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| Archbishop urges parents re-think | Archbishop urges parents re-think |
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| Attitudes towards parenting need a radical re-think, the Archbishop of Wales has said. | Attitudes towards parenting need a radical re-think, the Archbishop of Wales has said. |
| In a speech to the Church in Wales' governing body in Llandudno, Dr Barry Morgan said parents must work hard to spend quality time with their children. | In a speech to the Church in Wales' governing body in Llandudno, Dr Barry Morgan said parents must work hard to spend quality time with their children. |
| He said: "In our busyness and self-absorption we have simply lost sight of the big picture." | He said: "In our busyness and self-absorption we have simply lost sight of the big picture." |
| Dr Morgan said children were facing "huge social problems" and growing up in a society which fostered "greed". | Dr Morgan said children were facing "huge social problems" and growing up in a society which fostered "greed". |
| Parents should be given help and advice to support them through difficult times, Dr Morgan added. | Parents should be given help and advice to support them through difficult times, Dr Morgan added. |
| "Comfortable Britain" | "Comfortable Britain" |
| Dr Morgan said: "The recession is not something we can lay at the door of 'them' - the drunken youngsters, unmarried mothers, knife-carrying youths, anti-social gangs..." | Dr Morgan said: "The recession is not something we can lay at the door of 'them' - the drunken youngsters, unmarried mothers, knife-carrying youths, anti-social gangs..." |
| "Its causes well and truly belong to 'us' - comfortable Britain." | "Its causes well and truly belong to 'us' - comfortable Britain." |
| Parents may know the "real needs" of children, said Dr Morgan, but "frequently refuse to recognise that these often come at a personal cost to our own needs and desires - be they compromises in our earning capacity or career development, or commitment to work at a relationship. | Parents may know the "real needs" of children, said Dr Morgan, but "frequently refuse to recognise that these often come at a personal cost to our own needs and desires - be they compromises in our earning capacity or career development, or commitment to work at a relationship. |
| Children are the "responsibility of both parents", who should work hard to prevent family break-ups, he said. | Children are the "responsibility of both parents", who should work hard to prevent family break-ups, he said. |
| Dr Morgan, 62, who is married with two children, said he had been to parenting classes in his local parish when his children were teenagers. | Dr Morgan, 62, who is married with two children, said he had been to parenting classes in his local parish when his children were teenagers. |
| He said: "I am not saying that a woman's place is in the home. Fathers are no less important than mothers in a child's life. | He said: "I am not saying that a woman's place is in the home. Fathers are no less important than mothers in a child's life. |
| "Nor am I saying that parents must stay together at all costs. | "Nor am I saying that parents must stay together at all costs. |
| "Where there is a high level of conflict that cannot be resolved, or an abusive relationship, the child would obviously be better served if the parents separate." | "Where there is a high level of conflict that cannot be resolved, or an abusive relationship, the child would obviously be better served if the parents separate." |
| "Parent-craft" | "Parent-craft" |
| He said children and young people are facing "huge social problems", exacerbated by the credit crunch, because they are growing up in a society that fosters "greed and individualism". | He said children and young people are facing "huge social problems", exacerbated by the credit crunch, because they are growing up in a society that fosters "greed and individualism". |
| Turning to sex education, Dr Morgan said: "We have the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe." | Turning to sex education, Dr Morgan said: "We have the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe." |
| He said that schoolchildren should be taught about the commitment and responsibility involved in parenting, alongside education about sex and contraception. | He said that schoolchildren should be taught about the commitment and responsibility involved in parenting, alongside education about sex and contraception. |
| Dr Morgan said: "We need to be teaching these basic concepts, as well as parent-craft, from an early age. | Dr Morgan said: "We need to be teaching these basic concepts, as well as parent-craft, from an early age. |
| "Particularly to those who have not experienced it first hand, and not simply informing them about the mechanics of a sexual relationship and contraception divorced from the basic concepts of love, responsibility and self-respect." | "Particularly to those who have not experienced it first hand, and not simply informing them about the mechanics of a sexual relationship and contraception divorced from the basic concepts of love, responsibility and self-respect." |
| What do you think of the Archbishop of Wales' comments? Does parenting need an re-think? We will publish a selection of your comments. | What do you think of the Archbishop of Wales' comments? Does parenting need an re-think? We will publish a selection of your comments. |
