This article is from the source 'nytimes' and was first published or seen on . It last changed over 40 days ago and won't be checked again for changes.
You can find the current article at its original source at https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/22/smarter-living/9-delightful-tips-for-living-a-smarter-life-in-2020.html
The article has changed 2 times. There is an RSS feed of changes available.
Previous version
1
Next version
Version 0 | Version 1 |
---|---|
9 Delightful Tips for Living a Smarter Life in 2020 | 9 Delightful Tips for Living a Smarter Life in 2020 |
(7 days later) | |
Welcome to the Smarter Living newsletter! Every Monday, S.L. editor Tim Herrera emails readers with tips and advice for living a better, more fulfilling life. Sign up here to get it in your inbox. | Welcome to the Smarter Living newsletter! Every Monday, S.L. editor Tim Herrera emails readers with tips and advice for living a better, more fulfilling life. Sign up here to get it in your inbox. |
Readers of the Smarter Living newsletter know that its third section is quietly one of the best resources for small ideas that can have a huge impact. | Readers of the Smarter Living newsletter know that its third section is quietly one of the best resources for small ideas that can have a huge impact. |
Each week, I invite some of my favorite writers to give easy-to-do tips on everything from getting in your daily veggies to knowing whether you should mix business and friendship. | Each week, I invite some of my favorite writers to give easy-to-do tips on everything from getting in your daily veggies to knowing whether you should mix business and friendship. |
Below are the nine tips that completely blew my mind this year. Some are so obvious you’ll kick yourself for not already doing them, and others are so weird you just have to try them. | Below are the nine tips that completely blew my mind this year. Some are so obvious you’ll kick yourself for not already doing them, and others are so weird you just have to try them. |
By Kathleen Wong | By Kathleen Wong |
As Maroon 5 famously crooned, “Sunday morning, rain is falling, steal some covers, share some skin.” It’s a solid plan for the second weekend day until you look at the clock and realize Monday is just around the corner. The ensuing anxiety has been cleverly dubbed the “Sunday Scaries,” and yes, it’s a real thing. Just ask Twitter. | As Maroon 5 famously crooned, “Sunday morning, rain is falling, steal some covers, share some skin.” It’s a solid plan for the second weekend day until you look at the clock and realize Monday is just around the corner. The ensuing anxiety has been cleverly dubbed the “Sunday Scaries,” and yes, it’s a real thing. Just ask Twitter. |
Such scaries are triggered when we anticipate the end of our precious, limited free time and think about soon having to tackle the responsibilities of the week ahead, according to Melissa Robinson-Brown, a psychologist based in New York. These anxieties are heightened for people who are unhappy in their jobs, so intensely feeling Sunday Scaries is a good reminder to check in with yourself and where you are with your career. | Such scaries are triggered when we anticipate the end of our precious, limited free time and think about soon having to tackle the responsibilities of the week ahead, according to Melissa Robinson-Brown, a psychologist based in New York. These anxieties are heightened for people who are unhappy in their jobs, so intensely feeling Sunday Scaries is a good reminder to check in with yourself and where you are with your career. |
That said, Sunday Scaries can just as easily happen to people who are happy with their jobs. It’s a type of low-level, background anxiety that can hit anyone as Sunday afternoon sunlight recedes beneath the horizon. | That said, Sunday Scaries can just as easily happen to people who are happy with their jobs. It’s a type of low-level, background anxiety that can hit anyone as Sunday afternoon sunlight recedes beneath the horizon. |
To combat the Sunday Scaries, plan an enjoyable (preferably offline) activity or outing, whether it’s as simple as taking a walk or reading a good book, and if it helps you unwind, leave the phone at home. Staying mindful about what’s happening around you will distract you from anxious thoughts about tomorrow. | To combat the Sunday Scaries, plan an enjoyable (preferably offline) activity or outing, whether it’s as simple as taking a walk or reading a good book, and if it helps you unwind, leave the phone at home. Staying mindful about what’s happening around you will distract you from anxious thoughts about tomorrow. |
