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Compliment not intended | Compliment not intended |
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No 'manly' instrument for MenuhinBeing compared to a virtuoso violinist should be a compliment of the highest order. But it wasn't intended as such, explains Laurie Taylor in his weekly column for the Magazine. | No 'manly' instrument for MenuhinBeing compared to a virtuoso violinist should be a compliment of the highest order. But it wasn't intended as such, explains Laurie Taylor in his weekly column for the Magazine. |
I knew from the age of 12 that I was not cut out to be a sportsman. Any notion I might have had of playing cricket or rugby for my school was knocked out of me by Mr Perry, the ex-army gym master who quickly came to the conclusion that my inability to climb a set of wall bars or vault a wooden horse was not merely indicative of a lack of athletic prowess but a sure sign of an ineradicable character fault. | I knew from the age of 12 that I was not cut out to be a sportsman. Any notion I might have had of playing cricket or rugby for my school was knocked out of me by Mr Perry, the ex-army gym master who quickly came to the conclusion that my inability to climb a set of wall bars or vault a wooden horse was not merely indicative of a lack of athletic prowess but a sure sign of an ineradicable character fault. |
''Oo do you think you are?" he would bellow at me as I once again landed painfully on my own hands in the middle of the horse instead of vaulting its full length and springing to an upright position with arms outstretched. ''Oo do you think you are? Bleeding Yehudi Menyudi?" | ''Oo do you think you are?" he would bellow at me as I once again landed painfully on my own hands in the middle of the horse instead of vaulting its full length and springing to an upright position with arms outstretched. ''Oo do you think you are? Bleeding Yehudi Menyudi?" |
At first I imagined that "Yehudi Menyudi" must be the name of some particularly inept pupil who Mr Perry had encountered in his years of teaching. It was only when he began to use the name regularly as a way of characterising my feeble running and jumping and climbing skills that I went to look it up at home in my Pears Encyclopaedia. | |
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There I learnt that "Yehudi Menyudi" was in fact the prodigiously gifted violinist and teacher Yehudi Menuhin. But what was there about his life and art which had led his name to become a term of abuse? Slowly, the truth dawned. | There I learnt that "Yehudi Menyudi" was in fact the prodigiously gifted violinist and teacher Yehudi Menuhin. But what was there about his life and art which had led his name to become a term of abuse? Slowly, the truth dawned. |
To Mr Perry, Yehudi Menuhin represented the absolute antithesis of sporting achievement. Instead of spending his youth vaulting horses and climbing bars, he had devoted his time to becoming a musician. | To Mr Perry, Yehudi Menuhin represented the absolute antithesis of sporting achievement. Instead of spending his youth vaulting horses and climbing bars, he had devoted his time to becoming a musician. |
And not just any musician. Young Yehudi hadn't taken up the manly trumpet or the military drums. He had chosen a violin. Fancy a real boy spending his childhood scraping a bow across an instrument that tucked so primly under one's chin. How very effete! | And not just any musician. Young Yehudi hadn't taken up the manly trumpet or the military drums. He had chosen a violin. Fancy a real boy spending his childhood scraping a bow across an instrument that tucked so primly under one's chin. How very effete! |
Two-shilling escape | Two-shilling escape |
But, as I also came to realise, there was another dimension. Yehudi Menuhin was Jewish. And I didn't need any help from Pears to recognise that Jews were hardly known for their sporting prowess (I'd come across a joke list of "very thin books" in my weekly comic which included the Jewish Book of Sporting Legends). | But, as I also came to realise, there was another dimension. Yehudi Menuhin was Jewish. And I didn't need any help from Pears to recognise that Jews were hardly known for their sporting prowess (I'd come across a joke list of "very thin books" in my weekly comic which included the Jewish Book of Sporting Legends). |
Matters were now absolutely clear. Mr Perry, as I dimly recognised without having the words for it, saw my pathetic gymnastic endeavours as firm evidence that I was a homosexual Jew. No-one at a Catholic school at the end of 1940s could possibly have been more out of place and time. | |
'Doctor's note,' I'd say sadly whenever my name was called for cricket or rugby | |
But even as I was resigning myself to my fate, I was saved forever by a small piece of luck. Jim, my close friend in class, offered me a doctor's note, or rather a page torn from a doctor's prescription pad. | But even as I was resigning myself to my fate, I was saved forever by a small piece of luck. Jim, my close friend in class, offered me a doctor's note, or rather a page torn from a doctor's prescription pad. |
All I had to do, apart from paying Jim two shillings for the gift, was mimic a doctor's handwriting and scrawl across the page "This is to confirm that Laurence Taylor should be excused from games on the grounds of physical incapacity." | All I had to do, apart from paying Jim two shillings for the gift, was mimic a doctor's handwriting and scrawl across the page "This is to confirm that Laurence Taylor should be excused from games on the grounds of physical incapacity." |
That kept me out of all sport for the rest of my schooldays. "Doctor's note," I'd say sadly whenever my name was called for cricket or rugby or cross-country practice. "Doctor's note," I'd say when I was asked to join the school's cadet force. | That kept me out of all sport for the rest of my schooldays. "Doctor's note," I'd say sadly whenever my name was called for cricket or rugby or cross-country practice. "Doctor's note," I'd say when I was asked to join the school's cadet force. |
"Doctor's note," I said one day when I encountered Mr Perry the gym master in the corridor. He looked slightly bemused. Had he failed to recognise me? "Yehudi," I said helpfully, "Yehudi Menyudi". "Oh yes, I remember," he said disdainfully over his shoulder as he jogged off towards his next class. | "Doctor's note," I said one day when I encountered Mr Perry the gym master in the corridor. He looked slightly bemused. Had he failed to recognise me? "Yehudi," I said helpfully, "Yehudi Menyudi". "Oh yes, I remember," he said disdainfully over his shoulder as he jogged off towards his next class. |