| I think Dr Barry Morgan is absolutely accurate to address the cause of our current culture and economy instabilities as stemming from individual and family levels. It is too easy to place blame on higher-level social groups or institutions such as the bankers or the government, which is right to some extent, but we must face up to our own failures to take responsibilities and reflect honestly on our own lifestyles and values. I think underlying many of our environmental issues and financial issues is the attitude of greed and self-interest, and in order to face these important issues we need to address the very personal evils, as well as the systematic ones. The confrontation of our problems has become the only adequate response, for denial, despair, or inaction are no longer options, and this must include the important familial levels. Addressing these issues is the best way to change the world for the better. Each of us needs to be empowered, to properly value our responsibilities to each other, to our society and to the wider, international community, and at the same time abandon self-interest and self-promotion, by putting others first to form a world-wide community that would best-benefit all. Carla, Durham | I think Dr Barry Morgan is absolutely accurate to address the cause of our current culture and economy instabilities as stemming from individual and family levels. It is too easy to place blame on higher-level social groups or institutions such as the bankers or the government, which is right to some extent, but we must face up to our own failures to take responsibilities and reflect honestly on our own lifestyles and values. I think underlying many of our environmental issues and financial issues is the attitude of greed and self-interest, and in order to face these important issues we need to address the very personal evils, as well as the systematic ones. The confrontation of our problems has become the only adequate response, for denial, despair, or inaction are no longer options, and this must include the important familial levels. Addressing these issues is the best way to change the world for the better. Each of us needs to be empowered, to properly value our responsibilities to each other, to our society and to the wider, international community, and at the same time abandon self-interest and self-promotion, by putting others first to form a world-wide community that would best-benefit all. Carla, Durham |
| I think he should be given first prize in the 'stating the blinking obvious' category...Why is it that we give a platform to these people who either have nothing of use to say, or worse, advocate ridiculous adherence to antiquated dogma. David Edwards, Aberdare | I think he should be given first prize in the 'stating the blinking obvious' category...Why is it that we give a platform to these people who either have nothing of use to say, or worse, advocate ridiculous adherence to antiquated dogma. David Edwards, Aberdare |
| In response to Mr. Edwards' comment, I would highlight the fact that many people are clearly unaware of the 'obviousness' of Dr. Morgan's advice (why do you think that the Jeremy Kyle Show is so popular?). In particular, I think that the Archbishop's point regarding the importance of responsibility and self-respect is worth taking on board. That his ideas on the subject are based on his religious beliefs is unimportant; they are suggestions grounded also in common sense - and, evidently, experience - which are not in the least dogmatic.Jon, Staines, UK | In response to Mr. Edwards' comment, I would highlight the fact that many people are clearly unaware of the 'obviousness' of Dr. Morgan's advice (why do you think that the Jeremy Kyle Show is so popular?). In particular, I think that the Archbishop's point regarding the importance of responsibility and self-respect is worth taking on board. That his ideas on the subject are based on his religious beliefs is unimportant; they are suggestions grounded also in common sense - and, evidently, experience - which are not in the least dogmatic.Jon, Staines, UK |
| I absolutely agree. What an intelligent and perceptive man! At last, a sensible, honest and constructive set of thoughts and ideas to take and put into action. We should all be challenged from this to be better at raising our children.EKPhillips, Essex, UK | I absolutely agree. What an intelligent and perceptive man! At last, a sensible, honest and constructive set of thoughts and ideas to take and put into action. We should all be challenged from this to be better at raising our children.EKPhillips, Essex, UK |
| Unfortunately this government is seeking to place itself and its mechanisms firmly between parents and children. The nationalisation of childhood is very much on the agenda and turning children into efficient consumer units is one of the aims. Not sure of this? You only have to follow the legislation and proposed legislation regarding children, welfare, parents, databases, health etc to see this is what we are creeping towards.Elaine, Derby, UK | Unfortunately this government is seeking to place itself and its mechanisms firmly between parents and children. The nationalisation of childhood is very much on the agenda and turning children into efficient consumer units is one of the aims. Not sure of this? You only have to follow the legislation and proposed legislation regarding children, welfare, parents, databases, health etc to see this is what we are creeping towards.Elaine, Derby, UK |