As the day winds down, set intentions and goals — professionally and in your personal life — for the week. These will help you regain control of your worries and look forward to conquering the week rather than fearing it. | As the day winds down, set intentions and goals — professionally and in your personal life — for the week. These will help you regain control of your worries and look forward to conquering the week rather than fearing it. |
By Anna Goldfarb | By Anna Goldfarb |
I’m always happy to give a morale boost. When a dear friend texted me she was nervous about an important meeting, I replied: “You’ve got this!” along with a thumbs up emoji. | I’m always happy to give a morale boost. When a dear friend texted me she was nervous about an important meeting, I replied: “You’ve got this!” along with a thumbs up emoji. |
However, when another close friend told me she had received some scary medical news, I mindlessly used the same approach. I said, “You’ve got this!” but it didn’t seem to make her feel better. In fact, my words made her withdraw. | However, when another close friend told me she had received some scary medical news, I mindlessly used the same approach. I said, “You’ve got this!” but it didn’t seem to make her feel better. In fact, my words made her withdraw. |
Whitney Goodman, a psychotherapist, calls having an unhelpful cheerful attitude “dismissive positivity.” She explained in an Instagram post how to better respond to someone who’s in pain. | Whitney Goodman, a psychotherapist, calls having an unhelpful cheerful attitude “dismissive positivity.” She explained in an Instagram post how to better respond to someone who’s in pain. |
Instead of saying, “You’ll get over it” to someone in distress, instead say something to impart validation and hope: “This is hard. You’ve done hard things before and I believe in you.” | Instead of saying, “You’ll get over it” to someone in distress, instead say something to impart validation and hope: “This is hard. You’ve done hard things before and I believe in you.” |
“Think happy thoughts!” becomes: “It’s probably pretty hard to be positive right now. I’m putting out good energy into the world for you.” | “Think happy thoughts!” becomes: “It’s probably pretty hard to be positive right now. I’m putting out good energy into the world for you.” |
“Everything happens for a reason!” is updated to: “This doesn’t make sense right now. We’ll sort it all out later.” | “Everything happens for a reason!” is updated to: “This doesn’t make sense right now. We’ll sort it all out later.” |
Once you become familiar with identifying dismissive positivity — also known as toxic positivity — it gets easier to correct. Instead of acknowledging my friend’s anguish, my chipper attitude minimized her anxiety. I can’t change how I made her feel, but I will strive to be more compassionate when people share their despair with me in the future. | Once you become familiar with identifying dismissive positivity — also known as toxic positivity — it gets easier to correct. Instead of acknowledging my friend’s anguish, my chipper attitude minimized her anxiety. I can’t change how I made her feel, but I will strive to be more compassionate when people share their despair with me in the future. |
By Lindsay Mannering | By Lindsay Mannering |
There are all sorts of ways to live a longer and happier life — use CBD, meditate, milk your own oats — but if you believe deep down that eating more vegetables is the key to a healthier lifestyle, this hot arugula hack is for you. | There are all sorts of ways to live a longer and happier life — use CBD, meditate, milk your own oats — but if you believe deep down that eating more vegetables is the key to a healthier lifestyle, this hot arugula hack is for you. |
In about two minutes you can prepare, cook and eat a day’s worth of leafy greens. Use spinach if you don’t mind its fuzzy texture, or baby arugula, which I find far less offensive. | In about two minutes you can prepare, cook and eat a day’s worth of leafy greens. Use spinach if you don’t mind its fuzzy texture, or baby arugula, which I find far less offensive. |
So! You’ve seen the memes, now here’s my bare-bones, let’s-just-eat-these-greens-and-move-on-with-our-day recipe: | So! You’ve seen the memes, now here’s my bare-bones, let’s-just-eat-these-greens-and-move-on-with-our-day recipe: |
Add about a quarter cup of water to any pot or pan. All that matters is that your pot or pan has a lid. | Add about a quarter cup of water to any pot or pan. All that matters is that your pot or pan has a lid. |
Grab a giant, heaping handful of baby arugula (or spinach) and throw it into the pan. Casually sprinkle some more water on top of it. | Grab a giant, heaping handful of baby arugula (or spinach) and throw it into the pan. Casually sprinkle some more water on top of it. |
Turn the burner on high and cover the heap of greens. | Turn the burner on high and cover the heap of greens. |
