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As the Coronavirus Rages, Birthday Parties Celebrate Life in Isolation As the Coronavirus Rages, Birthday Parties Celebrate Life in Isolation
(2 months later)
It was just before 8 a.m. on March 19 when Alexondra Purnomo, a schoolteacher in Rome, decided that all rules were off. She was under coronavirus lockdown, but it was her birthday.It was just before 8 a.m. on March 19 when Alexondra Purnomo, a schoolteacher in Rome, decided that all rules were off. She was under coronavirus lockdown, but it was her birthday.
So Ms. Purnomo, 38, and a roommate opened a bottle of prosecco for breakfast. Later, she slipped away for a furtive meeting on Via della Villa di Lucina, where another friend handed off — without touching — a slice of birthday tiramisù.So Ms. Purnomo, 38, and a roommate opened a bottle of prosecco for breakfast. Later, she slipped away for a furtive meeting on Via della Villa di Lucina, where another friend handed off — without touching — a slice of birthday tiramisù.
Back at home, as Ms. Purnomo sat down to lunch, her roommate turned her laptop around to face her and there they were: nearly a dozen friends arrayed on Zoom, wishing Ms. Purnomo a happy birthday. One wore a boa. They sang, held up signs and raised glasses in toasts.Back at home, as Ms. Purnomo sat down to lunch, her roommate turned her laptop around to face her and there they were: nearly a dozen friends arrayed on Zoom, wishing Ms. Purnomo a happy birthday. One wore a boa. They sang, held up signs and raised glasses in toasts.
“Everybody was eating whatever they were eating, and chatting, and everybody obviously was drinking, because we are all in quarantine anyway,” she said.“Everybody was eating whatever they were eating, and chatting, and everybody obviously was drinking, because we are all in quarantine anyway,” she said.
This is a birthday party in the era of the coronavirus, when families and friends are marking another year of life with newfound gratitude, in joyful defiance of the virus that is denying it to so many.This is a birthday party in the era of the coronavirus, when families and friends are marking another year of life with newfound gratitude, in joyful defiance of the virus that is denying it to so many.
The pandemic has upended traditional celebrations in ways that reflect the need for social distancing, the difficulty of travel and the hard realities of supply shortages.The pandemic has upended traditional celebrations in ways that reflect the need for social distancing, the difficulty of travel and the hard realities of supply shortages.
Families and friends, who previously celebrated in person, are now meeting in the virtual world. Children, who frolicked in party spaces or apartments in past years, are now contained in a grid on Zoom — still boisterous, but at least there is less to clean up.Families and friends, who previously celebrated in person, are now meeting in the virtual world. Children, who frolicked in party spaces or apartments in past years, are now contained in a grid on Zoom — still boisterous, but at least there is less to clean up.
Pictures of gifts delayed in transit are printed out and wrapped up as place holders. Custom cakes are left on doorsteps. Packages are wiped down. Magic shows are performed online.Pictures of gifts delayed in transit are printed out and wrapped up as place holders. Custom cakes are left on doorsteps. Packages are wiped down. Magic shows are performed online.
In interviews, more than a dozen people who had recently planned or celebrated their birthdays agreed that they were lucky to be able to have a party, no matter how transformed or downgraded, when so many were struggling economically, sick or dying.In interviews, more than a dozen people who had recently planned or celebrated their birthdays agreed that they were lucky to be able to have a party, no matter how transformed or downgraded, when so many were struggling economically, sick or dying.
“Part of it is realizing that celebrations are really, truly, just about love,” said Sarah Frantzreb, a nurse practitioner in New York. For her daughter Sloane’s first birthday, the family planned to decorate her high chair, put a glitter hat on her and wrap toys that had belonged to Ms. Frantzreb’s older child. They invited relatives in three states to a B.Y.O.C. (bring your own cake) party online.“Part of it is realizing that celebrations are really, truly, just about love,” said Sarah Frantzreb, a nurse practitioner in New York. For her daughter Sloane’s first birthday, the family planned to decorate her high chair, put a glitter hat on her and wrap toys that had belonged to Ms. Frantzreb’s older child. They invited relatives in three states to a B.Y.O.C. (bring your own cake) party online.
“Each year, really, is a gift that should be celebrated,” Ms. Frantzreb said.“Each year, really, is a gift that should be celebrated,” Ms. Frantzreb said.
