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| ‘Everything Is a Black Hole’: Mounting Dread in the Age of Coronavirus | ‘Everything Is a Black Hole’: Mounting Dread in the Age of Coronavirus |
| (5 days later) | |
| In a Harlem cafe late last week, a woman reading her cellphone sneezed without covering her mouth. On an ordinary day, the fleeting moment would pass barely noticed. But these are not ordinary days. | In a Harlem cafe late last week, a woman reading her cellphone sneezed without covering her mouth. On an ordinary day, the fleeting moment would pass barely noticed. But these are not ordinary days. |
| The woman’s downward-directed sneeze, in the narrow confines of PROOF Coffee Roasters on Adam Clayton Powell Boulevard, set off a silent chain reaction: A man at the counter cringed; three patrons shot germ-killing stares; and the barista continued her new habit of incessantly wiping counters with bleach and rubbing her hands with sanitizer. Bleach, sanitizer, bleach … | The woman’s downward-directed sneeze, in the narrow confines of PROOF Coffee Roasters on Adam Clayton Powell Boulevard, set off a silent chain reaction: A man at the counter cringed; three patrons shot germ-killing stares; and the barista continued her new habit of incessantly wiping counters with bleach and rubbing her hands with sanitizer. Bleach, sanitizer, bleach … |
| “I’m just sanitizing,” the barista, Lina Vezzani-Katano, said. | “I’m just sanitizing,” the barista, Lina Vezzani-Katano, said. |
| This is life in a pandemic, when the emergence of the potentially fatal coronavirus has spawned strains of uncertainty: about the progression of the new virus, about the government’s response, about the open-ended nature of our altered lifestyles. About one another. | This is life in a pandemic, when the emergence of the potentially fatal coronavirus has spawned strains of uncertainty: about the progression of the new virus, about the government’s response, about the open-ended nature of our altered lifestyles. About one another. |
| The collective mind whirls. Will my mother in her quarantined nursing home be all right? Will my children get sick? Will there be enough hospital beds? Will we see the same high death rate as Italy’s? Do I just have a slight cold, or is it a sign of something else? | The collective mind whirls. Will my mother in her quarantined nursing home be all right? Will my children get sick? Will there be enough hospital beds? Will we see the same high death rate as Italy’s? Do I just have a slight cold, or is it a sign of something else? |
| Even common moments of good will have been modified. During a midmorning Mass last week at Blessed Sacrament Roman Catholic Church on the Upper West Side, the moment eventually came to exchange signs of peace — normally a handshake or a peck on the cheek. Instead, people flashed one another the V-for-victory sign. Just a few days later, Masses were ended entirely. | Even common moments of good will have been modified. During a midmorning Mass last week at Blessed Sacrament Roman Catholic Church on the Upper West Side, the moment eventually came to exchange signs of peace — normally a handshake or a peck on the cheek. Instead, people flashed one another the V-for-victory sign. Just a few days later, Masses were ended entirely. |
| This creeping uncertainty can be fueled by the very steps taken to reassure. President Trump’s declaration of a national emergency; Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo’s dispatch of the National Guard to a “containment zone” in the Westchester city of New Rochelle. Do these steps calm us, or unnerve us? | This creeping uncertainty can be fueled by the very steps taken to reassure. President Trump’s declaration of a national emergency; Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo’s dispatch of the National Guard to a “containment zone” in the Westchester city of New Rochelle. Do these steps calm us, or unnerve us? |
| Nina Haug, a student at the New York University School of Law, seems to embody much of this collective uncertainty. She is 25, bespectacled and hair-bobbed, and grew up near New Orleans. She knows from experience that emergencies like hurricanes mean people either evacuate or hunker down — but always together. | Nina Haug, a student at the New York University School of Law, seems to embody much of this collective uncertainty. She is 25, bespectacled and hair-bobbed, and grew up near New Orleans. She knows from experience that emergencies like hurricanes mean people either evacuate or hunker down — but always together. |
| “Someone is sharing that fear,” Ms. Haug said. “Right now, the reaction is to isolate.” | “Someone is sharing that fear,” Ms. Haug said. “Right now, the reaction is to isolate.” |
| With the law school transitioning to remote instruction, Ms. Haug is confining herself to her Harlem apartment with her dog, Tula, and her cat, Etta. She tries to prepare for exams, presuming they take place. But her thoughts also turn to the well-being of her parents in Louisiana, the four weddings she is invited to in the coming months — and the open-ended reality of living amid a threat that isn’t coming at you like a hurricane. | With the law school transitioning to remote instruction, Ms. Haug is confining herself to her Harlem apartment with her dog, Tula, and her cat, Etta. She tries to prepare for exams, presuming they take place. But her thoughts also turn to the well-being of her parents in Louisiana, the four weddings she is invited to in the coming months — and the open-ended reality of living amid a threat that isn’t coming at you like a hurricane. |
