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After a Lifetime Together, Coronavirus Takes Them Both After a Lifetime Together, Coronavirus Takes Them Both
(3 days later)
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For most of her life, Maranda Lender, 32, has lived with her parents in Lewisberry, Pa.For most of her life, Maranda Lender, 32, has lived with her parents in Lewisberry, Pa.
An only child, she grew up doted on by a mother and father who took her to golf lessons, soccer games and orchestra rehearsals (Maranda played the viola). After she graduated from design school, she moved back home in 2014 to save money.An only child, she grew up doted on by a mother and father who took her to golf lessons, soccer games and orchestra rehearsals (Maranda played the viola). After she graduated from design school, she moved back home in 2014 to save money.
But the family-of-three configuration imploded last month.But the family-of-three configuration imploded last month.
Maranda’s mother, Becky Lender, 61, died on April 4. Her father, Brad Lender, 60, died three days later. Both had tested positive for the coronavirus.Maranda’s mother, Becky Lender, 61, died on April 4. Her father, Brad Lender, 60, died three days later. Both had tested positive for the coronavirus.
“I’m alone,” Maranda said.“I’m alone,” Maranda said.
One of the cruelties of the coronavirus is the way it sweeps through homes, passing from person to person, compounding the burdens and anxieties of relatives who are either prevented from giving physical and emotional care to their loved ones, or must risk getting sick themselves to do so.One of the cruelties of the coronavirus is the way it sweeps through homes, passing from person to person, compounding the burdens and anxieties of relatives who are either prevented from giving physical and emotional care to their loved ones, or must risk getting sick themselves to do so.
The cruelty is darker when both partners in a couple die, often within a few days of each other. It’s the coronavirus version of dying of a broken heart, but the cause of death isn’t a metaphor. It’s a pandemic.The cruelty is darker when both partners in a couple die, often within a few days of each other. It’s the coronavirus version of dying of a broken heart, but the cause of death isn’t a metaphor. It’s a pandemic.
There is no reliable data tracking the number of couples dying from coronavirus complications, but cases have cropped up in news reports across the country. Last month, a couple in Louisiana, married for 64 years, died within 10 days of each other. The virus took a Milwaukee couple two months shy of their 65th anniversary, and a couple in Connecticut that had celebrated theirs. A couple from the Chicago area who were married nearly six decades died a few hours apart. A Florida couple married a half-century died six minutes apart.There is no reliable data tracking the number of couples dying from coronavirus complications, but cases have cropped up in news reports across the country. Last month, a couple in Louisiana, married for 64 years, died within 10 days of each other. The virus took a Milwaukee couple two months shy of their 65th anniversary, and a couple in Connecticut that had celebrated theirs. A couple from the Chicago area who were married nearly six decades died a few hours apart. A Florida couple married a half-century died six minutes apart.
Stephen R. Kemp, director of the Kemp Funeral Home in Southfield, Mich., made arrangements for 64 people who died last month of Covid-19 — including three married couples.Stephen R. Kemp, director of the Kemp Funeral Home in Southfield, Mich., made arrangements for 64 people who died last month of Covid-19 — including three married couples.
“Entire households are becoming ill, and then the deaths of husbands and wives become a part of this crisis,” said Mr. Kemp, who has been a funeral director for 36 years. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”“Entire households are becoming ill, and then the deaths of husbands and wives become a part of this crisis,” said Mr. Kemp, who has been a funeral director for 36 years. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
Every long-term couple has a distinct story of love and commitment. For the Lenders, the story took them from a family living room where they were married to interstate motorcycle rides in search of the perfect hot dog.Every long-term couple has a distinct story of love and commitment. For the Lenders, the story took them from a family living room where they were married to interstate motorcycle rides in search of the perfect hot dog.
Dr. Delutha King Jr. and Lois King had their own narrative, 60 years in the making and winding from the South Side of Chicago to Tuskegee, Ala., and then Atlanta, with excursions to South Africa and South America. But it ended just as the Lenders’ did.Dr. Delutha King Jr. and Lois King had their own narrative, 60 years in the making and winding from the South Side of Chicago to Tuskegee, Ala., and then Atlanta, with excursions to South Africa and South America. But it ended just as the Lenders’ did.
Dr. King died in early April at the age of 96 and was buried on April 10. An hour after the graveside service, the couple’s son, Ron Loving, heard his phone ring.Dr. King died in early April at the age of 96 and was buried on April 10. An hour after the graveside service, the couple’s son, Ron Loving, heard his phone ring.