| Why give a platform to people like the Archbishop? Because what we are doing now simply is not working. Could it be a good idea to have another look at all that 'antiquated dagma'?Gerhard Zierl, La Oliva, Spain | Why give a platform to people like the Archbishop? Because what we are doing now simply is not working. Could it be a good idea to have another look at all that 'antiquated dagma'?Gerhard Zierl, La Oliva, Spain |
| Since when has being married mother made you a better mother!! Its comments like these that further cause single mothers (like myself) to have a battering from society. I have no 'real friends' because of what society thinks of us but I'm the one who takes out the children of married couples because they don't have time for their own. Stop condemning us. Lynne, Gwent | Since when has being married mother made you a better mother!! Its comments like these that further cause single mothers (like myself) to have a battering from society. I have no 'real friends' because of what society thinks of us but I'm the one who takes out the children of married couples because they don't have time for their own. Stop condemning us. Lynne, Gwent |
| I totally agree and its what i have been thinking myself.Haaris Ahmed, L'pool | I totally agree and its what i have been thinking myself.Haaris Ahmed, L'pool |
| I resent the implication that as an unmarried mother I am in a category of what Dr Morgan seems to feel is unacceptable parents. Not to mention the fact that he omitted unmarried fathers (who I feel may do a fantastic job of bringing up their children). The children's father and I have a healthy relationship whereby we teach our children right and wrong, how to be good citizens and put others before themselves. We work alongside school to give them an education about all matters - and that includes informing our children that some individuals have pre-conceptions and wholly categorise individuals. We are just that - individual. By what evidence does Dr Morgan feel that unmarried mothers are in the same category (" 'them' ") as knife-carrying youths? Does Dr Morgan therefore think that ALL married couples (especially very unhappy ones - as according to him we should try to stay together) do a splendid job of bringing up their children? I feel that bringing up children in a very unhappy and unhealthy relationship could be more damaging to the children in the family than separation. We can, and we do, teach our children to know that they do not have to follow what society allegedly promotes - greed and individualism. There are many things that we teach our children in the hope that they will become respectable adults. That is our responsibility. However, having someone blatantly characterise unmarried mothers in such a demeaning way is unacceptable societal behaviour in itself, that appears somewhat righteous. I would certainly have liked to have seen the entire transcript of this interview.Karen Wikholm, Preston, Lancashire | I resent the implication that as an unmarried mother I am in a category of what Dr Morgan seems to feel is unacceptable parents. Not to mention the fact that he omitted unmarried fathers (who I feel may do a fantastic job of bringing up their children). The children's father and I have a healthy relationship whereby we teach our children right and wrong, how to be good citizens and put others before themselves. We work alongside school to give them an education about all matters - and that includes informing our children that some individuals have pre-conceptions and wholly categorise individuals. We are just that - individual. By what evidence does Dr Morgan feel that unmarried mothers are in the same category (" 'them' ") as knife-carrying youths? Does Dr Morgan therefore think that ALL married couples (especially very unhappy ones - as according to him we should try to stay together) do a splendid job of bringing up their children? I feel that bringing up children in a very unhappy and unhealthy relationship could be more damaging to the children in the family than separation. We can, and we do, teach our children to know that they do not have to follow what society allegedly promotes - greed and individualism. There are many things that we teach our children in the hope that they will become respectable adults. That is our responsibility. However, having someone blatantly characterise unmarried mothers in such a demeaning way is unacceptable societal behaviour in itself, that appears somewhat righteous. I would certainly have liked to have seen the entire transcript of this interview.Karen Wikholm, Preston, Lancashire |
| Unfortunately our Government doesn't take this view. Ask any of the thousands of home educators - especially the single parents - who are struggling against all odds by "going against the flow" and commit ourselves to the raising and educating of our children instead of delegating this to the state.Ann Newstead, Kent, UK | Unfortunately our Government doesn't take this view. Ask any of the thousands of home educators - especially the single parents - who are struggling against all odds by "going against the flow" and commit ourselves to the raising and educating of our children instead of delegating this to the state.Ann Newstead, Kent, UK |
