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A Good Death Is a Rite of Irish Life. Amid Coronavirus, That Looks Different. A Good Death Is a Rite of Irish Life. Amid Coronavirus, That Looks Different.
(about 13 hours later)
When Betty Ryan died at her home in rural Ireland of complications from cancer last week, her family was understandably distraught.When Betty Ryan died at her home in rural Ireland of complications from cancer last week, her family was understandably distraught.
And compounding their grief was a question that is now arising for families around the country: What would they do about her wake and funeral?And compounding their grief was a question that is now arising for families around the country: What would they do about her wake and funeral?
Like so many rites in Irish life, death is a social event as much as it is a time of mourning. But a ban on large gatherings because of the coronavirus outbreak has meant that funeral rituals have to be rethought.Like so many rites in Irish life, death is a social event as much as it is a time of mourning. But a ban on large gatherings because of the coronavirus outbreak has meant that funeral rituals have to be rethought.
Betty was the first person in the village of Ballyferriter, in County Kerry, to die since measures intended to stop the virus’s spread were introduced, and the family feared that their matriarch would not receive a proper send-off.Betty was the first person in the village of Ballyferriter, in County Kerry, to die since measures intended to stop the virus’s spread were introduced, and the family feared that their matriarch would not receive a proper send-off.
As her family left a nearly empty church after a private funeral service, they saw their neighbors and friends lining the village street, standing at least six feet apart, dotted along the mile-long route from the church to the graveyard.As her family left a nearly empty church after a private funeral service, they saw their neighbors and friends lining the village street, standing at least six feet apart, dotted along the mile-long route from the church to the graveyard.
And they were singing: “Oro se do bheatha bhaile” — “A Song to Sing You Home.”And they were singing: “Oro se do bheatha bhaile” — “A Song to Sing You Home.”
“It was so raw,” said Carol Ryan, Betty’s eldest daughter. “It was amazing.”“It was so raw,” said Carol Ryan, Betty’s eldest daughter. “It was amazing.”
Despite initially small numbers of confirmed coronavirus cases, Ireland has banned large gatherings, closed schools, pubs, gyms and nonessential shops and urged people to distance themselves socially in an effort to prevent a larger outbreak.Despite initially small numbers of confirmed coronavirus cases, Ireland has banned large gatherings, closed schools, pubs, gyms and nonessential shops and urged people to distance themselves socially in an effort to prevent a larger outbreak.
The measures were put into place more than a week before neighboring Britain, and local reports indicate that much of Ireland has largely complied. But these changes have meant an end to the community-centered wakes and funerals that define end-of-life rituals in the country.The measures were put into place more than a week before neighboring Britain, and local reports indicate that much of Ireland has largely complied. But these changes have meant an end to the community-centered wakes and funerals that define end-of-life rituals in the country.
Communities all over the world are grappling with the new normal in places where public life is coming to a halt. And at a time when the possibility of death pervades the public and private spheres to a degree largely unknown outside wartime, people are having to rethink how they bury their dead.Communities all over the world are grappling with the new normal in places where public life is coming to a halt. And at a time when the possibility of death pervades the public and private spheres to a degree largely unknown outside wartime, people are having to rethink how they bury their dead.
The Irish wake, rooted in Roman Catholic tradition, has a certain formula to it — a routine built into the muscle memory of how a family, and a place, grieves. It’s a communal goodbye.The Irish wake, rooted in Roman Catholic tradition, has a certain formula to it — a routine built into the muscle memory of how a family, and a place, grieves. It’s a communal goodbye.
People are waked in their homes, and in most places an entire community visits to pay their respects. “I’m sorry for your troubles” is the common refrain as visitors shake hands with the family, offer embraces and words of comfort, and say a prayer over the body, displayed in an open coffin except in rare circumstances.People are waked in their homes, and in most places an entire community visits to pay their respects. “I’m sorry for your troubles” is the common refrain as visitors shake hands with the family, offer embraces and words of comfort, and say a prayer over the body, displayed in an open coffin except in rare circumstances.
Mourners stay and have tea or a drink, and sit and share memories of the dead as the entire town circles through. Funerals draw equal attention, with packed pews and Communion the norm. Death notices are read out daily on local radio stations, and RIP.ie, a national obituary repository, is widely used.Mourners stay and have tea or a drink, and sit and share memories of the dead as the entire town circles through. Funerals draw equal attention, with packed pews and Communion the norm. Death notices are read out daily on local radio stations, and RIP.ie, a national obituary repository, is widely used.
