Read one of Katie's novels?We like to pretend to have read great literature to sound clever. But what about those well-thumbed novels we HAVE read, but are less keen to mention? Time to 'fess up.
Read one of Katie's novels?We like to pretend to have read great literature to sound clever. But what about those well-thumbed novels we HAVE read, but are less keen to mention? Time to 'fess up.
At 3.1m characters, some 560,000 words and 1,400 pages, it's tempting to lie about having read War and Peace. After all, what are the chances the target of your fib has ploughed through the Russian masterpiece themselves?
At 3.1m characters, some 560,000 words and 1,400 pages, it's tempting to lie about having read War and Peace. After all, what are the chances the target of your fib has ploughed through the Russian masterpiece themselves?
Why do so many of us lie about our literary conquests? It's down to a conquest of a different kind - psychologists say many people hope that pretending to have read heavyweight books will make them more sexually attractive.
Why do so many of us lie about our literary conquests? It's down to a conquest of a different kind - psychologists say many people hope that pretending to have read heavyweight books will make them more sexually attractive.
According to a World Book Day survey, 1984, War and Peace and Ulysses are the favoured white lies.
According to a World Book Day survey, 1984, War and Peace and Ulysses are the favoured white lies.
If these are thought to have the power to impress, what about books we do read but are too embarrassing to own up to? One would certainly not want to bring this up at dinner parties, but on my bedside table right now, there's Sleep With Me by Joanna Briscoe and Nicci French's Killing Me Softly John Sutherland
If these are thought to have the power to impress, what about books we do read but are too embarrassing to own up to? One would certainly not want to bring this up at dinner parties, but on my bedside table right now, there's Sleep With Me by Joanna Briscoe and Nicci French's Killing Me Softly John Sutherland
The impressively well-read John Sutherland (he's knocked off Tolstoy's greatest hit several times) is an author, academic and critic, but even he has a few skeletons in his literary closet.
The impressively well-read John Sutherland (he's knocked off Tolstoy's greatest hit several times) is an author, academic and critic, but even he has a few skeletons in his literary closet.
"Wild horses wouldn't get me to say this in public, but I am rather partial to Jilly Cooper. I think it's partly that she has a gap in her front teeth like me, and it stares out from her books," he admits under interrogation.
"Wild horses wouldn't get me to say this in public, but I am rather partial to Jilly Cooper. I think it's partly that she has a gap in her front teeth like me, and it stares out from her books," he admits under interrogation.
Lying in bed is Sutherland's favourite place to indulge this passion - and Cooper is not his only guilty pleasure.
Lying in bed is Sutherland's favourite place to indulge this passion - and Cooper is not his only guilty pleasure.
"One would certainly not want to bring this up at dinner parties, but if, for instance, you look at my bedside table right now, there's Robert Crais' Demolition Angel, Sleep With Me by Joanna Briscoe, The Long Rain by Peter Gadol and Nicci French's Killing Me Softly."
"One would certainly not want to bring this up at dinner parties, but if, for instance, you look at my bedside table right now, there's Robert Crais' Demolition Angel, Sleep With Me by Joanna Briscoe, The Long Rain by Peter Gadol and Nicci French's Killing Me Softly."
Pedigree airport novels, the lot.
Pedigree airport novels, the lot.
"You're not going to write that are you? I'm an academic with a reputation to uphold, remember."
"You're not going to write that are you? I'm an academic with a reputation to uphold, remember."
Sorry, but it wouldn't be much of a confessional if we didn't.
Sorry, but it wouldn't be much of a confessional if we didn't.
Private shame
Private shame
Sutherland strongly believes the departure lounge is the place to discover people's inner literary secrets. They let down their guard, he says, just in case the book they choose may be their last.
Sutherland strongly believes the departure lounge is the place to discover people's inner literary secrets. They let down their guard, he says, just in case the book they choose may be their last.
As a frequent flyer, his comfort fiction of choice is the latest pulp crime novel, the creation of "publishing machine, not man".
As a frequent flyer, his comfort fiction of choice is the latest pulp crime novel, the creation of "publishing machine, not man".
He is in good company. Books no-one will praise in public have long flown mysteriously off the shelves to be enjoyed in private. Sutherland mentions Mickey Spillane, whose pulp novels were derided in the 1940s but incredibly popular.
He is in good company. Books no-one will praise in public have long flown mysteriously off the shelves to be enjoyed in private. Sutherland mentions Mickey Spillane, whose pulp novels were derided in the 1940s but incredibly popular.
"It's strange how embarrassed you get about what you're reading or enjoying. There's always this feeling that there's this school mistress over your shoulder grading you," says Sutherland.
"It's strange how embarrassed you get about what you're reading or enjoying. There's always this feeling that there's this school mistress over your shoulder grading you," says Sutherland.
"There's really only three private acts left and reading is one of them - what one does in private is very different to what one will own up to in public.
"There's really only three private acts left and reading is one of them - what one does in private is very different to what one will own up to in public.
"Of course, I'm only speaking for myself here. All other academics, I'm quite sure, will only go to bed with Finnegan's Wake and Proust."
"Of course, I'm only speaking for myself here. All other academics, I'm quite sure, will only go to bed with Finnegan's Wake and Proust."
Share your own dirty literary secrets, using the form below.