| “I’m not so much scared,” she said. “I’m just really confused. There’s no clear answers, especially beyond the next two weeks. After the two, everything is a black hole.” | “I’m not so much scared,” she said. “I’m just really confused. There’s no clear answers, especially beyond the next two weeks. After the two, everything is a black hole.” |
| This widespread uncertainty is partly rooted in the realization that our cultural clock has been reset, if not broken. | This widespread uncertainty is partly rooted in the realization that our cultural clock has been reset, if not broken. |
| To curtail the coronavirus’s spread, our government and institutions are calling off the community activities by which we measure time. It is as if the month of March — and, so far, a good part of April — has been canceled. | To curtail the coronavirus’s spread, our government and institutions are calling off the community activities by which we measure time. It is as if the month of March — and, so far, a good part of April — has been canceled. |
| The parades that step-dance up our avenues at this time of year have been called off, the colleges that invite tours have shut down and spring-break destinations, like Disneyland, have closed. The Boston Marathon, the Masters golf tournament, the professional basketball and hockey seasons, and even that confirmation of winter’s end — opening day of Major League baseball — have all been suspended or postponed. | The parades that step-dance up our avenues at this time of year have been called off, the colleges that invite tours have shut down and spring-break destinations, like Disneyland, have closed. The Boston Marathon, the Masters golf tournament, the professional basketball and hockey seasons, and even that confirmation of winter’s end — opening day of Major League baseball — have all been suspended or postponed. |
| These events are as much about communal connection as about sports. The N.C.A.A. men’s college basketball tournament, for example, has always been about more than the games played. It has meant filling out brackets and ponying up for the office pool and resurrecting rivalries. With the cancellation of the tournament, everyone lost. | These events are as much about communal connection as about sports. The N.C.A.A. men’s college basketball tournament, for example, has always been about more than the games played. It has meant filling out brackets and ponying up for the office pool and resurrecting rivalries. With the cancellation of the tournament, everyone lost. |
| Lost, too, are moments providing communities with pride of place. In Houston, March means the annual Livestock Show and Rodeo, when the city celebrates its Western roots. This year’s rodeo was in full swing, with barbecue contests and agricultural exhibitions, when officials closed the event on Wednesday, in the middle of its run. | Lost, too, are moments providing communities with pride of place. In Houston, March means the annual Livestock Show and Rodeo, when the city celebrates its Western roots. This year’s rodeo was in full swing, with barbecue contests and agricultural exhibitions, when officials closed the event on Wednesday, in the middle of its run. |
| “These are important symbols, enhancing people’s sense of belonging and community,” Stephen Taylor, a professor and clinical psychologist at the University of British Columbia who has written about the psychology of pandemics. “You take those symbols away, and people are going to feel stressed, and a sense of loss. It’s a real trade-off.” | “These are important symbols, enhancing people’s sense of belonging and community,” Stephen Taylor, a professor and clinical psychologist at the University of British Columbia who has written about the psychology of pandemics. “You take those symbols away, and people are going to feel stressed, and a sense of loss. It’s a real trade-off.” |
| In some parts of the country, this trade-off — wholesale upheaval in the name of containment — may not yet seem real. Even in New York City, where Mayor Bill de Blasio has declared a state of emergency, some people are still packing bars over the weekend. Everyday life may seem just as mundane as it did a month ago, with little on-the-ground indication that the United States is experiencing a pandemic. | In some parts of the country, this trade-off — wholesale upheaval in the name of containment — may not yet seem real. Even in New York City, where Mayor Bill de Blasio has declared a state of emergency, some people are still packing bars over the weekend. Everyday life may seem just as mundane as it did a month ago, with little on-the-ground indication that the United States is experiencing a pandemic. |
| But in places like the state of Washington, where the virus is linked to the death of at least 40 people, including at least 27 at one center for seniors in Kirkland, life has been transformed. Public schools have been shut down at least until late April, and nursing homes are closing their doors to visitors, leaving residents feeling abandoned and families feeling as though they will never hug their loved ones again. | But in places like the state of Washington, where the virus is linked to the death of at least 40 people, including at least 27 at one center for seniors in Kirkland, life has been transformed. Public schools have been shut down at least until late April, and nursing homes are closing their doors to visitors, leaving residents feeling abandoned and families feeling as though they will never hug their loved ones again. |
| Healthcare centers around the country are doing the same, eliciting similar emotions of doubt and fear, of wondering how best to handle what could be life-or-death situations. | Healthcare centers around the country are doing the same, eliciting similar emotions of doubt and fear, of wondering how best to handle what could be life-or-death situations. |
