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| Self help Victorian style | Self help Victorian style |
| (about 3 hours later) | |
| It's 150 years since the first self help book - a subject so novel Samuel Smiles's guide was called, simply, Self Help. But could Smiles's Victorian ethos be applied to modern-day dilemmas? | |
| Samuel Smiles was a Victorian sensation. Exactly 150 years ago, his book Self Help took Victorian Britain by storm - and spawned a £10bn industry. | Samuel Smiles was a Victorian sensation. Exactly 150 years ago, his book Self Help took Victorian Britain by storm - and spawned a £10bn industry. |
| FINE OUT MORE... The Grandfather of Self Help is on BBC Radio 4 on Thursday 2 July, at 1130 BST Or listen to it later on the iPlayer | FINE OUT MORE... The Grandfather of Self Help is on BBC Radio 4 on Thursday 2 July, at 1130 BST Or listen to it later on the iPlayer |
| Self-Help sold over a quarter of a million copies, an astonishing sum at the time, and was translated into many languages. Smiles's funeral in 1904 was said to be second only to Queen Victoria's, for the era. | Self-Help sold over a quarter of a million copies, an astonishing sum at the time, and was translated into many languages. Smiles's funeral in 1904 was said to be second only to Queen Victoria's, for the era. |
| Self-Help was published on the same day as Charles Darwin's The Origin of Species. Rather than unveiling a scientific theory, Smiles was promising his readers the key to power and success. | |
| "Heaven helps those who help themselves," he wrote. With hard work, he declared, a man could accomplish anything. | "Heaven helps those who help themselves," he wrote. With hard work, he declared, a man could accomplish anything. |
| A lot to smile about - the first self-help guru | A lot to smile about - the first self-help guru |
| Men should focus on work to the exclusion of all else - sleep, spending time with their families, prayer and even attending to their food. Smiles declared that he had not meant to encourage self-obsession, but it was too late. The self-help industry had been born. | Men should focus on work to the exclusion of all else - sleep, spending time with their families, prayer and even attending to their food. Smiles declared that he had not meant to encourage self-obsession, but it was too late. The self-help industry had been born. |
| Today, there are more than 45,000 titles on Amazon that claim they can help us realise our ambitions and desires: riches, career status, an adoring husband, sexual success, and a slim body. Like Self Help they can be punishing in their judgements: if we fail to achieve, it is our fault. | Today, there are more than 45,000 titles on Amazon that claim they can help us realise our ambitions and desires: riches, career status, an adoring husband, sexual success, and a slim body. Like Self Help they can be punishing in their judgements: if we fail to achieve, it is our fault. |
| But what would Smiles make of such books that promote such frivolous aims? I've devised four modern-day problems that many of today's slew of self-help books seek to address, proposed how they might do so and then suggested how the grandfather of self help, Smiles himself, would have tackled them. | But what would Smiles make of such books that promote such frivolous aims? I've devised four modern-day problems that many of today's slew of self-help books seek to address, proposed how they might do so and then suggested how the grandfather of self help, Smiles himself, would have tackled them. |
| SELF-ESTEEM | SELF-ESTEEM |
| Dan: I am 38 and I have only ever been out with six women. But everyone else I know seems to have dozens of conquests. I am OK looking, but girls just don't seem to be interested. Where am I going wrong? | Dan: I am 38 and I have only ever been out with six women. But everyone else I know seems to have dozens of conquests. I am OK looking, but girls just don't seem to be interested. Where am I going wrong? |
| Neil Strauss' 2005 bestseller, The Game: Penetrating the Society of Pickup Artists, has no truck with the timid tone of Dan's predicament. This is exactly the sort of dilemma for which Strauss would tell Dan he is simply too nice. He would tell Dan to be unkind to the women he desires - ignore them and barb them with comments such as "is that a wig?" | Neil Strauss' 2005 bestseller, The Game: Penetrating the Society of Pickup Artists, has no truck with the timid tone of Dan's predicament. This is exactly the sort of dilemma for which Strauss would tell Dan he is simply too nice. He would tell Dan to be unkind to the women he desires - ignore them and barb them with comments such as "is that a wig?" |
| Smiles, on the other hand, would be utterly shocked by the idea of men spending their every free moment in bars, mocking pretty women. Such behaviour is a distraction from honest toil. He would tell Dave (and Strauss) to quickly marry a woman who seems a good cook, housekeeper and general helpmate- and then settle back to work. Or give up women altogether. As he remarks, "he who cannot restrain, must abstain". | Smiles, on the other hand, would be utterly shocked by the idea of men spending their every free moment in bars, mocking pretty women. Such behaviour is a distraction from honest toil. He would tell Dave (and Strauss) to quickly marry a woman who seems a good cook, housekeeper and general helpmate- and then settle back to work. Or give up women altogether. As he remarks, "he who cannot restrain, must abstain". |
| LOVE | LOVE |
| Nikki: I met Dave five months ago and everything seemed to be going really well. We went out on four or five dates a week, he called a lot, and bought me flowers. But over the last two months things have changed. He is too busy to see me, cancels dates at the last minute and hardly ever calls. | Nikki: I met Dave five months ago and everything seemed to be going really well. We went out on four or five dates a week, he called a lot, and bought me flowers. But over the last two months things have changed. He is too busy to see me, cancels dates at the last minute and hardly ever calls. |
| Marry him and accept your place | Marry him and accept your place |