The call came from Arbor Terrace at Cascade, the assisted living residence facility in Atlanta that Mr. Loving, 77, had moved his parents into last summer: His mother had died, too.The call came from Arbor Terrace at Cascade, the assisted living residence facility in Atlanta that Mr. Loving, 77, had moved his parents into last summer: His mother had died, too.
“For her to pass the day we lay my granddaddy to rest,” said their granddaughter, Kristie Taylor, “it was like, ‘Wow, you two really were inseparable.’”“For her to pass the day we lay my granddaddy to rest,” said their granddaughter, Kristie Taylor, “it was like, ‘Wow, you two really were inseparable.’”
The Kings both tested positive for Covid-19.The Kings both tested positive for Covid-19.
Lois and Dee, as Dr. King was known to friends, met in 1960 at a cocktail party in Chicago. She was 36, a dental hygienist and divorced mother raised on a corn and tobacco farm in Ahoskie, N.C. He was a World War II veteran who attended college and medical school after the war, and had just completed a residency in surgical urology at Howard University College of Medicine in Washington.Lois and Dee, as Dr. King was known to friends, met in 1960 at a cocktail party in Chicago. She was 36, a dental hygienist and divorced mother raised on a corn and tobacco farm in Ahoskie, N.C. He was a World War II veteran who attended college and medical school after the war, and had just completed a residency in surgical urology at Howard University College of Medicine in Washington.
They were married within six months, and he quickly became a surrogate father, and then just a father, to Mr. Loving.They were married within six months, and he quickly became a surrogate father, and then just a father, to Mr. Loving.
The family moved to Tuskegee, Ala., where Dr. King worked at a V.A. hospital, and then to Atlanta, where Dr. King began building a medical practice in 1966.The family moved to Tuskegee, Ala., where Dr. King worked at a V.A. hospital, and then to Atlanta, where Dr. King began building a medical practice in 1966.
Mrs. King delighted in being a doctor’s wife, having supper on the table when he arrived home, playing bridge and raising money for organizations they both cared about, like the Sickle Cell Foundation of Georgia, which Dr. King helped found.Mrs. King delighted in being a doctor’s wife, having supper on the table when he arrived home, playing bridge and raising money for organizations they both cared about, like the Sickle Cell Foundation of Georgia, which Dr. King helped found.
At night they would watch “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,” sitting in the built-in recliners at either end of their couch and reaching their arms toward the middle, over the newspapers they had been reading, to hold hands.At night they would watch “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,” sitting in the built-in recliners at either end of their couch and reaching their arms toward the middle, over the newspapers they had been reading, to hold hands.
They visited Barbados and Venezuela, traveled through the Panama Canal, and took a cruise through Europe with their best friends, Dr. Clinton E. Warner Jr. and Sally Warner. In the mid-90s, after Nelson Mandela was elected president of South Africa, the two couples traveled there to take part in the historic moment. The trip ended with a safari.They visited Barbados and Venezuela, traveled through the Panama Canal, and took a cruise through Europe with their best friends, Dr. Clinton E. Warner Jr. and Sally Warner. In the mid-90s, after Nelson Mandela was elected president of South Africa, the two couples traveled there to take part in the historic moment. The trip ended with a safari.
Dee, who had majored in zoology as an undergraduate at Case Western Reserve University, loved the excursion. Lois, who longed for air-conditioning, tolerated it.Dee, who had majored in zoology as an undergraduate at Case Western Reserve University, loved the excursion. Lois, who longed for air-conditioning, tolerated it.
“She was very opinionated,” said Mrs. Warner, 73. “If Lois thought something, she would say it. If Dee thought something, he would think about it long and hard.”“She was very opinionated,” said Mrs. Warner, 73. “If Lois thought something, she would say it. If Dee thought something, he would think about it long and hard.”
The Kings were part of Atlanta’s African-American professional elite. Their social circle included Andrew Young, the former mayor and ambassador to the United Nations. They celebrated the new year at the home of Billye and Hank Aaron, the Hall of Fame baseball player and executive, who helped Dr. King raise money to fight sickle-cell anemia.The Kings were part of Atlanta’s African-American professional elite. Their social circle included Andrew Young, the former mayor and ambassador to the United Nations. They celebrated the new year at the home of Billye and Hank Aaron, the Hall of Fame baseball player and executive, who helped Dr. King raise money to fight sickle-cell anemia.
The Kings’ son, Mr. Loving, an Army veteran and former Atlanta police officer who had a long second career as a news cameraman for WXIA in Atlanta, revered his parents.The Kings’ son, Mr. Loving, an Army veteran and former Atlanta police officer who had a long second career as a news cameraman for WXIA in Atlanta, revered his parents.