| In central New Jersey, an assisted-living center made the increasingly common decision to stave off contagion by restricting visitors. Art Nacht, a web publisher, worried what this might mean for one of its residents: his father, Alan Nacht. | In central New Jersey, an assisted-living center made the increasingly common decision to stave off contagion by restricting visitors. Art Nacht, a web publisher, worried what this might mean for one of its residents: his father, Alan Nacht. |
| The elder Mr. Nacht, a retired research scientist at Johnson & Johnson, helped to patent the first disposable diapers; he used his own children as test bottoms during development. But now, at 90, he has been in and out of the hospital since having a heart attack last summer. | The elder Mr. Nacht, a retired research scientist at Johnson & Johnson, helped to patent the first disposable diapers; he used his own children as test bottoms during development. But now, at 90, he has been in and out of the hospital since having a heart attack last summer. |
| This presented his son with a difficult decision: Was it better to leave his father in the center, where health care professionals were ever-present? Or would this only increase his father’s risk of being infected, and then stranded, without physical contact to loved ones, if the center blocked visitors altogether? (Which it eventually did.) | This presented his son with a difficult decision: Was it better to leave his father in the center, where health care professionals were ever-present? Or would this only increase his father’s risk of being infected, and then stranded, without physical contact to loved ones, if the center blocked visitors altogether? (Which it eventually did.) |
| On Thursday, Mr. Nacht, 66, moved his father back to his home in Bridgewater Township, where he has a live-in caretaker. This presented a host of logistical challenges — medication, physical therapy, meals — but his father is overjoyed to be home. | On Thursday, Mr. Nacht, 66, moved his father back to his home in Bridgewater Township, where he has a live-in caretaker. This presented a host of logistical challenges — medication, physical therapy, meals — but his father is overjoyed to be home. |
| In the end, Mr. Nacht said that he had no choice. “Not going to abandon him there in a worse incubator than a cruise ship,” he said. | In the end, Mr. Nacht said that he had no choice. “Not going to abandon him there in a worse incubator than a cruise ship,” he said. |
| The coronavirus, and the attendant uncertainty, has affected the body politic; Louisiana and Georgia, for example, have postponed their presidential primary elections. | The coronavirus, and the attendant uncertainty, has affected the body politic; Louisiana and Georgia, for example, have postponed their presidential primary elections. |
| It has also affected matters of the spirit, and of the heart. | It has also affected matters of the spirit, and of the heart. |
| On Friday, a school guidance counselor named Anselm Scrubb packed the last of his groceries into his car outside the Ideal Food Basket, in the Kensington section of Brooklyn, and prepared for a weekend stripped of an important Sunday family ritual: church. | On Friday, a school guidance counselor named Anselm Scrubb packed the last of his groceries into his car outside the Ideal Food Basket, in the Kensington section of Brooklyn, and prepared for a weekend stripped of an important Sunday family ritual: church. |
| He normally attends the Brooklyn Tabernacle, a nondenominational megachurch in Downtown Brooklyn, where he enjoys the sermons and the fellowship. But the church — along with other religious institutions — has shut down services, leaving Mr. Scrubb feeling a bit adrift. | He normally attends the Brooklyn Tabernacle, a nondenominational megachurch in Downtown Brooklyn, where he enjoys the sermons and the fellowship. But the church — along with other religious institutions — has shut down services, leaving Mr. Scrubb feeling a bit adrift. |
| “They’re my second family,” he said. | “They’re my second family,” he said. |
| And in Atlanta, Sierra Tenhove, 22, and Ruben Jimenez, 23, were looking forward to their church wedding next weekend. But then doubts about the coronavirus crashed the event. | And in Atlanta, Sierra Tenhove, 22, and Ruben Jimenez, 23, were looking forward to their church wedding next weekend. But then doubts about the coronavirus crashed the event. |
| Updated August 17, 2020 | |
| The couple’s initial skepticism about the virus soon morphed into genuine concern. Family members asked for permission not to attend. Their employers said they would have to self-quarantine for two weeks after their honeymoon in the Dominican Republic. The venue for the reception told them they would have to drastically reduce the number of guests. | The couple’s initial skepticism about the virus soon morphed into genuine concern. Family members asked for permission not to attend. Their employers said they would have to self-quarantine for two weeks after their honeymoon in the Dominican Republic. The venue for the reception told them they would have to drastically reduce the number of guests. |
| Even the backup option of getting married in the county courthouse could be foiled, since government offices around the country were being shut down or closed to visitors. | Even the backup option of getting married in the county courthouse could be foiled, since government offices around the country were being shut down or closed to visitors. |