| The government dont make it easy - they force mothers to work with huge financial incentive ie tax credits . However I'm adamant that i remain at home with my two - problem is money is very very tight ... which causes stress and means holidays are out the question. Also I think being a single mother would make it easier to be a better parent - not harder . Think about it - all your attention goes on your children . I think in some ways this guy is right but a bit short sighted . Instead of condeming us parents - especially mothers, how about pushing the government to value families . Greed is wrong - but there's nowt wrong with a bit of individualism . At the end of the day once your kiddies have left home - do you want to be left with nothing ? Parents are humans too and have needs . Happy fufilled parents can do a better job than souless overworked ones .tims wife, glasgow | The government dont make it easy - they force mothers to work with huge financial incentive ie tax credits . However I'm adamant that i remain at home with my two - problem is money is very very tight ... which causes stress and means holidays are out the question. Also I think being a single mother would make it easier to be a better parent - not harder . Think about it - all your attention goes on your children . I think in some ways this guy is right but a bit short sighted . Instead of condeming us parents - especially mothers, how about pushing the government to value families . Greed is wrong - but there's nowt wrong with a bit of individualism . At the end of the day once your kiddies have left home - do you want to be left with nothing ? Parents are humans too and have needs . Happy fufilled parents can do a better job than souless overworked ones .tims wife, glasgow |
| Maybe the Archbishop should take a look at what happened to the generations before instead of condemning the youngsters of today and maybe the media should start looking at the good the young people of today do, instead of the focus on the anti-social yobs! Im a single parent, training to be a youth counsellor, running a youth club - I am with young people every single day, on the ground level actually working with them to empower tem to turn their lives around! I wonder what 'label' he would like to give me.Julia Swallow, Caerphilly | Maybe the Archbishop should take a look at what happened to the generations before instead of condemning the youngsters of today and maybe the media should start looking at the good the young people of today do, instead of the focus on the anti-social yobs! Im a single parent, training to be a youth counsellor, running a youth club - I am with young people every single day, on the ground level actually working with them to empower tem to turn their lives around! I wonder what 'label' he would like to give me.Julia Swallow, Caerphilly |
| In response to Miss Wikholm, Bishop Morgan clearly points out that where marriages are not suitable and it is better for the child to have unmarried parents he has no problems. He is simply pointing out that in many cases today marriages are given up on too quickly. My mother had been married and divorced twice by the time I was 16. WHile I am a Christian I think both divorces were perfectly advisable. In response to Ms swallow I don't think he is 'labelling' anyone, but I do agree that youth get the wrong publicity, the majority of youths are average well rounded people and I think too much emphasis is put on the minority who seem to be continually in the local paper.Jane, Cardiff, Wales | In response to Miss Wikholm, Bishop Morgan clearly points out that where marriages are not suitable and it is better for the child to have unmarried parents he has no problems. He is simply pointing out that in many cases today marriages are given up on too quickly. My mother had been married and divorced twice by the time I was 16. WHile I am a Christian I think both divorces were perfectly advisable. In response to Ms swallow I don't think he is 'labelling' anyone, but I do agree that youth get the wrong publicity, the majority of youths are average well rounded people and I think too much emphasis is put on the minority who seem to be continually in the local paper.Jane, Cardiff, Wales |
| In response to Jane, Dr Morgan refers to a high level of conflict or abusive relationships being reasons why it would be acceptable to separate. One does not need to be in either of these to be unhappy but the welfare of the children's mental and emotional wellbeing could still be at stake and there are certainly many other scenarios that affect children. Hence why I wondered if there was any more to this transcript. If society doesn't want people to give up too quickly (and I am not sure how many people actually get married or divorced flippantly - there sure were enough talks about the importance of staying together and it being for life when I got married - is there any research to say that people give up quickly?) then more should be done to support parents (single or couples) in difficult situations. My husband and I struggled financially when we had to pay to go to Relate - and if we wanted to sort out problems out without going on a waiting list we had to travel 40 miles. Subsidised rates were certainly available and I am referring to around 2001. I would hope that the situation has improved somewhat. The problems are all over. Societal attitudes, inadequate sentencing, lack of school-parents