumped at the opportunity.
Gunk-filled lungs
Gunk-filled lungs
Meeting the doctor, Alice Roberts, was great. We talked about how the lung work. Smoking paralyses the cilia which are used to clean out your lungs. So, a smoker's lungs don't get cleaned out like everyone else's.
Meeting the doctor, Alice Roberts, was great. We talked about how the lungs work. Smoking paralyses the cilia which are used to clean out your lungs. So, a smoker's lungs don't get cleaned out like everyone else's.
In my mind, I saw a cesspool of gunk coagulating at the bottom of my lungs.
In my mind, I saw a cesspool of gunk coagulating at the bottom of my lungs.
At the tumour's core, the colour was the same as the ashes in my ashtray at home Lisa Garrity
At the tumour's core, the colour was the same as the ashes in my ashtray at home Lisa Garrity
I also watched a lung cancer surgery on Christine, a woman in her fifties.
I also watched a lung cancer surgery on Christine, a woman in her fifties.
It was scary. I expect to be working until 65, then travel during retirement. The reality of my own mortality really hit me: I could easily be in her place.
It was scary. I expect to be working until 65, then travel during retirement. The reality of my own mortality really hit me: I could easily be in her place.
The surgery was fascinating as well as invasive and rough; especially pulling apart the ribs and seeing the surgical implements poke through the skin. Surgery is not something I want to go through. Pain and I don't mix.
The surgery was fascinating as well as invasive and rough; especially pulling apart the ribs and seeing the surgical implements poke through the skin. Surgery is not something I want to go through. Pain and I don't mix.
Watching surgery on screen felt distant and theoretical. Going in to see the cancer afterwards was emotional. I wanted to cry. It was a real struggle to maintain composure.
Watching surgery on screen felt distant and theoretical. Going in to see the cancer afterwards was emotional. I wanted to cry. It was a real struggle to maintain composure.
There was no way I could kid myself anymore. You can't breathe through that chalky, hard lump and you don't have to be a surgeon to see that. They let me touch the tumour and I still can't believe I touched cancer.
There was no way I could kid myself anymore. You can't breathe through that chalky, hard lump and you don't have to be a surgeon to see that. They let me touch the tumour and I still can't believe I touched cancer.
When the surgeon cut it open, I couldn't speak. I couldn't comprehend breathing around a tumour the size of a tennis ball in my lung.
When the surgeon cut it open, I couldn't speak. I couldn't comprehend breathing around a tumour the size of a tennis ball in my lung.
Inside, it looked like the cross-section of a huge piece of chalk - except for the black area. At the core, the colour was the same as the ashes in my ashtray at home.
Inside, it looked like the cross-section of a huge piece of chalk - except for the black area. At the core, the colour was the same as the ashes in my ashtray at home.
There was no way I could put a cigarette to my lips without seeing the cancer and imagining my own, identical cancer, lurking in my lungs and blowing up like a balloon.
There was no way I could put a cigarette to my lips without seeing the cancer and imagining my own, identical cancer, lurking in my lungs and blowing up like a balloon.
Scared and ashamed
Scared and ashamed
It scared the hell out of me and I felt cold and clammy. I felt I'd be the most irresponsible person in the world if I didn't stop smoking.
It scared the hell out of me and I felt cold and clammy. I felt I'd be the most irresponsible person in the world if I didn't stop smoking.
I thought of a friend who'd passed away in an accident and here I was playing Russian roulette. I felt ashamed.
I thought of a friend who'd passed away in an accident and here I was playing Russian roulette. I felt ashamed.
I worried about Christine for days. My grandmother was much older than Christine when she had chemo for breast cancer, but I saw the results and she did not survive.
I worried about Christine for days. My grandmother was much older than Christine when she had chemo for breast cancer, but I saw the results and she did not survive.
I joined the NHS and the Together free stop smoking programmes. The group programme was really good because you find other people who feel the same way.
I joined the NHS and the Together free stop smoking programmes. The group programme was really good because you find other people who feel the same way.
There were a lot of times when I wanted a cigarette. And a month where I turned into Evil Me - I was quick to anger, which frightened me because I'm not usually aggressive.
There were a lot of times when I wanted a cigarette. And a month where I turned into Evil Me - I was quick to anger, which frightened me because I'm not usually aggressive.
Turning point
Turning point
Most of my friends hung in there. Kate reminded me that it was the addiction talking, not my personality. It helped that she treated it as an addiction rather than a character flaw.
Most of my friends hung in there. Kate reminded me that it was the addiction talking, not my personality. It helped that she treated it as an addiction rather than a character flaw.
The biggest turning point was travelling with my friend, Elizabeth, who discouraged me when I wanted a cigarette.
The biggest turning point was travelling with my friend, Elizabeth, who discouraged me when I wanted a cigarette.
I've now had almost four months as a non-smoker. I think about it less, the scary flashes of anger have gone and I save money on smokes and dry cleaning.
I've now had almost four months as a non-smoker. I think about it less, the scary flashes of anger have gone and I save money by not buying cigarettes and on dry cleaning.
My attitude is much better, I feel more relaxed and endurance during trapeze feels easier. I've tried bikram yoga and survived. They say it increases lung capacity, so maybe I'm correcting those 15 years of smoking.
My attitude is much better, I feel more relaxed and endurance during trapeze feels easier. I've tried bikram yoga and survived. They say it increases lung capacity, so maybe I'm correcting those 15 years of smoking.
And, so far, I really am a non-smoker again.
And, so far, I really am a non-smoker again.
Lisa gives up smoking in this week's edition of Don't Die Young, Tuesday, 23 January on BBC Two at 2000 GMT.
Lisa gives up smoking in this week's edition of Don't Die Young, Tuesday, 23 January on BBC Two at 2000 GMT.
Add your comments on this story, using the form below.
Add your comments on this story, using the form below.
