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Mother wants sex for Down's son | Mother wants sex for Down's son |
(1 day later) | |
Otto Baxter tried dating girls with Down's syndromeOtto Baxter is 21 and has Down's syndrome. | Otto Baxter tried dating girls with Down's syndromeOtto Baxter is 21 and has Down's syndrome. |
His mother Lucy thinks he should have all the experiences that other young men of his age have - including sex. Otto and Lucy spoke to BBC Radio 5 Live's Victoria Derbyshire show. | |
Lucy Baxter says she has only ever wanted her son to lead an "ordinary" life. | Lucy Baxter says she has only ever wanted her son to lead an "ordinary" life. |
"I wanted him to do exactly the same as everybody else so I was very keen he went to a mainstream school," she said. | "I wanted him to do exactly the same as everybody else so I was very keen he went to a mainstream school," she said. |
"I had a job keeping him there because the authorities wanted him in a special school. | "I had a job keeping him there because the authorities wanted him in a special school. |
"But I believe that he has every right to have the same opportunities as everybody else." | "But I believe that he has every right to have the same opportunities as everybody else." |
To that end, Otto had friends without disabilites, went to youth clubs and parties. FROM BBC RADIO 5 LIVE More from BBC Radio 5 Live | |
"I can't see that one can be a rounded individual in our society if you don't participate in everything that we participate in," she said. | "I can't see that one can be a rounded individual in our society if you don't participate in everything that we participate in," she said. |
Otto has plenty of female friends but as he got older it became harder for him to take the steps his male friends took for granted. | Otto has plenty of female friends but as he got older it became harder for him to take the steps his male friends took for granted. |
"You don't go to secondary school without being very well aware of sex," Lucy told Victoria Derbyshire. | "You don't go to secondary school without being very well aware of sex," Lucy told Victoria Derbyshire. |
"The trouble is, when he goes out on the town to nightclubs and pubs these days his friends get lucky. Otto manages to get off with somebody, a snog or two, but then they don't want any more than that. | "The trouble is, when he goes out on the town to nightclubs and pubs these days his friends get lucky. Otto manages to get off with somebody, a snog or two, but then they don't want any more than that. |
"And that's where it's very difficult for him." | "And that's where it's very difficult for him." |
Sometimes he comes down in the morning and is sad - he just wants a girlfriend Lucy Baxter | Sometimes he comes down in the morning and is sad - he just wants a girlfriend Lucy Baxter |
Otto decided he would like one friend, Hannah, to be his girlfriend, so he wrote down all the things he would like to do with her. | Otto decided he would like one friend, Hannah, to be his girlfriend, so he wrote down all the things he would like to do with her. |
He said he wrote: "Things I'd like to do with Hannah is have a shower together, wash her back and have a lazy day in bed together. Also go to the cinema and things like that." | He said he wrote: "Things I'd like to do with Hannah is have a shower together, wash her back and have a lazy day in bed together. Also go to the cinema and things like that." |
But Hannah wanted to stay just friends. | But Hannah wanted to stay just friends. |
Otto tried dating agencies, including a "special" one in a bid to meet girls who also had Down's. | Otto tried dating agencies, including a "special" one in a bid to meet girls who also had Down's. |
But Lucy said the girls Otto met there had been "fairly institutionalised" and he "didn't have anything in common" with them. | But Lucy said the girls Otto met there had been "fairly institutionalised" and he "didn't have anything in common" with them. |
When he went on a date with one girl, her carers prevented them from moving the relationship past friendship. | When he went on a date with one girl, her carers prevented them from moving the relationship past friendship. |
Ideal girl | Ideal girl |
"What 21-year-old would put up with that?" said Lucy. | "What 21-year-old would put up with that?" said Lucy. |
"Unfortunately Otto is caught between two different worlds, two different cultures. | "Unfortunately Otto is caught between two different worlds, two different cultures. |
"One is a very disabled culture where everything is special and you're treated like a child and the girls there very often have been treated like kids. | "One is a very disabled culture where everything is special and you're treated like a child and the girls there very often have been treated like kids. |
"This is dying out now and I think a lot of young parents of people with Down's syndrome want different things for their children. They want equality." | "This is dying out now and I think a lot of young parents of people with Down's syndrome want different things for their children. They want equality." |
Lucy said it is not just about getting her son sex. | Lucy said it is not just about getting her son sex. |
"Sometimes he comes down in the morning and is sad. He just wants a girlfriend." | "Sometimes he comes down in the morning and is sad. He just wants a girlfriend." |
Otto concurs. "I really do," he said. | |
And his ideal girl? TV presenter Fearne Cotton. |
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