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| On the fiddle | On the fiddle |
| (about 1 hour later) | |
| No 'manly' instrument for MenuhinBeing compared to a virtuoso violinist should be a compliment of the highest order. But it wasn't intended as such, explains Laurie Taylor in his weekly column for the Magazine. | No 'manly' instrument for MenuhinBeing compared to a virtuoso violinist should be a compliment of the highest order. But it wasn't intended as such, explains Laurie Taylor in his weekly column for the Magazine. |
| I knew from the age of 12 that I was not cut out to be a sportsman. Any notion I might have had of playing cricket or rugby for my school was knocked out of me by Mr Perry, the ex-army gym master who quickly came to the conclusion that my inability to climb a set of wall bars or vault a wooden horse was not merely indicative of a lack of athletic prowess but a sure sign of an ineradicable character fault. | I knew from the age of 12 that I was not cut out to be a sportsman. Any notion I might have had of playing cricket or rugby for my school was knocked out of me by Mr Perry, the ex-army gym master who quickly came to the conclusion that my inability to climb a set of wall bars or vault a wooden horse was not merely indicative of a lack of athletic prowess but a sure sign of an ineradicable character fault. |
| ''Oo do you think you are?" he would bellow at me as I once again landed painfully on my own hands in the middle of the horse instead of vaulting its full length and springing to an upright position with arms outstretched. ''Oo do you think you are? Bleeding Yehudi Menyudi?" | ''Oo do you think you are?" he would bellow at me as I once again landed painfully on my own hands in the middle of the horse instead of vaulting its full length and springing to an upright position with arms outstretched. ''Oo do you think you are? Bleeding Yehudi Menyudi?" |
| At first I imagined that "Yehudi Menyudi" must be the name of some particularly inept pupil who Mr Perry had encountered in his years of teaching. It was only when he began to use the name regularly as a way of characterising my feeble running and jumping and climbing skills that I went to look it up at home in my Pears Encyclopaedia. FIND OUT MORE Hear Laurie Taylor's Thinking Allowed on Radio 4 at 1600 on Wednesdays or 0030 on MondaysOr download the podcast here | At first I imagined that "Yehudi Menyudi" must be the name of some particularly inept pupil who Mr Perry had encountered in his years of teaching. It was only when he began to use the name regularly as a way of characterising my feeble running and jumping and climbing skills that I went to look it up at home in my Pears Encyclopaedia. FIND OUT MORE Hear Laurie Taylor's Thinking Allowed on Radio 4 at 1600 on Wednesdays or 0030 on MondaysOr download the podcast here |
| There I learnt that "Yehudi Menyudi" was in fact the prodigiously gifted violinist and teacher Yehudi Menuhin. But what was there about his life and art which had led his name to become a term of abuse? Slowly, the truth dawned. | There I learnt that "Yehudi Menyudi" was in fact the prodigiously gifted violinist and teacher Yehudi Menuhin. But what was there about his life and art which had led his name to become a term of abuse? Slowly, the truth dawned. |
| To Mr Perry, Yehudi Menuhin represented the absolute antithesis of sporting achievement. Instead of spending his youth vaulting horses and climbing bars, he had devoted his time to becoming a musician. | To Mr Perry, Yehudi Menuhin represented the absolute antithesis of sporting achievement. Instead of spending his youth vaulting horses and climbing bars, he had devoted his time to becoming a musician. |
| And not just any musician. Young Yehudi hadn't taken up the manly trumpet or the military drums. He had chosen a violin. Fancy a real boy spending his childhood scraping a bow across an instrument that tucked so primly under one's chin. How very effete! | And not just any musician. Young Yehudi hadn't taken up the manly trumpet or the military drums. He had chosen a violin. Fancy a real boy spending his childhood scraping a bow across an instrument that tucked so primly under one's chin. How very effete! |
| Two-shilling escape | Two-shilling escape |