dialogue, lack of information and support for parents (not just new parents) but what about those parents who have gone through the 0-5 years when you get lots of support and then get left with no support at all. Without having my family support around me things were a struggle. In today's world, people don't always stay in the same area as their parents and relatives. It's not always a choice as people move to keep jobs and improve prospects for their own family - but it may mean losing out on family support. I accept that's a personal choice still, but Government support for families should not be based on whether you moved away from your parents. Where is the Government support for networking for families, and free advice about how to bring up healthy happy children? Why are we all left to our own devices once they get past the age of 5? It's a new and exciting learning curve every year, not just for the first 5! But I feel that a little help along the way might help some parents who are finding things difficult. A GP is not always the first place we should have to go to. People aren't sick. People need support and advice. An information leaflet from the Government with a whole range of different contacts would be a great source of encouragement and perhaps should be given out by Health Visitors when the child turns 5, then periodically suitable updated information leaflets that are age appropriate to your children? Or is that just a bit too hopeful of a pro-active society!? Karen Wikholm, Preston, England | In response to Jane, Dr Morgan refers to a high level of conflict or abusive relationships being reasons why it would be acceptable to separate. One does not need to be in either of these to be unhappy but the welfare of the children's mental and emotional wellbeing could still be at stake and there are certainly many other scenarios that affect children. Hence why I wondered if there was any more to this transcript. If society doesn't want people to give up too quickly (and I am not sure how many people actually get married or divorced flippantly - there sure were enough talks about the importance of staying together and it being for life when I got married - is there any research to say that people give up quickly?) then more should be done to support parents (single or couples) in difficult situations. My husband and I struggled financially when we had to pay to go to Relate - and if we wanted to sort out problems out without going on a waiting list we had to travel 40 miles. Subsidised rates were certainly available and I am referring to around 2001. I would hope that the situation has improved somewhat. The problems are all over. Societal attitudes, inadequate sentencing, lack of school-parents dialogue, lack of information and support for parents (not just new parents) but what about those parents who have gone through the 0-5 years when you get lots of support and then get left with no support at all. Without having my family support around me things were a struggle. In today's world, people don't always stay in the same area as their parents and relatives. It's not always a choice as people move to keep jobs and improve prospects for their own family - but it may mean losing out on family support. I accept that's a personal choice still, but Government support for families should not be based on whether you moved away from your parents. Where is the Government support for networking for families, and free advice about how to bring up healthy happy children? Why are we all left to our own devices once they get past the age of 5? It's a new and exciting learning curve every year, not just for the first 5! But I feel that a little help along the way might help some parents who are finding things difficult. A GP is not always the first place we should have to go to. People aren't sick. People need support and advice. An information leaflet from the Government with a whole range of different contacts would be a great source of encouragement and perhaps should be given out by Health Visitors when the child turns 5, then periodically suitable updated information leaflets that are age appropriate to your children? Or is that just a bit too hopeful of a pro-active society!? Karen Wikholm, Preston, England |
| Unsurprisingly, it seems a number of people have been blinded by the poor bloke's job! He mentions "'them' - the drunken youngsters, unmarried mothers, knife-carrying youths, anti-social gangs..." purely to say that this kind of lumping together of people and demonising them in the media is pointless. He is NOT pushing marriage as some people seem to have assumed - he doesn't actually refer to staying married, or husbands and wives, he talks about PARENTS, and suggests that they should remain together wherever possible. Together, not married. This isn't criticism of those who are in untenable situations, it's simply common sense - children with 2 happy parents that support each other are, generally speaking, happier and more well-adjusted than children in single parent families. If it had been a professor or educator making these statements, I believe half the negative comments wouldn't have been made. Unfortunately anything said by a member of the clergy seems to automatically come under fire. It's a shame since they talk sense from time to time, just like the rest of us.Jonny, Scarborough, England | |
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