Share your own dirty literary secrets, using the form below.
I'd never read them in public, but on my shelves at home there's a veritable plethora of chick lit, including the entire Shopaholic series by Sophie Kinsella. That, and Take A Break magazine.Becky Simms, Witney, UK
I'd never read them in public, but on my shelves at home there's a veritable plethora of chick lit, including the entire Shopaholic series by Sophie Kinsella. That, and Take A Break magazine.Becky Simms, Witney, UK
Although I'm not a heavyweight intellectual reader (Kate Atkinson and David Mitchell are my favourite authors) I do try not to read complete trash anymore. I have several old favourite comfort reads - Rosamunde Pilcher, Marian Keyes and the older Maeve Binchys - but I am not at all ashamed of these. What I AM ashamed of is the fact I read (and owned) the entire Sweet Valley High series when I was teenager. Makes Jilly Cooper seem high-brow by comparison.Too ashamed to say, Guiltville
Although I'm not a heavyweight intellectual reader (Kate Atkinson and David Mitchell are my favourite authors) I do try not to read complete trash anymore. I have several old favourite comfort reads - Rosamunde Pilcher, Marian Keyes and the older Maeve Binchys - but I am not at all ashamed of these. What I AM ashamed of is the fact I read (and owned) the entire Sweet Valley High series when I was teenager. Makes Jilly Cooper seem high-brow by comparison.Too ashamed to say, Guiltville
I've worked in a number of places with a reading shelf in the canteen or lunch area. It's amazing the tosh that turns up. But I would sit and read over lunch anyway. Don't ask me to remember a single title, but I know I've read plenty of Mills & Boon.Caroline, Rochester
I've worked in a number of places with a reading shelf in the canteen or lunch area. It's amazing the tosh that turns up. But I would sit and read over lunch anyway. Don't ask me to remember a single title, but I know I've read plenty of Mills & Boon.Caroline, Rochester
When I was ten or eleven, I wrote a book report for school on Mein Kampf. What on earth can I have been thinking? I doubt that even Goebbels read that book. Anyway, my teacher had a good laugh and I was cured of literary lies for life. War and Peace? Never got past the first five pages.Curt Carpenter, Dallas, Texas US
When I was ten or eleven, I wrote a book report for school on Mein Kampf. What on earth can I have been thinking? I doubt that even Goebbels read that book. Anyway, my teacher had a good laugh and I was cured of literary lies for life. War and Peace? Never got past the first five pages.Curt Carpenter, Dallas, Texas US
I also read (and occasionally write) fan-fiction. Anon, because well, who admits to reading fanfiction?Anne Onymous, Marcarbia
I also read (and occasionally write) fan-fiction. Anon, because well, who admits to reading fanfiction?Anne Onymous, Marcarbia
A friend tried to convince me to read Andy McNab once. The unbearable shame I felt whenever I caught someone spying at my spine caused me to give it back to him after only a few dozen pages. And it's very big print in an Andy McNab book, so that wasn't far at all!Adam Kidd, Brighton
A friend tried to convince me to read Andy McNab once. The unbearable shame I felt whenever I caught someone spying at my spine caused me to give it back to him after only a few dozen pages. And it's very big print in an Andy McNab book, so that wasn't far at all!Adam Kidd, Brighton
I'm another bloke who's read rather a lot of Jilly Cooper and will occasionally revisit them when my brain's dead. Also, Jackie Collins lurks somewhere in my bedroom. That thought alone should terrify me shouldn't it? I'll get my bookjacket...Daniel, London
I'm another bloke who's read rather a lot of Jilly Cooper and will occasionally revisit them when my brain's dead. Also, Jackie Collins lurks somewhere in my bedroom. That thought alone should terrify me shouldn't it? I'll get my bookjacket...Daniel, London
I don't think people should be ashamed of anything they have read - it's just society putting pressure on them to read books which are "intellectual" rather than something which they WANT to read. For example, if I told someone I had read Virginia Woolf's To The Lighthouse (which I have), and then also told them that I'd read the whole Clarice Bean series (which I have), some people wouldn't know what they were, others would think that it was amazing I'd read Virginia because she is "classic" and the books are "intellectual" and other people would smite me for reading Clarice Bean. Be proud of anything you have read! We all have different tastes and should NOT be ashamed of anything we like.John H, Rotherham
I don't think people should be ashamed of anything they have read - it's just society putting pressure on them to read books which are "intellectual" rather than something which they WANT to read. For example, if I told someone I had read Virginia Woolf's To The Lighthouse (which I have), and then also told them that I'd read the whole Clarice Bean series (which I have), some people wouldn't know what they were, others would think that it was amazing I'd read Virginia because she is "classic" and the books are "intellectual" and other people would smite me for reading Clarice Bean. Be proud of anything you have read! We all have different tastes and should NOT be ashamed of anything we like.John H, Rotherham
I write trashy books. My mother keeps asking why I can't "write something of value instead of that junk." I keep telling her it's because the trashy books sell.Marna Martin, Atlanta, USA
Jeffrey Archer & Harold Robbins. I also enjoy Robert Ludlum - better plots but worse technical writing skills than Tom Clancy - and have a good collection of the recent crop of cod-archaeological thrillers spawned in the wake of Dan Brown's stuff (and yes, I've read that too).Megan, Cheshire
