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Terry DeCarlo, Gay Leader in the Wake of a Shooting, Dies at 57 Terry DeCarlo, Gay Leader in the Wake of a Shooting, Dies at 57
(3 days later)
Terry DeCarlo, a spokesman for Florida’s L.G.B.T.Q. community who was thrown into the national spotlight in 2016 after the mass killing in a crowded gay nightclub in Orlando, died on Jan. 27 at a hospital in Hollywood, Fla. He was 57. Terry DeCarlo, a spokesman for Florida’s L.G.B.T.Q. community who was thrown into the national spotlight after the mass killing in a crowded gay nightclub in Orlando in 2016, died on Jan. 27 at a hospital in Hollywood, Fla. He was 57.
His husband, Bill Huelsman, said the cause was face and neck cancer.His husband, Bill Huelsman, said the cause was face and neck cancer.
Mr. DeCarlo moved to Orlando in 2014 to become the executive director of the Center, a nonprofit L.G.B.T.Q. advocacy organization. He became a familiar face in his community.Mr. DeCarlo moved to Orlando in 2014 to become the executive director of the Center, a nonprofit L.G.B.T.Q. advocacy organization. He became a familiar face in his community.
But after a gunman opened fire at the nightclub Pulse in the early hours of June 12, 2016, killing 49 people and wounding 53, Mr. DeCarlo was thrust into a role that he could never have imagined, becoming a public source of comfort and information on television and radio news programs while the country mourned the victims of what at the time was the deadliest mass shooting in modern American history. (The next year, 58 people were killed at a country music festival in Las Vegas.) But after a gunman opened fire at the nightclub Pulse in the early hours of June 12, 2016, killing 49 people and wounding 53, Mr. DeCarlo found himself in a role that he could never have imagined — becoming a public source of comfort and information on television and radio news programs while the country mourned the victims of what was at the time the deadliest mass shooting in modern American history. (The next year, 58 people were killed at a country music festival in Las Vegas.)
“Terry was one of the first faces I saw on TV,” Carlos Guillermo Smith, a Democratic member of the Florida House of Representatives, said in a recent interview on the NPR program “All Things Considered.” “It was 7 a.m., and he was already on the ground providing support and comfort to those seeking information, many who would later discover that their loved one was killed in the attack.”“Terry was one of the first faces I saw on TV,” Carlos Guillermo Smith, a Democratic member of the Florida House of Representatives, said in a recent interview on the NPR program “All Things Considered.” “It was 7 a.m., and he was already on the ground providing support and comfort to those seeking information, many who would later discover that their loved one was killed in the attack.”
Mr. DeCarlo had been one of the many people who gathered outside the club by 4:30 a.m., anxiously waiting as the authorities tried to rescue patrons who were still trapped inside. Not until shortly after 5 a.m. — three hours after the shooting began — were the police able to rescue the hostages and kill the shooter. Mr. DeCarlo had been one of many people who gathered outside the club by 4:30 a.m., anxiously waiting as the authorities tried to rescue patrons still trapped inside. Not until shortly after 5 a.m. — three hours after the shooting began — were the police able to rescue the hostages and kill the shooter.
“It was surreal, I felt helpless,” Mr. DeCarlo told The Miami Herald that morning. “I kept thinking, If this is a bad dream, I need to wake up.”“It was surreal, I felt helpless,” Mr. DeCarlo told The Miami Herald that morning. “I kept thinking, If this is a bad dream, I need to wake up.”
He was ushering people inside the Center to meet with grief counselors mere hours after the attack.He was ushering people inside the Center to meet with grief counselors mere hours after the attack.
“We’re hurting, but we’re hurting together,” he said the next day on “The Rachel Maddow Show” on MSNBC, “and we’re standing strong.”“We’re hurting, but we’re hurting together,” he said the next day on “The Rachel Maddow Show” on MSNBC, “and we’re standing strong.”
Mr. DeCarlo spoke on numerous broadcasts in the following days and weeks. Months later, he spoke openly about the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder that he and many others were experiencing in the wake of the attack.Mr. DeCarlo spoke on numerous broadcasts in the following days and weeks. Months later, he spoke openly about the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder that he and many others were experiencing in the wake of the attack.
