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| Version 0 | Version 1 |
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| Gone from 'a lover to a carer' | Gone from 'a lover to a carer' |
| (about 4 hours later) | |
| By Jane Dreaper Health correspondent, BBC News | By Jane Dreaper Health correspondent, BBC News |
| John Suchet is now caring for his wife, Bonnie, after she developed dementia | John Suchet is now caring for his wife, Bonnie, after she developed dementia |
| He has reported on momentous events such as the revolution in Iran, and he's won awards as a newsreader. | He has reported on momentous events such as the revolution in Iran, and he's won awards as a newsreader. |
| Now John Suchet is talking publicly for the first time about one of the toughest events in his life. | Now John Suchet is talking publicly for the first time about one of the toughest events in his life. |
| Dementia is slowly robbing him of his wife of more than 20 years, Bonnie. | Dementia is slowly robbing him of his wife of more than 20 years, Bonnie. |
| He told BBC News: "I've gone from being a lover to a carer." | He told BBC News: "I've gone from being a lover to a carer." |
| She began to develop symptoms of the devastating brain disease in her early 60s, and is now aged 67. | She began to develop symptoms of the devastating brain disease in her early 60s, and is now aged 67. |
| She was diagnosed with dementia three years ago, after sporadic instances of forgetfulness and confusion. | She was diagnosed with dementia three years ago, after sporadic instances of forgetfulness and confusion. |
| Doctors think Bonnie Suchet has Alzheimer's disease. Her husband prefers to call it "the A word". | Doctors think Bonnie Suchet has Alzheimer's disease. Her husband prefers to call it "the A word". |
| 'Love and cherish' | 'Love and cherish' |
| Mr Suchet, 64, said: "By and large, her morale is good. She's happy. She smiles at me. | Mr Suchet, 64, said: "By and large, her morale is good. She's happy. She smiles at me. |
| "I should be grateful because she's co-operative most of the time. | "I should be grateful because she's co-operative most of the time. |
| "I promised myself after the diagnosis, 'Right, John, you will be an understanding husband - you will love and cherish your wife.' FROM THE TODAY PROGRAMME class="" href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/default.stm">More from Today programme | |
| "Life isn't that simple. Every now and then, you just explode. | "Life isn't that simple. Every now and then, you just explode. |
| "It's a culmination of little things - dinner plates going straight back onto the shelf instead of going into the dishwasher or being wiped dry while they were still dirty." | "It's a culmination of little things - dinner plates going straight back onto the shelf instead of going into the dishwasher or being wiped dry while they were still dirty." |
| Mr Suchet has been able to air his distress and guilt by meeting regularly with an Admiral Nurse, who is a specialist nurse working with dementia sufferers but particularly their carers. | Mr Suchet has been able to air his distress and guilt by meeting regularly with an Admiral Nurse, who is a specialist nurse working with dementia sufferers but particularly their carers. |
| Guilty feelings | Guilty feelings |
| The nurse, Ian Weatherhead, said: "I first met John and Bonnie two years ago. At that time, he needed a release. | The nurse, Ian Weatherhead, said: "I first met John and Bonnie two years ago. At that time, he needed a release. |
| "There was frustration in trying to manage Bonnie's behaviour, and also denial about Alzheimer's disease, and confusion about what it meant. I keep thinking I'm a complete failure and I'm useless at being a carer John Suchet | |
| "John comes to see me down at my office - and sometimes I see him at home, so I can monitor Bonnie and see what's changed for her. | "John comes to see me down at my office - and sometimes I see him at home, so I can monitor Bonnie and see what's changed for her. |
| "I've yet to meet a carer who hasn't shouted, sworn or got angry at the person they're looking after - and then felt guilty. Families row. It's a normal part of life. | "I've yet to meet a carer who hasn't shouted, sworn or got angry at the person they're looking after - and then felt guilty. Families row. It's a normal part of life. |
| "And yet people feel so bad about it when they're caring for someone with dementia, because they're exhibiting emotions to someone who can't understand or comprehend what's going on. | "And yet people feel so bad about it when they're caring for someone with dementia, because they're exhibiting emotions to someone who can't understand or comprehend what's going on. |
| "John's a great guy to work with - and being the journalist he is, he takes copious notes on everything we talk about." | "John's a great guy to work with - and being the journalist he is, he takes copious notes on everything we talk about." |
| Limited nursing | Limited nursing |
| Mr Suchet is taking part in a fundraising event in central London, in aid of For Dementia, the charity which funds Admiral Nurses. | Mr Suchet is taking part in a fundraising event in central London, in aid of For Dementia, the charity which funds Admiral Nurses. |
| He has access to the specialist help because he lives in a part of London where the NHS has paid for eight such nurses. | He has access to the specialist help because he lives in a part of London where the NHS has paid for eight such nurses. |
| There are only about 70 Admiral Nurses in England, and one service in north Wales, in Flintshire. Scotland doesn't yet have any. | There are only about 70 Admiral Nurses in England, and one service in north Wales, in Flintshire. Scotland doesn't yet have any. |
| Mr Suchet said: "There should be 70,000 of them.The Suchets got married more than 20 years ago | Mr Suchet said: "There should be 70,000 of them.The Suchets got married more than 20 years ago |
| "The best bit of advice Ian gave me was to beat the living daylights out of a cushion every now and then. It works. | "The best bit of advice Ian gave me was to beat the living daylights out of a cushion every now and then. It works. |
| "I keep thinking I'm a complete failure and I'm useless at being a carer. But Ian tells me I'm actually doing quite well." | "I keep thinking I'm a complete failure and I'm useless at being a carer. But Ian tells me I'm actually doing quite well." |
| The former ITN correspondent and newsreader is still presenting a daily live quiz show, Going for Gold, on Five. | The former ITN correspondent and newsreader is still presenting a daily live quiz show, Going for Gold, on Five. |
| He told me the work is "good therapy". | He told me the work is "good therapy". |
| He adores classical music and has written five books about Beethoven. All are dedicated to Bonnie. | He adores classical music and has written five books about Beethoven. All are dedicated to Bonnie. |
| It is of huge sadness to Mr Suchet that his wife can no longer share what used to be a joint passion. | It is of huge sadness to Mr Suchet that his wife can no longer share what used to be a joint passion. |
| He said: "We went to every place that Beethoven ever went to that is still there to be seen. She loved it. I loved it. | He said: "We went to every place that Beethoven ever went to that is still there to be seen. She loved it. I loved it. |
| "But now she looks at the books and she says, 'Bloody Beethoven - I've had enough of him.' | "But now she looks at the books and she says, 'Bloody Beethoven - I've had enough of him.' |
| "I have to stop myself from saying, 'You weren't like that before.' I have to remind myself it's not my Bonnie who's talking. | "I have to stop myself from saying, 'You weren't like that before.' I have to remind myself it's not my Bonnie who's talking. |
| "She's gone. And yet she's physically still there." | "She's gone. And yet she's physically still there." |