| Finally, Ms. Tenhove and Mr. Jimenez decided to postpone this long-planned wedding of their dreams and to remain as levelheaded as possible during these extraordinary times. | Finally, Ms. Tenhove and Mr. Jimenez decided to postpone this long-planned wedding of their dreams and to remain as levelheaded as possible during these extraordinary times. |
| “Honestly, I don’t know how I’m holding it together,” Ms. Tenhove said. “But I think we are just trying to take it one day at a time and not throw so much on our plate.” | “Honestly, I don’t know how I’m holding it together,” Ms. Tenhove said. “But I think we are just trying to take it one day at a time and not throw so much on our plate.” |
| Just how long churches and schools will be closed — just how long we will be canceling weddings, working from home and practicing “social distancing” — remains open-ended. No one is asking when normality will resume because no one knows, which only exacerbates the jagged sense of living our lives in a constant state of hesitation. | Just how long churches and schools will be closed — just how long we will be canceling weddings, working from home and practicing “social distancing” — remains open-ended. No one is asking when normality will resume because no one knows, which only exacerbates the jagged sense of living our lives in a constant state of hesitation. |
| “When you don’t know what the scale or duration is going to be, it can be very upsetting,” David S. Jones, a professor of the culture of medicine at Harvard University, said. And he spoke from some experience. | “When you don’t know what the scale or duration is going to be, it can be very upsetting,” David S. Jones, a professor of the culture of medicine at Harvard University, said. And he spoke from some experience. |
| The public high school his two children attend in Newton, Mass., has been closed, with no clear answer as to when its doors will reopen. His 11th-grade son’s college tours have been canceled, he said, as have the debate tournaments that both his son and ninth-grade daughter enjoy. | The public high school his two children attend in Newton, Mass., has been closed, with no clear answer as to when its doors will reopen. His 11th-grade son’s college tours have been canceled, he said, as have the debate tournaments that both his son and ninth-grade daughter enjoy. |
| “It’s the uncertainty about what shoe is going to drop next,” he added. “It’s very reminiscent of Sept. 11.” | “It’s the uncertainty about what shoe is going to drop next,” he added. “It’s very reminiscent of Sept. 11.” |
| In New York, at least, there are some similarities between then and now. Fewer people in the streets. Scanning television stations for developments. That sense of shared anxiety. | In New York, at least, there are some similarities between then and now. Fewer people in the streets. Scanning television stations for developments. That sense of shared anxiety. |
| But the World Trade Center catastrophe brought people together, bonding them in grief and survival, elevating a sense of community in the entire country. Many thirsted for and thrived in the company of others. | But the World Trade Center catastrophe brought people together, bonding them in grief and survival, elevating a sense of community in the entire country. Many thirsted for and thrived in the company of others. |
| The coronavirus pandemic has had, by necessity, the opposite effect. Citizens are advised to avoid large gatherings; to sidestep most interpersonal contact; to suppress the human desire to be with one another. | The coronavirus pandemic has had, by necessity, the opposite effect. Citizens are advised to avoid large gatherings; to sidestep most interpersonal contact; to suppress the human desire to be with one another. |
| In Lower Manhattan, the line outside the National 9/11 Memorial and Museum usually winds along several rows before spilling into the plaza. But on Thursday, the crowd-control gates controlled no crowds. | In Lower Manhattan, the line outside the National 9/11 Memorial and Museum usually winds along several rows before spilling into the plaza. But on Thursday, the crowd-control gates controlled no crowds. |
| “With everything going on,” an employee explained. | “With everything going on,” an employee explained. |
| Some of the street vendors who normally try to cash in on the 9/11 good will were selling items of separation instead. Masks, two for $5, and hand sanitizer, $7 for one ounce. | Some of the street vendors who normally try to cash in on the 9/11 good will were selling items of separation instead. Masks, two for $5, and hand sanitizer, $7 for one ounce. |
| The museum, like most others in New York, is now closed to visitors. | The museum, like most others in New York, is now closed to visitors. |
| It is in this age of pandemic that Ms. Haug, the law student living in Harlem, tries her best to set aside all of the uncertainties. In addition to enjoying the company of her cat and dog, she has found comfort in baking, although she has avoided making her signature cakes. | It is in this age of pandemic that Ms. Haug, the law student living in Harlem, tries her best to set aside all of the uncertainties. In addition to enjoying the company of her cat and dog, she has found comfort in baking, although she has avoided making her signature cakes. |
| “I don’t want to bake anything big,” she said. “Because I have no one to share it with.” | “I don’t want to bake anything big,” she said. “Because I have no one to share it with.” |
| Reporting was contributed by Melina Delkic, Manny Fernandez, Ashley Southall, Nikita Stewart, Jack Healy and Michael Rothfeld. | Reporting was contributed by Melina Delkic, Manny Fernandez, Ashley Southall, Nikita Stewart, Jack Healy and Michael Rothfeld. |