| It's the sort of romantic quandary that would be given short shrift by Greg Berehndt and Liz Tucillo, authors of one of the most popular self improvement books of recent years, He's Just Not That Into You. The title actually comes from an off-hand comment made by a character in the hit TV series Sex in the City, and Berehndt and Tucillo would urge Nikki to heed look no further. They would tell her that Dave "was just not that into her" and so she should move on. | It's the sort of romantic quandary that would be given short shrift by Greg Berehndt and Liz Tucillo, authors of one of the most popular self improvement books of recent years, He's Just Not That Into You. The title actually comes from an off-hand comment made by a character in the hit TV series Sex in the City, and Berehndt and Tucillo would urge Nikki to heed look no further. They would tell her that Dave "was just not that into her" and so she should move on. |
| Smiles would be very stern with Nikki. Men, he would say, have better things to do than be "into" women. Dave, he would tell her, was quite properly focused on what is important in life - work. Real men don't have time to call or send flowers. Just marry him and accept your place as his obedient helpmate. Smiles's example for all ladies is the wife of John Flaxman, who sacrificed all for her husband's career. She devoted five years of her life to saving to fund his trip to Rome, declaring: "I will never have it said that Ann Denman ruined John Flaxman for an artist." | Smiles would be very stern with Nikki. Men, he would say, have better things to do than be "into" women. Dave, he would tell her, was quite properly focused on what is important in life - work. Real men don't have time to call or send flowers. Just marry him and accept your place as his obedient helpmate. Smiles's example for all ladies is the wife of John Flaxman, who sacrificed all for her husband's career. She devoted five years of her life to saving to fund his trip to Rome, declaring: "I will never have it said that Ann Denman ruined John Flaxman for an artist." |
| WORK | WORK |
| Clare: Our new boss arrived last year and he is really difficult. He's always undermining and criticising our work, he is dismissive in meetings and he even cancelled the monthly staff lunch. What can we do? | Clare: Our new boss arrived last year and he is really difficult. He's always undermining and criticising our work, he is dismissive in meetings and he even cancelled the monthly staff lunch. What can we do? |
| Twenty years ago Stephen Covey published The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and 15 million sales later he has a legion of followers. Covey would encourage Clare to think of his principles of Mutual Benefit - Win/Win and Creative Collaboration. She must try to please her boss, and indeed flatter and charm him. The more she creates an "emotional bank account", or emotionally blackmails him with niceness, the more he will favour her. | Twenty years ago Stephen Covey published The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and 15 million sales later he has a legion of followers. Covey would encourage Clare to think of his principles of Mutual Benefit - Win/Win and Creative Collaboration. She must try to please her boss, and indeed flatter and charm him. The more she creates an "emotional bank account", or emotionally blackmails him with niceness, the more he will favour her. |
| But Smiles would be confused by Covey's theories. The only way to be effective in life is to work hard. If Clare concentrates on creating as many spreadsheets as she can, she will achieve success. She should not waste her time on trivialities such as flattery. As he declares, 'sedulous attention and painstaking industry always mark the true worker'. | But Smiles would be confused by Covey's theories. The only way to be effective in life is to work hard. If Clare concentrates on creating as many spreadsheets as she can, she will achieve success. She should not waste her time on trivialities such as flattery. As he declares, 'sedulous attention and painstaking industry always mark the true worker'. |
| STRESS | STRESS |
| Priya: I am constantly stressed. I am always thinking about work and I cannot switch off. | Priya: I am constantly stressed. I am always thinking about work and I cannot switch off. |
| Embrace the worry that comes with pursuing true toil | Embrace the worry that comes with pursuing true toil |
| Paul Wilson became the guru of stress management when his pocket-sized book the Little Book of Calm became a publishing phenomenon in the late 90s. Wilson, who was inspired by Zen philosophy, would recommend that Priya pretends that every day is a Saturday. She should try to put herself in a holiday mood by lying back, relaxing and then trying to laugh. A long, leisurely warm bath every morning will help soak her stresses away. | Paul Wilson became the guru of stress management when his pocket-sized book the Little Book of Calm became a publishing phenomenon in the late 90s. Wilson, who was inspired by Zen philosophy, would recommend that Priya pretends that every day is a Saturday. She should try to put herself in a holiday mood by lying back, relaxing and then trying to laugh. A long, leisurely warm bath every morning will help soak her stresses away. |
| Smiles would congratulate Priya. The man or woman who thinks about work all the time has attained true happiness. A languid bath? What frivolity. One must embrace the worry that comes with pursuing true toil. As he concludes: "The battle of life is, in most cases, fought up-hill and to win it without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honour." | Smiles would congratulate Priya. The man or woman who thinks about work all the time has attained true happiness. A languid bath? What frivolity. One must embrace the worry that comes with pursuing true toil. As he concludes: "The battle of life is, in most cases, fought up-hill and to win it without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honour." |
| Dr Kate Williams is an author and historian. | |
| Add your comments on this story, using the form below. | Add your comments on this story, using the form below. |
| The BBC may edit your comments and not all emails will be published. Your comments may be published on any BBC media worldwide. Terms & Conditions | The BBC may edit your comments and not all emails will be published. Your comments may be published on any BBC media worldwide. Terms & Conditions |