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| The striptease gets a dressing down | The striptease gets a dressing down |
| (about 2 hours later) | |
| Lap dance clubs are everywhere these days but when a curious Laurie Taylor wanted to visit a striptease venue in his youth he had to travel 200 miles, and the experience couldn't have been less erotic. | Lap dance clubs are everywhere these days but when a curious Laurie Taylor wanted to visit a striptease venue in his youth he had to travel 200 miles, and the experience couldn't have been less erotic. |
| As soon as Jim and I learned that there were clubs in London where ladies took all their clothes off we began to make plans for the trip. | As soon as Jim and I learned that there were clubs in London where ladies took all their clothes off we began to make plans for the trip. |
| Both of us begged and stole enough money from home to pay for the train tickets from Liverpool and we'd nearly £20 left over for a night in a hotel and the price of getting into the actual strip club. | Both of us begged and stole enough money from home to pay for the train tickets from Liverpool and we'd nearly £20 left over for a night in a hotel and the price of getting into the actual strip club. |
| Neither of us had ever been near a hotel except for the time Jim's sister had got married at the Adelphi so we booked into the first one we found as we walked out of Euston station. | Neither of us had ever been near a hotel except for the time Jim's sister had got married at the Adelphi so we booked into the first one we found as we walked out of Euston station. |
| FIND OUT MORE Hear Laurie Taylor's Thinking Allowed on Radio 4 at 1600 on Wednesdays or 0030 on MondaysOr download the podcast here | FIND OUT MORE Hear Laurie Taylor's Thinking Allowed on Radio 4 at 1600 on Wednesdays or 0030 on MondaysOr download the podcast here |
| It was not only a filthy dump - the sort of place, as Ronnie Scott once put it - where you'd wipe your feet on the way out - but the manager took immediate advantage of having two pubescent schoolboys as guests and casually added £10 to our bill. | It was not only a filthy dump - the sort of place, as Ronnie Scott once put it - where you'd wipe your feet on the way out - but the manager took immediate advantage of having two pubescent schoolboys as guests and casually added £10 to our bill. |
| Outside the hotel we faced a cold March morning. I was all for going straight to Soho to find one of the clubs we'd heard about but Jim reckoned that women weren't very likely to take their clothes off in the morning and that we should wait until at least four o'clock in the afternoon before making a move. "Just six hours," he said checking his H Samuel watch. | Outside the hotel we faced a cold March morning. I was all for going straight to Soho to find one of the clubs we'd heard about but Jim reckoned that women weren't very likely to take their clothes off in the morning and that we should wait until at least four o'clock in the afternoon before making a move. "Just six hours," he said checking his H Samuel watch. |
| Six hours was bearable. After all, this time I was going to see a real living walking naked lady. Not the outline sketch of a half naked lady on the side of the Lux soapflakes packet in the kitchen, not the photographs of half-naked breasts in the copy of Parade I kept stacked inside my chemistry set, not the shadowy naked ladies who appeared as illustrations in the Sunday Dispatch's serialisation of Forever Amber. | Six hours was bearable. After all, this time I was going to see a real living walking naked lady. Not the outline sketch of a half naked lady on the side of the Lux soapflakes packet in the kitchen, not the photographs of half-naked breasts in the copy of Parade I kept stacked inside my chemistry set, not the shadowy naked ladies who appeared as illustrations in the Sunday Dispatch's serialisation of Forever Amber. |
| Hollywood in Soho | Hollywood in Soho |
| What I was about to see would be even better than Jane Russell's breasts in The Outlaw and Jennifer Jones' breasts when she came up out of the water in Duel in the Sun. I was about to see what Jim always called "the lot". | What I was about to see would be even better than Jane Russell's breasts in The Outlaw and Jennifer Jones' breasts when she came up out of the water in Duel in the Sun. I was about to see what Jim always called "the lot". |
| What passed for risque in the early 1950s - Jane Russell | What passed for risque in the early 1950s - Jane Russell |
| At half-past three promptly - Jim had agreed to a compromise - we began our tour of the Soho clubs. I reckoned that we should choose our club on the basis of the half-naked photographs outside but Jim pointed out that several clubs had exactly the same photographs and as ladies couldn't be taking off their clothes in several places at the same time, they were probably what he called "representative". | At half-past three promptly - Jim had agreed to a compromise - we began our tour of the Soho clubs. I reckoned that we should choose our club on the basis of the half-naked photographs outside but Jim pointed out that several clubs had exactly the same photographs and as ladies couldn't be taking off their clothes in several places at the same time, they were probably what he called "representative". |
| What neither Jim nor I realised was that many of these "clubs" weren't clubs at all. They were simply holes in the wall. So that when we finally tried to enter one, the doorman simply emerged from his hole, grabbed us by the arms and led us round the corner to a club which had both an entrance and an interior. | What neither Jim nor I realised was that many of these "clubs" weren't clubs at all. They were simply holes in the wall. So that when we finally tried to enter one, the doorman simply emerged from his hole, grabbed us by the arms and led us round the corner to a club which had both an entrance and an interior. |