In times of high anxiety and stress, as during a war or a pandemic, adult behavior becomes more ritualized, said Dimitris Xygalatas, a professor of anthropology and psychology at the University of Connecticut. The meaning of birthday parties becomes more poignant, and the more effort they take and more witnesses they have, the greater the sense of importance, he said.In times of high anxiety and stress, as during a war or a pandemic, adult behavior becomes more ritualized, said Dimitris Xygalatas, a professor of anthropology and psychology at the University of Connecticut. The meaning of birthday parties becomes more poignant, and the more effort they take and more witnesses they have, the greater the sense of importance, he said.
“When you can’t have the celebration that you usually have, you are missing the human connection,” Dr. Xygalatas said. “People are finding ways to make up for it, synchronizing activities so it feels like we are one.”“When you can’t have the celebration that you usually have, you are missing the human connection,” Dr. Xygalatas said. “People are finding ways to make up for it, synchronizing activities so it feels like we are one.”
Among the ways people have found: the drive-by party, in which children wave from cars rolling past the house of the birthday boy or girl, who is watching from inside. There is also the walk-by party, such as the one Zane Chester, a 6-year-old in Illinois, had on March 24.Among the ways people have found: the drive-by party, in which children wave from cars rolling past the house of the birthday boy or girl, who is watching from inside. There is also the walk-by party, such as the one Zane Chester, a 6-year-old in Illinois, had on March 24.
His mother, Kimberly Chester, thought of the idea while on the daily stroll her family had been taking through their Deerfield neighborhood since the shutdown. A day before Zane’s birthday, she asked neighbors on Facebook to put signs in their windows in bold letters, so he could see them as he walked by.His mother, Kimberly Chester, thought of the idea while on the daily stroll her family had been taking through their Deerfield neighborhood since the shutdown. A day before Zane’s birthday, she asked neighbors on Facebook to put signs in their windows in bold letters, so he could see them as he walked by.
The community responded. On their walk through the neighborhood on the big day, the Chester family found cars festooned with balloons and birthday messages in chalk on the sidewalk. One woman left a cake, with Batman in fondant, on her porch. Some greeted Zane from the threshold of their front doors.The community responded. On their walk through the neighborhood on the big day, the Chester family found cars festooned with balloons and birthday messages in chalk on the sidewalk. One woman left a cake, with Batman in fondant, on her porch. Some greeted Zane from the threshold of their front doors.
“It was like personalized trick-or-treating,” Ms. Chester said.“It was like personalized trick-or-treating,” Ms. Chester said.
And then there is the stand-by party. In New York City, participants at a birthday block party recently stood — six feet apart — outside the building of a friend to wish her well. In Stamford, Conn., on March 22, Liatte Lasher, a teacher, and her friends drove in seven cars and remained parked outside the home of another friend, who turned 35 that day.And then there is the stand-by party. In New York City, participants at a birthday block party recently stood — six feet apart — outside the building of a friend to wish her well. In Stamford, Conn., on March 22, Liatte Lasher, a teacher, and her friends drove in seven cars and remained parked outside the home of another friend, who turned 35 that day.
They wore hats, and blew into noisemakers. “People are looking to do something a little more special this year,” she said.They wore hats, and blew into noisemakers. “People are looking to do something a little more special this year,” she said.
Elizabeth Shepherd, 35, a Brooklyn car service owner, canceled a resort trip for her March 26 birthday. She stayed home, grateful for the company of her wife, Mona, and the music they enjoyed together. “I am happy to be not sick, that is for sure,” Ms. Shepherd said.Elizabeth Shepherd, 35, a Brooklyn car service owner, canceled a resort trip for her March 26 birthday. She stayed home, grateful for the company of her wife, Mona, and the music they enjoyed together. “I am happy to be not sick, that is for sure,” Ms. Shepherd said.
Updated June 2, 2020
Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission.
Exercise researchers and physicians have some blunt advice for those of us aiming to return to regular exercise now: Start slowly and then rev up your workouts, also slowly. American adults tended to be about 12 percent less active after the stay-at-home mandates began in March than they were in January. But there are steps you can take to ease your way back into regular exercise safely. First, “start at no more than 50 percent of the exercise you were doing before Covid,” says Dr. Monica Rho, the chief of musculoskeletal medicine at the Shirley Ryan AbilityLab in Chicago. Thread in some preparatory squats, too, she advises. “When you haven’t been exercising, you lose muscle mass.” Expect some muscle twinges after these preliminary, post-lockdown sessions, especially a day or two later. But sudden or increasing pain during exercise is a clarion call to stop and return home.