Uncover it about a minute later and see how it’s doing. It should be shrinking into a dense, nutritious mass of dark green. If not, cover it a little longer. | Uncover it about a minute later and see how it’s doing. It should be shrinking into a dense, nutritious mass of dark green. If not, cover it a little longer. |
After about 90 seconds it’s definitely a wilted pile. | After about 90 seconds it’s definitely a wilted pile. |
Sprinkle some salt or hot sauce on top and eat it right out of the pan. | Sprinkle some salt or hot sauce on top and eat it right out of the pan. |
Hot arugula is best eaten first thing in the morning when you’re not that hungry and when a somewhat cheerless (but super good for you) snack is palatable. Bonus points if you’re able to meditate while flash-steaming your greens. Double bonus points if your photo of it goes viral. | Hot arugula is best eaten first thing in the morning when you’re not that hungry and when a somewhat cheerless (but super good for you) snack is palatable. Bonus points if you’re able to meditate while flash-steaming your greens. Double bonus points if your photo of it goes viral. |
By Lisa Peterson | By Lisa Peterson |
After obsessively writing and rewriting a crucial email in draft mode all day — say, polishing up the cover letter for your job application, or tweaking the language in a pitch — you’ve finally managed to hit send. Congrats! You did it! | After obsessively writing and rewriting a crucial email in draft mode all day — say, polishing up the cover letter for your job application, or tweaking the language in a pitch — you’ve finally managed to hit send. Congrats! You did it! |
If that sense of accomplishment lasts all of 30 seconds before you’re frantically checking (and then rechecking) for a reply, you might need a little help managing the discomfort of waiting. Because, no, staring at a screen and slamming the refresh button all day won’t materialize the desired result. But here are some tips to cope. | If that sense of accomplishment lasts all of 30 seconds before you’re frantically checking (and then rechecking) for a reply, you might need a little help managing the discomfort of waiting. Because, no, staring at a screen and slamming the refresh button all day won’t materialize the desired result. But here are some tips to cope. |
Pick a substitute | Pick a substitute |
Dr. Sarah Frankel, senior clinical psychologist at the Columbia University Clinic for Anxiety and Related Disorders, advises lining up a “replacement behavior” while you wean yourself off the Mail app. Commit to swapping in a new habit that makes you feel good — like texting an old friend — when the urge to recheck your inbox bubbles up. | Dr. Sarah Frankel, senior clinical psychologist at the Columbia University Clinic for Anxiety and Related Disorders, advises lining up a “replacement behavior” while you wean yourself off the Mail app. Commit to swapping in a new habit that makes you feel good — like texting an old friend — when the urge to recheck your inbox bubbles up. |
Interrupt your worry spiral | Interrupt your worry spiral |
If you must be by your computer, disrupt your thoughts by setting a reminder to watch a funny video once an hour. (My suggestion: Search “bat eating grape.”) Better yet, make firm plans to go to the movies or grab a drink with a pal. | If you must be by your computer, disrupt your thoughts by setting a reminder to watch a funny video once an hour. (My suggestion: Search “bat eating grape.”) Better yet, make firm plans to go to the movies or grab a drink with a pal. |
Hang with select friends | Hang with select friends |
Two people venting ad nauseam to one another about shared stressors is called “co-rumination,” and Dr. Frankel warns it can heighten anxiety. Make a conscious effort to lean on friends who won’t drag you into a joint state of panic while you wait. | Two people venting ad nauseam to one another about shared stressors is called “co-rumination,” and Dr. Frankel warns it can heighten anxiety. Make a conscious effort to lean on friends who won’t drag you into a joint state of panic while you wait. |
[Like what you’re reading? Sign up here for the Smarter Living newsletter to get stories like this (and much more!) delivered straight to your inbox every Monday morning.] | [Like what you’re reading? Sign up here for the Smarter Living newsletter to get stories like this (and much more!) delivered straight to your inbox every Monday morning.] |
By Kristi Pahr | By Kristi Pahr |
I’m a huge flake. I make plans with friends and then cancel those plans a lot. As much as I think I would enjoy a night out or a coffee date, as it gets closer, my cancel finger gets itchy. | I’m a huge flake. I make plans with friends and then cancel those plans a lot. As much as I think I would enjoy a night out or a coffee date, as it gets closer, my cancel finger gets itchy. |