“In Orlando, you don’t shake hands anymore; you hug,” he said on NPR’s "Morning Edition” in December 2016. “You put your hand out to somebody to shake their hand, and they say, ‘Oh, no, we hug.’”“In Orlando, you don’t shake hands anymore; you hug,” he said on NPR’s "Morning Edition” in December 2016. “You put your hand out to somebody to shake their hand, and they say, ‘Oh, no, we hug.’”
Terry DeCarlo was born Thomas Joseph Nunziato on March 19, 1962, in Bethpage, N.Y., on Long Island, to Mario and Anne (Puglisi) Nunziato. His father worked for Grumman Aerospace; his mother was a dental assistant.Terry DeCarlo was born Thomas Joseph Nunziato on March 19, 1962, in Bethpage, N.Y., on Long Island, to Mario and Anne (Puglisi) Nunziato. His father worked for Grumman Aerospace; his mother was a dental assistant.
Mr. DeCarlo served in the Air Force from 1980 to 1983 as an intelligence operations officer for the Strategic Air Command’s 349th Air Refueling Squadron. He received a bachelor’s degree in communications from the Air Force Academy in 1984. Mr. DeCarlo served in the Air Force from 1980 to 1983. He later moved to New York City and took the stage name DeCarlo while briefly pursuing an acting career. He also started working for the H.I.V./AIDS advocacy group Act Up.
After leaving the Air Force, he moved to New York City and took the stage name DeCarlo while briefly pursuing an acting career. He later started working for the H.I.V./AIDS advocacy group Act Up.
Mr. DeCarlo met Mr. Huelsman in 1996, shortly after moving to South Florida. They had a civil ceremony on Feb. 15, 2003, before same-sex marriage was legal in Florida, and then married under the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree in Manhattan on Dec. 15, 2012.Mr. DeCarlo met Mr. Huelsman in 1996, shortly after moving to South Florida. They had a civil ceremony on Feb. 15, 2003, before same-sex marriage was legal in Florida, and then married under the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree in Manhattan on Dec. 15, 2012.
The couple lived in Wilton Manors, Fla., before moving to Orlando. From 2006 to 2014 Mr. DeCarlo was the development director of Broward House, a nonprofit that helps individuals with H.I.V. and other chronic health issues. The couple lived in Wilton Manors, Fla., before moving to Orlando. From 2006 to 2014, Mr. DeCarlo was the development director of Broward House, a nonprofit that helps individuals with H.I.V. and other chronic health issues.
Before the Pulse shooting, he had announced plans to leave the Center and move to Miami that June for a job as the Southeastern regional director for the AIDS Healthcare Foundation. After the shooting, he decided to stay in Orlando. He continued as the executive director of the Center until July 2017.Before the Pulse shooting, he had announced plans to leave the Center and move to Miami that June for a job as the Southeastern regional director for the AIDS Healthcare Foundation. After the shooting, he decided to stay in Orlando. He continued as the executive director of the Center until July 2017.
In the months after the shooting, Mr. DeCarlo spoke about how his health was deteriorating from stress. He said he had lost 40 pounds. After having a heart attack in May 2017, he decided to step back from his management role at the Center to take over communications there.In the months after the shooting, Mr. DeCarlo spoke about how his health was deteriorating from stress. He said he had lost 40 pounds. After having a heart attack in May 2017, he decided to step back from his management role at the Center to take over communications there.
In July 2018, he and Mr. Huelsman returned to Wilton Manors, where Mr. DeCarlo became the communications manager for the Broward County government.In July 2018, he and Mr. Huelsman returned to Wilton Manors, where Mr. DeCarlo became the communications manager for the Broward County government.
In addition to his husband, he is survived by his mother, Anne Fabrikant; his sisters, Mary Detto and Deborah Waters; and his brother, John Nunziato. His father died in 2004.In addition to his husband, he is survived by his mother, Anne Fabrikant; his sisters, Mary Detto and Deborah Waters; and his brother, John Nunziato. His father died in 2004.
Reaching beyond his community, Mr. DeCarlo had a message for the rest of the nation the day after the Pulse shooting.Reaching beyond his community, Mr. DeCarlo had a message for the rest of the nation the day after the Pulse shooting.
“Grab your loved ones tonight,” he said on the Orlando radio station WMFE. “Say, ‘I love you.’ Hug them. You never know what could happen.”“Grab your loved ones tonight,” he said on the Orlando radio station WMFE. “Say, ‘I love you.’ Hug them. You never know what could happen.”