States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people.
Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks.
Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days.
If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.)
More than 40 million people — the equivalent of 1 in 4 U.S. workers — have filed for unemployment benefits since the pandemic took hold. One in five who were working in February reported losing a job or being furloughed in March or the beginning of April, data from a Federal Reserve survey released on May 14 showed, and that pain was highly concentrated among low earners. Fully 39 percent of former workers living in a household earning $40,000 or less lost work, compared with 13 percent in those making more than $100,000, a Fed official said.
Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications.
The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing.
If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.
If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested.
The shape of pandemic birthdays, especially for older people, can be dictated by risk tolerance. Siri Bjerknes Ekeberg, who lives in Oslo, said she, her husband and their children lit candles stuck in brownies from their home while her mother-in-law, who turned 74 on March 23, watched on FaceTime from hers, safely distant out of concern for her health.The shape of pandemic birthdays, especially for older people, can be dictated by risk tolerance. Siri Bjerknes Ekeberg, who lives in Oslo, said she, her husband and their children lit candles stuck in brownies from their home while her mother-in-law, who turned 74 on March 23, watched on FaceTime from hers, safely distant out of concern for her health.
“We would have been together if it was not for this,” Ms. Ekeberg said.“We would have been together if it was not for this,” Ms. Ekeberg said.
In New York City, Nadia Nguyen was creating a “Pandemic Cookbook” as a gift for her husband’s 35th birthday. It was to be a compilation of recipes from friends using ingredients they had scrounged up in their kitchens. Ms. Nguyen’s own entry was mac ’n’ cheese, with kale pesto she and her husband discovered in the freezer.In New York City, Nadia Nguyen was creating a “Pandemic Cookbook” as a gift for her husband’s 35th birthday. It was to be a compilation of recipes from friends using ingredients they had scrounged up in their kitchens. Ms. Nguyen’s own entry was mac ’n’ cheese, with kale pesto she and her husband discovered in the freezer.
“Especially now, it is important to acknowledge the passing of time,” Ms. Nguyen said.“Especially now, it is important to acknowledge the passing of time,” Ms. Nguyen said.
According to Tim Reeskens, a sociology professor at Tilburg University in the Netherlands, a person’s birth date defines rites of passage, the sequence of generations and the expectations of aging. The birthday celebration, he added, is the most individualized of a society’s annual rituals.According to Tim Reeskens, a sociology professor at Tilburg University in the Netherlands, a person’s birth date defines rites of passage, the sequence of generations and the expectations of aging. The birthday celebration, he added, is the most individualized of a society’s annual rituals.
“As societies become more economically wealthy, people put more emphasis on self-expression,” Dr. Reeskens said. “It has to do with increased individualization.”“As societies become more economically wealthy, people put more emphasis on self-expression,” Dr. Reeskens said. “It has to do with increased individualization.”
Teresa Chi, 39, a New York City-based teacher, and her husband, Ryan Bagg, took up guitars and a tambourine to celebrate their son Rowan’s fourth birthday. His previous parties have been crowded affairs, with children and adults in the park or at his grandparents’ building.Teresa Chi, 39, a New York City-based teacher, and her husband, Ryan Bagg, took up guitars and a tambourine to celebrate their son Rowan’s fourth birthday. His previous parties have been crowded affairs, with children and adults in the park or at his grandparents’ building.
But this month, it was just the four of them, including 1-year-old Josh, in their apartment. On the morning of Rowan’s birthday, they woke him up with four candles in a slice of coffeecake. His gift, bath toys ordered online, had been delivered. Videos, messages and singing Animojis trickled in throughout the day from friends and relatives far away.But this month, it was just the four of them, including 1-year-old Josh, in their apartment. On the morning of Rowan’s birthday, they woke him up with four candles in a slice of coffeecake. His gift, bath toys ordered online, had been delivered. Videos, messages and singing Animojis trickled in throughout the day from friends and relatives far away.
“You do what you can,” Ms. Chi said. “I am sure he still felt that he had his birthday. But it wasn’t the same.”“You do what you can,” Ms. Chi said. “I am sure he still felt that he had his birthday. But it wasn’t the same.”