| But, as I also came to realise, there was another dimension. Yehudi Menuhin was Jewish. And I didn't need any help from Pears to recognise that Jews were hardly known for their sporting prowess (I'd come across a joke list of "very thin books" in my weekly comic which included the Jewish Book of Sporting Legends). | But, as I also came to realise, there was another dimension. Yehudi Menuhin was Jewish. And I didn't need any help from Pears to recognise that Jews were hardly known for their sporting prowess (I'd come across a joke list of "very thin books" in my weekly comic which included the Jewish Book of Sporting Legends). |
| Matters were now absolutely clear. Mr Perry, as I dimly recognised without having the words for it, saw my pathetic gymnastic endeavours as firm evidence that I was a homosexual Jew. No-one at a Catholic school at the end of 1940s could possibly have been more out of place and time. 'Doctor's note,' I'd say sadly whenever my name was called for cricket or rugby | Matters were now absolutely clear. Mr Perry, as I dimly recognised without having the words for it, saw my pathetic gymnastic endeavours as firm evidence that I was a homosexual Jew. No-one at a Catholic school at the end of 1940s could possibly have been more out of place and time. 'Doctor's note,' I'd say sadly whenever my name was called for cricket or rugby |
| But even as I was resigning myself to my fate, I was saved forever by a small piece of luck. Jim, my close friend in class, offered me a doctor's note, or rather a page torn from a doctor's prescription pad. | But even as I was resigning myself to my fate, I was saved forever by a small piece of luck. Jim, my close friend in class, offered me a doctor's note, or rather a page torn from a doctor's prescription pad. |
| All I had to do, apart from paying Jim two shillings for the gift, was mimic a doctor's handwriting and scrawl across the page "This is to confirm that Laurence Taylor should be excused from games on the grounds of physical incapacity." | All I had to do, apart from paying Jim two shillings for the gift, was mimic a doctor's handwriting and scrawl across the page "This is to confirm that Laurence Taylor should be excused from games on the grounds of physical incapacity." |
| That kept me out of all sport for the rest of my schooldays. "Doctor's note," I'd say sadly whenever my name was called for cricket or rugby or cross-country practice. "Doctor's note," I'd say when I was asked to join the school's cadet force. | That kept me out of all sport for the rest of my schooldays. "Doctor's note," I'd say sadly whenever my name was called for cricket or rugby or cross-country practice. "Doctor's note," I'd say when I was asked to join the school's cadet force. |
| "Doctor's note," I said one day when I encountered Mr Perry the gym master in the corridor. He looked slightly bemused. Had he failed to recognise me? "Yehudi," I said helpfully, "Yehudi Menyudi". "Oh yes, I remember," he said disdainfully over his shoulder as he jogged off towards his next class. | "Doctor's note," I said one day when I encountered Mr Perry the gym master in the corridor. He looked slightly bemused. Had he failed to recognise me? "Yehudi," I said helpfully, "Yehudi Menyudi". "Oh yes, I remember," he said disdainfully over his shoulder as he jogged off towards his next class. |
| PS. Many thanks to all those who offered me advice on my tulips. Even though the recent warm weather may have played a minor part, I like to believe that it was primarily your good wishes which ensured that I now have more than two dozen firm green shoots poking proudly out of my balcony pots. | PS. Many thanks to all those who offered me advice on my tulips. Even though the recent warm weather may have played a minor part, I like to believe that it was primarily your good wishes which ensured that I now have more than two dozen firm green shoots poking proudly out of my balcony pots. |
| Add your comments on this story, using the form below. | Add your comments on this story, using the form below. |
| I'm an all-rounder really, I play piano and violin, and am also a very decent fencer and kayaker. Though this may not be indicative of natural aptitude, but rather the great deal of spare time university degrees leaves one these days.Scott, Hull | |
| I wasn't an athletic child either. I did play the violin and I loved the times when my violin classes fell during games so I could get out of them. So the violin, effete instrument it might be, got me out of further humiliation. Vive le Violon!Janet, Newcastle upon Tyne | I wasn't an athletic child either. I did play the violin and I loved the times when my violin classes fell during games so I could get out of them. So the violin, effete instrument it might be, got me out of further humiliation. Vive le Violon!Janet, Newcastle upon Tyne |