His wife, Freda Loving, remembers that when she and Ron began to date seriously in 2012, he told her, “I want us to be like my mom and dad.”His wife, Freda Loving, remembers that when she and Ron began to date seriously in 2012, he told her, “I want us to be like my mom and dad.”
As the Kings slipped into old age, Lois developed dementia and Dee had Parkinson’s disease. Their son visited them daily and arranged for visiting nursing aides, so that his parents could keep living in their house for as long as possible.As the Kings slipped into old age, Lois developed dementia and Dee had Parkinson’s disease. Their son visited them daily and arranged for visiting nursing aides, so that his parents could keep living in their house for as long as possible.
But by last year, it was clear that it was no longer safe for them to live independently. That’s when they moved into Arbor Terrace. “They were still going to be together, that was the important thing.” Mr. Loving said.But by last year, it was clear that it was no longer safe for them to live independently. That’s when they moved into Arbor Terrace. “They were still going to be together, that was the important thing.” Mr. Loving said.
When you are 77 and your parents are 96, Mr. Loving said, you know that their deaths will come. But to lose them in such rapid succession, and have the virus deny him the chance to comfort them at the end or give them proper funerals to celebrate their lives,  particularly his father’s career and civil rights achievements — he found that hard to cope with.When you are 77 and your parents are 96, Mr. Loving said, you know that their deaths will come. But to lose them in such rapid succession, and have the virus deny him the chance to comfort them at the end or give them proper funerals to celebrate their lives,  particularly his father’s career and civil rights achievements — he found that hard to cope with.
“This has been devastating,” Mr. Loving said.“This has been devastating,” Mr. Loving said.
Almost 800 miles to the north, Maranda Lender is living through similar pain. “It’s the worst kind of situation,” she said.Almost 800 miles to the north, Maranda Lender is living through similar pain. “It’s the worst kind of situation,” she said.
Brad and Becky Lender’s life together wasn’t always easy. He had health issues, including diabetes and a hip injury that in recent years had left him unable to work. The couple squabbled often and fought some, most recently about Maranda’s fiancé, whom Mr. Lender gave a hard time.Brad and Becky Lender’s life together wasn’t always easy. He had health issues, including diabetes and a hip injury that in recent years had left him unable to work. The couple squabbled often and fought some, most recently about Maranda’s fiancé, whom Mr. Lender gave a hard time.
“It’s not like their marriage was a love story, because it was not,” said Bonnie Hammaker, one of Becky Lender’s sisters. “But they were committed to the marriage. You would never find them holding hands, but you would always find them together.”“It’s not like their marriage was a love story, because it was not,” said Bonnie Hammaker, one of Becky Lender’s sisters. “But they were committed to the marriage. You would never find them holding hands, but you would always find them together.”
They were both raised in Enola, Pa., and were married in 1986. Their life revolved around family and work. He was a forklift operator. She was a clerk at the New Cumberland Army Depot, a job she left when Maranda was born in 1988 and then reclaimed several years later. She added a second job as a cashier at Karns Foods to help send Maranda, now a graphic designer, to Pennsylvania College of Art and Design.They were both raised in Enola, Pa., and were married in 1986. Their life revolved around family and work. He was a forklift operator. She was a clerk at the New Cumberland Army Depot, a job she left when Maranda was born in 1988 and then reclaimed several years later. She added a second job as a cashier at Karns Foods to help send Maranda, now a graphic designer, to Pennsylvania College of Art and Design.
Sue Hutchison, Ms. Lender’s boss at the depot and a close friend, said Becky loved meeting new people.Sue Hutchison, Ms. Lender’s boss at the depot and a close friend, said Becky loved meeting new people.
Updated June 2, 2020 Updated June 5, 2020
The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April.
Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission.Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission.
Exercise researchers and physicians have some blunt advice for those of us aiming to return to regular exercise now: Start slowly and then rev up your workouts, also slowly. American adults tended to be about 12 percent less active after the stay-at-home mandates began in March than they were in January. But there are steps you can take to ease your way back into regular exercise safely. First, “start at no more than 50 percent of the exercise you were doing before Covid,” says Dr. Monica Rho, the chief of musculoskeletal medicine at the Shirley Ryan AbilityLab in Chicago. Thread in some preparatory squats, too, she advises. “When you haven’t been exercising, you lose muscle mass.” Expect some muscle twinges after these preliminary, post-lockdown sessions, especially a day or two later. But sudden or increasing pain during exercise is a clarion call to stop and return home.Exercise researchers and physicians have some blunt advice for those of us aiming to return to regular exercise now: Start slowly and then rev up your workouts, also slowly. American adults tended to be about 12 percent less active after the stay-at-home mandates began in March than they were in January. But there are steps you can take to ease your way back into regular exercise safely. First, “start at no more than 50 percent of the exercise you were doing before Covid,” says Dr. Monica Rho, the chief of musculoskeletal medicine at the Shirley Ryan AbilityLab in Chicago. Thread in some preparatory squats, too, she advises. “When you haven’t been exercising, you lose muscle mass.” Expect some muscle twinges after these preliminary, post-lockdown sessions, especially a day or two later. But sudden or increasing pain during exercise is a clarion call to stop and return home.
