For Some Jews, a Menorah and a Christmas Tree

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/26/opinion/letters/jews-christmas.html

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To the Editor:

Re “My Jewish Sons Have a Christmas Tree, and I Need to Deal,” by Hanna Ingber (Op-Ed, nytimes.com, Dec. 24):

As a Jewish child growing up in a predominantly Christian community, I always felt a bit deprived at Christmastime. As I entered adulthood and had a home of my own, I opted to have a Christmas tree. After marrying a Jewish man and having children, I had to make a decision about the oft-predicted “confusion” they might experience.

We continued to have a Christmas tree (and the belief in Santa) and used it as the “teachable moment” I think it can and should be. I explained to my children the meaning of Christmas for our Christian friends and their need to be respectful of its holy significance. Then I explained that Christmas is also a season with a spirit of family, friends, giving and sharing. As long as we respected the difference between spiritual symbols and secular symbols, there was no reason we could not share in the joy of this season.

From my understanding, there is nothing religious about a Christmas tree, Santa Claus, family gatherings, supporting charities and exchanging gifts. I had this conversation regularly with my children throughout their childhood and teenage years.

Bringing our story up to the present, my children, both in their mid-20s, have strong, unconflicted Jewish identities. In fact, they are both young professionals working within the Jewish community, my son as a temple youth director and my daughter in Jewish philanthropy. I think this is the optimal win-win outcome.

Susan RobinsonLos Angeles

To the Editor:

I was principal of a public high school that had a student body and staff that was predominantly Jewish. I was a Catholic, so when Christmas came around I was surprised that we decorated a tall Christmas tree in the grand hallway with dreidels. It was a tradition that was continued for many years. I loved it and no one complained.

Year after year, the same group of students who decorated the Christmas tree also begged me to let them go around the school and sing Christmas carols.

Twenty-eight years later, I am still in touch with many of those students via Facebook. They are still Jewish and most have married Jewish spouses and are raising their children in the Jewish tradition.

It was a truly wonderful experience for me and one that I miss every Christmas season.

Hanna, your children will be great and accepting of all people, as it should be.

Bob TerranoEast Windsor, N.J.

To the Editor:

In his essay on the nature of happiness, “Is Anyone Happy Anymore?” (Sunday Review, Dec. 22), Niall Williams refers to the founding of the United States in a startling way. He writes, “I can appreciate that at the beginning of a country — and one as vast and empty as America was — the idea of pursuit, both chase and hunt, of happiness had an invigorating appeal to the founding fathers.”

A vast country, yes; an empty one, no. The land for thousands of years before European settlement and the country’s founding was rich with Native American communities and traditions. Indeed it continues to be, despite the devastating effects of the brutal practices once systematically carried out by whites. Mr. Williams’s statement ignores a great deal of indigenous history.

Barbara J. KingWicomico, Va.The writer is emerita professor of anthropology at William & Mary.

To the Editor:

Re “A Longing for the Lost Landline,” by Roger Cohen (column, nytimes.com, Dec. 20):

As someone who grew up in the age of landlines, I think the nostalgia is overblown. My grandparents lived across the country, and we had a weekly short phone call, payable by the minute. By contrast, I can be in touch with my own grandchildren almost daily on Facetime, and receive a steady stream of family photos on my cellphone. That would have been magic when I was a child.

When I went overseas as a young adult, I stood in line at a pay phone to make a monthly call home to my parents. When my grown children travel, we can text, call and share photos freely with cellphones. And even though I have moved cross-country twice, social media on my smartphone has enabled me to stay informally connected to old friends.

Of course, none of these things replace those precious in-person times together with loved ones, but they sure are a big improvement over landlines.

Julie Hilton DananPleasantville, N.Y.