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PS: Many thanks to all those who offered me advice on my tulips. Even though the recent warm weather may have played a minor part, I like to believe that it was primarily your good wishes which ensured that I now have more than two dozen firm green shoots poking proudly out of my balcony pots. | PS: Many thanks to all those who offered me advice on my tulips. Even though the recent warm weather may have played a minor part, I like to believe that it was primarily your good wishes which ensured that I now have more than two dozen firm green shoots poking proudly out of my balcony pots. |
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Below is a selection of your comments. | |
I can beat your doctors note. With a little help from my friends, I convinced the new games mistress that my name was a mistake on the register. She crossed it off. And for the rest of my school career I didn't have to go. In the prize-giving for my final year, I won a £5 book token from my head of house, recognising the achievement.Ruth, London | |
On our first day at boarding school in 1968, we were asked who would like to take piano lessons. I was not keen but one of the older boys whispered, "you get out of sport" so I thrust my hand in the air. I went on to become a professional musician and have earned far more from music than I could hope to have earned from "agitating a pig's bladder" on the football field. A good move. James, Dover | |
Always picked last in sports at school (I can't blame them). I am the only member of the family who can't do sport (others are rugby players, snowboarders etc) but I'm the musical one. I may run like an elephant with arthritic knees, but I can sing quite well. I think it's a general thing with PE teachers though. I was seen as a hindrance and usually tasked with handing out half time oranges. Which is a shame because I may have been good at something other than hockey, netball, long jump, javelin, high jump...Natascha, Brighton, Sussex | |
Do a lot of fencers read this column? I am rather handy with with both an Epee and guitar, but not, sadly, at the same time.Dave Atkins, Devon | |
My brother was the recipient of the following entry in his school report "Never mind, Einstein couldn't play cricket either". How true that is, I know not, but my brother did get his first at Oxford a few years later. Unlike my brother, I enjoyed sport and played rugby for school until I had to make a choice between that and my music; I didn't mind matches on Wednesday afternoon, but Saturday morning was orchestra practice. When I told the head of games that I was no longer available to play for the 2nd XV, he stopped talking to me... until... I was selected for the National Youth Orchestra of Wales, at which point he came to see me and said, with genuine pride and affection, "Well done, you're playing for Wales now."Iestyn, Abercynon, South Wales | |
I'm an all-rounder really, I play piano and violin, and am also a very decent fencer and kayaker. Though this may not be indicative of natural aptitude, but rather the great deal of spare time university degrees leaves one these days.Scott, Hull | I'm an all-rounder really, I play piano and violin, and am also a very decent fencer and kayaker. Though this may not be indicative of natural aptitude, but rather the great deal of spare time university degrees leaves one these days.Scott, Hull |
Strange coincidence with Scott - I'm a violinist as well and at school I was also a fencer. The master running the fencing club was also a violinist and the PE master HATED the fencing club - it was the only athletic club he didn't run and by far the most successful. Public schools' champions five years in a row when I was there.Malcolm Turner, Belfast | Strange coincidence with Scott - I'm a violinist as well and at school I was also a fencer. The master running the fencing club was also a violinist and the PE master HATED the fencing club - it was the only athletic club he didn't run and by far the most successful. Public schools' champions five years in a row when I was there.Malcolm Turner, Belfast |
I wasn't an athletic child either. I did play the violin and I loved the times when my violin classes fell during games so I could get out of them. So the violin, effete instrument it might be, got me out of further humiliation. Vive le Violon!Janet, Newcastle upon Tyne | I wasn't an athletic child either. I did play the violin and I loved the times when my violin classes fell during games so I could get out of them. So the violin, effete instrument it might be, got me out of further humiliation. Vive le Violon!Janet, Newcastle upon Tyne |
Menuhin occasionally took holidays in Co Donegal in Ireland to relax. One story goes that he sat in a pub one evening and a traditional session started so he joined in. At the end, thanks was given to "Hughie McMenamy" for the entertainment. I used to play in youth orchestra, and had just taken possession of a violin made in 1670s by Thomas Urquhart, which meant my original violin which was "only" 100 years old didn't get played. Someone asked me if the violin of that week was my old one, so I replied "Yes, I gave Yehudi my new one". The old one's are the best... so delighted I had the chance to use that old chestnut in real life.Iain, Welwyn Garden City | Menuhin occasionally took holidays in Co Donegal in Ireland to relax. One story goes that he sat in a pub one evening and a traditional session started so he joined in. At the end, thanks was given to "Hughie McMenamy" for the entertainment. I used to play in youth orchestra, and had just taken possession of a violin made in 1670s by Thomas Urquhart, which meant my original violin which was "only" 100 years old didn't get played. Someone asked me if the violin of that week was my old one, so I replied "Yes, I gave Yehudi my new one". The old one's are the best... so delighted I had the chance to use that old chestnut in real life.Iain, Welwyn Garden City |
I, on the other hand, would rejoice when a sporting occasion or injury would get me out of music or art classes.Ian White | I, on the other hand, would rejoice when a sporting occasion or injury would get me out of music or art classes.Ian White |