Morrissey may have to sit down and try to write a Eurovision hit. Is there a formula he should follow?
Morrissey may have to sit down and try to write a Eurovision hit. Is there a formula he should follow?
Previous winners include Love Shine a Light, Fly on the Wings of Love and Take Me to Your Heaven.
Previous winners include Love Shine a Light, Fly on the Wings of Love and Take Me to Your Heaven.
The man hoping to emulate them has penned Girlfriend in a Coma, Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now, Interesting Drug and We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful.
The man hoping to emulate them has penned Girlfriend in a Coma, Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now, Interesting Drug and We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful.
In one of music's most unlikely collaborations, the BBC has confirmed that Morrissey, known for his bleak satire, could represent the UK at the altar of high camp - the Eurovision Song Contest.
In one of music's most unlikely collaborations, the BBC has confirmed that Morrissey, known for his bleak satire, could represent the UK at the altar of high camp - the Eurovision Song Contest.
The corporation is in talks with the former singer of The Smiths, the Mancunian band which influenced a generation.
The corporation is in talks with the former singer of The Smiths, the Mancunian band which influenced a generation.
Puppet on a String was like a salmon swimming up the river Bill MartinPuppet on a String writer
Puppet on a String was like a salmon swimming up the river Bill MartinPuppet on a String writer
His legion of fans are still digesting the news, some with disgust, although their votes could be needed in the preliminary televised round that has in the past cast glamour model Jordan aside.
His legion of fans are still digesting the news, some with disgust, although their votes could be needed in the preliminary televised round that has in the past cast glamour model Jordan aside.
Even allowing for Morrissey's love of the absurd, how one of the industry's most respected lyricists will conform to a format that crowned Diggi Loo-Diggi Ley, Ding Dinge Dong and Boom Bang-A-Bang as winners is an intriguing question.
Even allowing for Morrissey's love of the absurd, how one of the industry's most respected lyricists will conform to a format that crowned Diggi Loo-Diggi Ley, Ding Dinge Dong and Boom Bang-A-Bang as winners is an intriguing question.
And if Morrissey is looking for a template to follow, then he needs to provide some key ingredients, according to music expert Dr Harry Witchel.
And if Morrissey is looking for a template to follow, then he needs to provide some key ingredients, according to music expert Dr Harry Witchel.
His analysis of 50 years of Eurovision winners provided him with a specific recipe, including pace and rhythm, an easily memorable song, a perfect chorus, a key change, a clearly defined finish and a dance routine.
His analysis of 50 years of Eurovision winners provided him with a specific recipe, including pace and rhythm, an easily memorable song, a perfect chorus, a key change, a clearly defined finish and a dance routine.
His research concluded that Abba's Waterloo, the 1974 winner, was the perfect entry.
His research concluded that Abba's Waterloo, the 1974 winner, was the perfect entry.
'Be distinctive'
'Be distinctive'
But Bill Martin, who wrote the UK's first winner in 1967 for Sandie Shaw, said the only formula is to be different.
But Bill Martin, who wrote the UK's first winner in 1967 for Sandie Shaw, said the only formula is to be different.
"Puppet on a String was like a salmon swimming up the river. It had to be different. This was 1967, the year of flower power, Sergeant Peppers and A Whiter Shade of Pale.
"Puppet on a String was like a salmon swimming up the river. It had to be different. This was 1967, the year of flower power, Sergeant Peppers and A Whiter Shade of Pale.
"We wanted to do long notes, like a circus song. It had to be concise, in the sense that it wasn't over-orchestrated. The bassoon was totally different.
"We wanted to do long notes, like a circus song. It had to be concise, in the sense that it wasn't over-orchestrated. The bassoon was totally different.
Eurovision throws up a mix of talents
Eurovision throws up a mix of talents
"But I can't see how Morrissey is going to be different. He's too old and he's not original."
"But I can't see how Morrissey is going to be different. He's too old and he's not original."
Eurovision is no longer just about a song, he says. It is a dancing and video extravaganza which would be unsuitable for Morrissey.
Eurovision is no longer just about a song, he says. It is a dancing and video extravaganza which would be unsuitable for Morrissey.
There would be a certain symmetry to Morrissey trying to emulate the feat of Sandie Shaw exactly 40 years later. She was a childhood hero of his, who duetted with him on several Smiths songs.
There would be a certain symmetry to Morrissey trying to emulate the feat of Shaw exactly 40 years later. She was a childhood hero of his, who duetted with him on several Smiths songs.
Threats
Threats
And his followers claim he is not as miserable as the media paint him, and that his wit and charisma are overlooked.
And his followers claim he is not as miserable as the media paint him, and that his wit and charisma are overlooked.
He did remark last year, after Daz Sampson failed to greatly trouble the scoreboard, that he should have been asked to write the UK entry, but it was a comment interpreted as tongue-in-cheek.
He did remark last year, after Daz Sampson failed to greatly trouble the scoreboard, that he should have been asked to write the UK entry, but it was a comment interpreted as tongue-in-cheek.
One fan has threatened to sell his collections if Morrissey enters the contest, while others believe he can take something as hackneyed as Eurovision and give it a new dimension.
One fan has threatened to sell his collections if Morrissey enters the contest, while others believe he can take something as hackneyed as Eurovision and give it a new dimension.
And the sense of novelty that recent winners have brought to the contest - transsexuality, death rock - means there could be an appetite for a new twist.
And the sense of novelty that recent winners have brought to the contest - transsexuality, death rock - means there could be an appetite for a new twist.
Add your comments on this story, using the form below.
Add your comments on this story, using the form below.
Dr Harry Witchel's time has been wasted. In this day and age, politics and neighbourly voting decides the winner of the contest... I hope Morrissey does represent the UK, and thouroughly mocks the whole event in the process, just like Lordi did... JMC, Bristol
Though I heartily approve of Morrissey entering Eurovision, aren't we all forgetting that in order to win you need to write music in the style that only someone with hearing problems could appreciate and lyrics worthy of a three-year- old? Surely little chris would be a better option.. "Belligerent ghouls run song contest schools"Will Theakston, Lyon, France
Though I heartily approve of Morrissey entering Eurovision, aren't we all forgetting that in order to win you need to write music in the style that only someone with hearing problems could appreciate and lyrics worthy of a three-year- old? Surely little chris would be a better option.. "Belligerent ghouls run song contest schools"Will Theakston, Lyon, France