States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people.States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people.
Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks.Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks.
Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days.Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days.
If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.)If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.)
More than 40 million people — the equivalent of 1 in 4 U.S. workers — have filed for unemployment benefits since the pandemic took hold. One in five who were working in February reported losing a job or being furloughed in March or the beginning of April, data from a Federal Reserve survey released on May 14 showed, and that pain was highly concentrated among low earners. Fully 39 percent of former workers living in a household earning $40,000 or less lost work, compared with 13 percent in those making more than $100,000, a Fed official said.
Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications.Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications.
The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing.The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing.
If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.
If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested.If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested.
“She had a magnet for the needful souls,” said Ms. Hutchison, 63. “We’d be sitting somewhere eating and I would leave the table, and when I would come back, she would know the life story of the person sitting next to us. I’d say, ‘Dude, how could you do that? I went to the bathroom for five minutes!’ She had that kind of draw.”“She had a magnet for the needful souls,” said Ms. Hutchison, 63. “We’d be sitting somewhere eating and I would leave the table, and when I would come back, she would know the life story of the person sitting next to us. I’d say, ‘Dude, how could you do that? I went to the bathroom for five minutes!’ She had that kind of draw.”
The Lenders spent free time motorcycle-cruising and driving vintage fire trucks owned by Mr. Lender’s uncle in parades and expos all over Pennsylvania. “They were into racing, dirt tracks, NASCAR, they did a lot with the fire company, they had a ton of friends,” Ms. Hammaker said.The Lenders spent free time motorcycle-cruising and driving vintage fire trucks owned by Mr. Lender’s uncle in parades and expos all over Pennsylvania. “They were into racing, dirt tracks, NASCAR, they did a lot with the fire company, they had a ton of friends,” Ms. Hammaker said.
Over the winter they had made plans for a trip to Cincinnati to visit the zoo, which they had seen on a favorite program on the Animal Planet channel. They were supposed to go the weekend of May 9, to celebrate their 34th anniversary. “It would have been the first vacation that they had together in my entire life,” Maranda Lender said.Over the winter they had made plans for a trip to Cincinnati to visit the zoo, which they had seen on a favorite program on the Animal Planet channel. They were supposed to go the weekend of May 9, to celebrate their 34th anniversary. “It would have been the first vacation that they had together in my entire life,” Maranda Lender said.
But Covid-19 intervened.But Covid-19 intervened.
On March 21, Becky Lender told her daughter she had a fever. Neither woman was particularly worried, Maranda said. But the next day, Maranda and her father had developed fevers as well.On March 21, Becky Lender told her daughter she had a fever. Neither woman was particularly worried, Maranda said. But the next day, Maranda and her father had developed fevers as well.
The next day, a Monday, Becky went to the family doctor and was tested for Covid-19. There was a six-day wait for the results, so she went home to rest. A few days later, she had terrible diarrhea and was nearly incapacitated. Her husband took her to the emergency room.The next day, a Monday, Becky went to the family doctor and was tested for Covid-19. There was a six-day wait for the results, so she went home to rest. A few days later, she had terrible diarrhea and was nearly incapacitated. Her husband took her to the emergency room.
Doctors gave her anti-nausea medicine and sent her home again, where Maranda waited, fighting a high fever that made her sweat and shiver. (All three Lenders ultimately tested positive for Covid-19.)Doctors gave her anti-nausea medicine and sent her home again, where Maranda waited, fighting a high fever that made her sweat and shiver. (All three Lenders ultimately tested positive for Covid-19.)
Ms. Lender continued to get worse. On March 29, Maranda heard her mother get out of bed and then collapse. She called 911. Becky Lender was admitted to the hospital and put on a ventilator.Ms. Lender continued to get worse. On March 29, Maranda heard her mother get out of bed and then collapse. She called 911. Becky Lender was admitted to the hospital and put on a ventilator.
On April 1, as Maranda and her father continued to deal with their own symptoms, the family doctor called Maranda and said Mr. Lender needed to go to the hospital as well. An ambulance was called. One of the EMTs had also been to the house three days earlier to take her mother.On April 1, as Maranda and her father continued to deal with their own symptoms, the family doctor called Maranda and said Mr. Lender needed to go to the hospital as well. An ambulance was called. One of the EMTs had also been to the house three days earlier to take her mother.