Now, in a time when the nation has virtually shut down, those death notices have gone from public calls to commiserate with the family to messages like “house private at all times” and notes that funerals will come at a later date.Now, in a time when the nation has virtually shut down, those death notices have gone from public calls to commiserate with the family to messages like “house private at all times” and notes that funerals will come at a later date.
The Irish Association of Funeral Directors, relying on guidance from the country’s public health service, has advised that funerals can be held privately behind closed doors with just family and close friends. But there should be no public advertisement of funeral arrangements, no public reposing or home gatherings, and “social distancing must be maintained with no handshaking or hugging.”The Irish Association of Funeral Directors, relying on guidance from the country’s public health service, has advised that funerals can be held privately behind closed doors with just family and close friends. But there should be no public advertisement of funeral arrangements, no public reposing or home gatherings, and “social distancing must be maintained with no handshaking or hugging.”
Kevin Toolis, a writer who has spent much time reflecting on the Irish way of death, said the virus had put a stop to some of the “implicit therapeutic rituals” that come with mortality.Kevin Toolis, a writer who has spent much time reflecting on the Irish way of death, said the virus had put a stop to some of the “implicit therapeutic rituals” that come with mortality.
“We are forgetting that people die very ordinary deaths — cancer, old age, traffic accidents, heart attacks,” he said. “As they were shaking your hand, they were also sort of doing this incredible sort of grief exercise.”“We are forgetting that people die very ordinary deaths — cancer, old age, traffic accidents, heart attacks,” he said. “As they were shaking your hand, they were also sort of doing this incredible sort of grief exercise.”
The Scottish-born son of Irish parents, Mr. Toolis has become something of an expert on death in Ireland, having written a book on the subject, “My Father’s Wake: How the Irish Teach Us to Live, Love and Die.”The Scottish-born son of Irish parents, Mr. Toolis has become something of an expert on death in Ireland, having written a book on the subject, “My Father’s Wake: How the Irish Teach Us to Live, Love and Die.”
The traditional community-centered wake in the home has remained a tradition in Ireland despite falling out of fashion in much of the West after the 19th century.The traditional community-centered wake in the home has remained a tradition in Ireland despite falling out of fashion in much of the West after the 19th century.
“People say to me, ‘Why do the Irish still do it?’” Mr. Toolis said. “But the real mystery is why everyone else stopped doing it.”“People say to me, ‘Why do the Irish still do it?’” Mr. Toolis said. “But the real mystery is why everyone else stopped doing it.”
He called the scenes from Betty’s funeral in Ballyferriter “a minor act of genius in a small community” and “a tremendous working-class example of social distancing.”He called the scenes from Betty’s funeral in Ballyferriter “a minor act of genius in a small community” and “a tremendous working-class example of social distancing.”
Betty’s family had time to prepare for her death: Three years ago, she was found to have a rare form of blood cancer. Before that, her daughter said, the energetic and outdoorsy grandmother of nine often cycled more than 10 miles a day. She ran a child care center and had a pottery business, but in recent months it had become clear that the illness would claim her life.Betty’s family had time to prepare for her death: Three years ago, she was found to have a rare form of blood cancer. Before that, her daughter said, the energetic and outdoorsy grandmother of nine often cycled more than 10 miles a day. She ran a child care center and had a pottery business, but in recent months it had become clear that the illness would claim her life.
Days before her death, she knew the end was near and told her four children and husband, Denis, that it was time to let her go. Along with coming to terms with that loss, they had to adjust to the fact that her death coincided with the largest social shutdown the world has seen.Days before her death, she knew the end was near and told her four children and husband, Denis, that it was time to let her go. Along with coming to terms with that loss, they had to adjust to the fact that her death coincided with the largest social shutdown the world has seen.
Updated June 12, 2020 Updated June 16, 2020
The coronavirus emergency relief package gives many American workers paid leave if they need to take time off because of the virus. It gives qualified workers two weeks of paid sick leave if they are ill, quarantined or seeking diagnosis or preventive care for coronavirus, or if they are caring for sick family members. It gives 12 weeks of paid leave to people caring for children whose schools are closed or whose child care provider is unavailable because of the coronavirus. It is the first time the United States has had widespread federally mandated paid leave, and includes people who don’t typically get such benefits, like part-time and gig economy workers. But the measure excludes at least half of private-sector workers, including those at the country’s largest employers, and gives small employers significant leeway to deny leave.