| That was how we ended up paying our last £10 note at the Hollywood Strip Club. The man on the desk took our money and pointed to a stairway at the back. "Down there, boys," he said. | That was how we ended up paying our last £10 note at the Hollywood Strip Club. The man on the desk took our money and pointed to a stairway at the back. "Down there, boys," he said. |
| We might have been "boys" to him but we felt like proper real grown-up men as we settled down in the second row of this tiny smoky auditorium. Apart from a figure in a leather jacket in the back row who had something to do with the music and lighting, we were the only audience. | We might have been "boys" to him but we felt like proper real grown-up men as we settled down in the second row of this tiny smoky auditorium. Apart from a figure in a leather jacket in the back row who had something to do with the music and lighting, we were the only audience. |
| For a long time nothing happened. We sat in silence and stared at the low empty wooden stage. "'Spect we're still a bit early," Jim whispered. I was too tense to reply. | For a long time nothing happened. We sat in silence and stared at the low empty wooden stage. "'Spect we're still a bit early," Jim whispered. I was too tense to reply. |
| Peeling vegetables | Peeling vegetables |
| Suddenly the lighting on the stage changed from white to red and over the tinny loudspeaker came the sound of Frankie Laine singing Jezebel. And then - "Here we go," whispered Jim - on came the first act. | Suddenly the lighting on the stage changed from white to red and over the tinny loudspeaker came the sound of Frankie Laine singing Jezebel. And then - "Here we go," whispered Jim - on came the first act. |
| The early days of modern erotica | The early days of modern erotica |
| I'd always thought before I stepped into a strip club that this would be one place where I could give my imagination a well-earned rest. Here at last I wouldn't need to imagine the part of a lady's breast below the low-cut dress, the part of a lady's leg above the stocking top. But I quickly discovered my mistake. | I'd always thought before I stepped into a strip club that this would be one place where I could give my imagination a well-earned rest. Here at last I wouldn't need to imagine the part of a lady's breast below the low-cut dress, the part of a lady's leg above the stocking top. But I quickly discovered my mistake. |
| The middle-aged woman who was now going through her motions on the stage was certainly well on the way to showing us the lot. Her breasts were already bare and she'd several times turned round, lowered her knickers, and shown us her bare bottom. | The middle-aged woman who was now going through her motions on the stage was certainly well on the way to showing us the lot. Her breasts were already bare and she'd several times turned round, lowered her knickers, and shown us her bare bottom. |
| But considerable imagination was required in order to believe that any of this behaviour had anything to do with sex. Whereas the ladies in Parade and the naughty films looked as though they were pleased to have your attention, the lady on the stage at the Hollywood Strip managed to take her clothes off as though it was a distasteful task she had to get through before moving on to something more interesting - like peeling potatoes. | But considerable imagination was required in order to believe that any of this behaviour had anything to do with sex. Whereas the ladies in Parade and the naughty films looked as though they were pleased to have your attention, the lady on the stage at the Hollywood Strip managed to take her clothes off as though it was a distasteful task she had to get through before moving on to something more interesting - like peeling potatoes. |
| I tried desperately to bestow some eroticism upon the woman who now danced naked just 12ft before my eyes. Tried - there's no other phrase for it - to turn her into a sex object. But my imagination had barely begun to work when it was savagely punctured. Our private dancer had just turned her bare bottom to us once again when the door on the right opened to admit a straggly blonde who was apparently the next act. As she made her way backstage she glanced up at her wriggling work-mate. "Hello blue arse," she said cheerfully as she pulled open the side curtain. | I tried desperately to bestow some eroticism upon the woman who now danced naked just 12ft before my eyes. Tried - there's no other phrase for it - to turn her into a sex object. But my imagination had barely begun to work when it was savagely punctured. Our private dancer had just turned her bare bottom to us once again when the door on the right opened to admit a straggly blonde who was apparently the next act. As she made her way backstage she glanced up at her wriggling work-mate. "Hello blue arse," she said cheerfully as she pulled open the side curtain. |
| It was quite enough for both Jim and myself. We groped our way out of the club and into the now sunlit Frith Street. "Wasn't that good, was it?" I finally ventured. Jim was his usual philosophical self. "'Spect it gets better in the evening," he said. | It was quite enough for both Jim and myself. We groped our way out of the club and into the now sunlit Frith Street. "Wasn't that good, was it?" I finally ventured. Jim was his usual philosophical self. "'Spect it gets better in the evening," he said. |
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