That night, Mr. Lender called his daughter from the hospital. “They want to put me in a coma and stick me on a ventilator,” he told her. “I just want you to know that I love you and that I always have.”That night, Mr. Lender called his daughter from the hospital. “They want to put me in a coma and stick me on a ventilator,” he told her. “I just want you to know that I love you and that I always have.”
“I love you too, Dad,” Maranda replied. “You’re going to be home soon, and you’re going to be fine.”“I love you too, Dad,” Maranda replied. “You’re going to be home soon, and you’re going to be fine.”
She tried to set aside her anxiety. “Both my parents are in the I.C.U. on ventilators, and I’m not well myself,” Maranda remembered thinking. “I was alone. You go into survival mode: ‘What is it that I need to do for me right now?’”She tried to set aside her anxiety. “Both my parents are in the I.C.U. on ventilators, and I’m not well myself,” Maranda remembered thinking. “I was alone. You go into survival mode: ‘What is it that I need to do for me right now?’”
Her mother’s condition was worsening. Maranda had a conference call with her aunt Bonnie Hammaker and her mother’s doctors. “They said, ‘It’s not looking good, and we think at this point you may need to just make peace with it,’” Maranda recalled.Her mother’s condition was worsening. Maranda had a conference call with her aunt Bonnie Hammaker and her mother’s doctors. “They said, ‘It’s not looking good, and we think at this point you may need to just make peace with it,’” Maranda recalled.
The next day, nurses brought an iPad to her mother’s bedside and put Maranda on speaker. “I told her that I loved her,” Maranda said. “I said, ‘I don’t want you to suffer and I don’t want you to be in pain. Go take care of Dad.’”The next day, nurses brought an iPad to her mother’s bedside and put Maranda on speaker. “I told her that I loved her,” Maranda said. “I said, ‘I don’t want you to suffer and I don’t want you to be in pain. Go take care of Dad.’”
Becky Lender died about an hour later. Her siblings, including Ms. Hammaker, went to their mother’s assisted living residence in Harrisburg, Pa., which is under quarantine. “I had to tell my 85-year-old mother that her daughter died, through a window,” Ms. Hammaker said.Becky Lender died about an hour later. Her siblings, including Ms. Hammaker, went to their mother’s assisted living residence in Harrisburg, Pa., which is under quarantine. “I had to tell my 85-year-old mother that her daughter died, through a window,” Ms. Hammaker said.
Back at home, Maranda Lender was fielding more hospital phone calls. On April 7, a doctor treating her father called and said that the ventilator was merely prolonging the inevitable. “Give him eight hours to fight,” she told the doctor. “If he is worse in eight hours, we should look into making him comfortable.” Her father died about 10 hours later.Back at home, Maranda Lender was fielding more hospital phone calls. On April 7, a doctor treating her father called and said that the ventilator was merely prolonging the inevitable. “Give him eight hours to fight,” she told the doctor. “If he is worse in eight hours, we should look into making him comfortable.” Her father died about 10 hours later.
In the weeks since then, Maranda has been hunkering down in the house she is now afraid to leave, healing physically from the virus and trying to manage its emotional toll. At moments, she has found dark humor in the situation, imagining her father tracking down her mother in heaven and her mother telling her father, “Brad, you only gave me a three-day break!”In the weeks since then, Maranda has been hunkering down in the house she is now afraid to leave, healing physically from the virus and trying to manage its emotional toll. At moments, she has found dark humor in the situation, imagining her father tracking down her mother in heaven and her mother telling her father, “Brad, you only gave me a three-day break!”
Maranda also has been scrubbing the house, and this week she finally let Aunt Bonnie and her husband come into the house, masked and gloved, to help disinfect the place and look for a will.Maranda also has been scrubbing the house, and this week she finally let Aunt Bonnie and her husband come into the house, masked and gloved, to help disinfect the place and look for a will.
And she has been FaceTiming with her fiancé, whom she hasn’t seen in person since mid-March because she is terrified that she could spread the virus to him, too.And she has been FaceTiming with her fiancé, whom she hasn’t seen in person since mid-March because she is terrified that she could spread the virus to him, too.
“We have the idea of next year getting married on May 9, their anniversary date,” Maranda said. “Every time we celebrate for us, we can celebrate for them, too.”“We have the idea of next year getting married on May 9, their anniversary date,” Maranda said. “Every time we celebrate for us, we can celebrate for them, too.”