So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement.So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement.
Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks.Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks.
A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study.A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study.
The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April.The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April.
Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission.Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission.
Exercise researchers and physicians have some blunt advice for those of us aiming to return to regular exercise now: Start slowly and then rev up your workouts, also slowly. American adults tended to be about 12 percent less active after the stay-at-home mandates began in March than they were in January. But there are steps you can take to ease your way back into regular exercise safely. First, “start at no more than 50 percent of the exercise you were doing before Covid,” says Dr. Monica Rho, the chief of musculoskeletal medicine at the Shirley Ryan AbilityLab in Chicago. Thread in some preparatory squats, too, she advises. “When you haven’t been exercising, you lose muscle mass.” Expect some muscle twinges after these preliminary, post-lockdown sessions, especially a day or two later. But sudden or increasing pain during exercise is a clarion call to stop and return home.
States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people.States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people.
Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days.Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days.
If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.)If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.)
Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications.Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications.
The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing.The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing.
If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.
If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested.If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested.
When Carol’s brother called the local funeral director to tell him of their mother’s death, the undertaker was clear: They were in “uncharted waters.”When Carol’s brother called the local funeral director to tell him of their mother’s death, the undertaker was clear: They were in “uncharted waters.”
“There was definitely a lot of confusion,” Ms. Ryan said, “but also a lot of sadness and support for us.”“There was definitely a lot of confusion,” Ms. Ryan said, “but also a lot of sadness and support for us.”
Then an idea from a local resident, Tor Cotton, began circulating as the family made their arrangements. For Ms. Cotton, it was as much about comforting the Ryan family as it was about ensuring that Betty received a proper send-off and ensuring that space was given for the community to mourn her.Then an idea from a local resident, Tor Cotton, began circulating as the family made their arrangements. For Ms. Cotton, it was as much about comforting the Ryan family as it was about ensuring that Betty received a proper send-off and ensuring that space was given for the community to mourn her.
“I really like the way we handle death here — people are really directly engaged with it,” Ms. Cotton said. “And when somebody dies, there’s a whole process.”“I really like the way we handle death here — people are really directly engaged with it,” Ms. Cotton said. “And when somebody dies, there’s a whole process.”
Without that process, she knew people would be left wishing they could pay tribute to Betty and “let the immediately family know that they care.”Without that process, she knew people would be left wishing they could pay tribute to Betty and “let the immediately family know that they care.”
And so she helped create an opportunity for the larger community to say goodbye. Ms. Cotton sent messages to close neighbors and posted a message on Facebook asking that residents of the town honor Betty and her family by lining the road from the church to the cemetery with one caveat: that they remain more than six feet apart.And so she helped create an opportunity for the larger community to say goodbye. Ms. Cotton sent messages to close neighbors and posted a message on Facebook asking that residents of the town honor Betty and her family by lining the road from the church to the cemetery with one caveat: that they remain more than six feet apart.
“That was beautiful what they did,” Ms. Ryan said. “And it was for Mom. It was because of who she was.”“That was beautiful what they did,” Ms. Ryan said. “And it was for Mom. It was because of who she was.”
Since the video of Betty’s wake spread online, other communities in Ireland have adopted similar send-offs, with neighbors standing watch as the dead make their final journeys.Since the video of Betty’s wake spread online, other communities in Ireland have adopted similar send-offs, with neighbors standing watch as the dead make their final journeys.
Mr. Toolis is confident that the old ways will return when the restrictions are lifted, because they are so hard-wired into Irish life. But for now, communities have to make do.Mr. Toolis is confident that the old ways will return when the restrictions are lifted, because they are so hard-wired into Irish life. But for now, communities have to make do.
“Even in this moment of great fear,” he said, “people have adapted one of the defining rites of their culture in a way that is safe for everyone and an acknowledgment of bereavement and loss.”“Even in this moment of great fear,” he said, “people have adapted one of the defining rites of their culture in a way that is safe for everyone and an acknowledgment of bereavement and loss.”