It’s not because I don’t want to spend time with my friends, but because going out is exhausting. I’m an introvert, and dealing with crowds of any size or navigating social situations — things that come easy to many people — steal my energy and leave me wanting nothing more than my sofa, a book and some good old-fashioned solitude. Still, let’s face it: Flaking on plans is sometimes … kind of rude. But it doesn’t always have to be! To learn how to flake gracefully, I reached out to Rebecca Newkirk, a clinical social worker based in Washington, D.C., who offers the following tips for how to get out of plans without burning bridges. | It’s not because I don’t want to spend time with my friends, but because going out is exhausting. I’m an introvert, and dealing with crowds of any size or navigating social situations — things that come easy to many people — steal my energy and leave me wanting nothing more than my sofa, a book and some good old-fashioned solitude. Still, let’s face it: Flaking on plans is sometimes … kind of rude. But it doesn’t always have to be! To learn how to flake gracefully, I reached out to Rebecca Newkirk, a clinical social worker based in Washington, D.C., who offers the following tips for how to get out of plans without burning bridges. |
Be honest. Openness invites intimacy. Lying to get out of plans isn’t fair to your friends, and it will leave them questioning your relationship. | Be honest. Openness invites intimacy. Lying to get out of plans isn’t fair to your friends, and it will leave them questioning your relationship. |
Suggest alternatives. If a night out partying sounds horrible, invite your friend over or suggest a more low-key environment. | |
Have an exit strategy. Make sure you have a ride home so you can leave an event if you feel uncomfortable or tired. Let your friends know in advance that you may not stick around for the entire event. | Have an exit strategy. Make sure you have a ride home so you can leave an event if you feel uncomfortable or tired. Let your friends know in advance that you may not stick around for the entire event. |
Communicate openly. Your friends are your friends for a reason. Give them the benefit of the doubt and explain how taxing social situations can be. Let them have the opportunity to understand you a little better. | Communicate openly. Your friends are your friends for a reason. Give them the benefit of the doubt and explain how taxing social situations can be. Let them have the opportunity to understand you a little better. |
By Kat Boogaard | By Kat Boogaard |
When I was an adolescent, I had no problem telling people I hated their suggestion — most clearly evidenced by any shopping trip with my mother, where a chorus of “Ew, mom. I hate that. Put it back” echoed through the clothing racks. | When I was an adolescent, I had no problem telling people I hated their suggestion — most clearly evidenced by any shopping trip with my mother, where a chorus of “Ew, mom. I hate that. Put it back” echoed through the clothing racks. |
But as I grew up and replaced a lot of that angst with a little bit of tact, I realized that politely shooting down someone else’s idea is tough. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to turn down someone’s suggestion without being totally brutal. Here’s my process: | But as I grew up and replaced a lot of that angst with a little bit of tact, I realized that politely shooting down someone else’s idea is tough. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to turn down someone’s suggestion without being totally brutal. Here’s my process: |
Ask a few questions | Ask a few questions |
Do you really hate that idea, or do you just not understand it? Before chiming in with your own thoughts, ask a clarifying question. My favorite is, “What makes you think this is the way to go?” | Do you really hate that idea, or do you just not understand it? Before chiming in with your own thoughts, ask a clarifying question. My favorite is, “What makes you think this is the way to go?” |
Applaud the effort | Applaud the effort |
Oh, the compliment sandwich. Research shows that this age-old strategy of offering criticism between positive comments makes the feedback confusing. I do something a little different. The trick is to compliment the effort, rather than the idea. Try saying something like, “I like that you’re thinking about this … ” | Oh, the compliment sandwich. Research shows that this age-old strategy of offering criticism between positive comments makes the feedback confusing. I do something a little different. The trick is to compliment the effort, rather than the idea. Try saying something like, “I like that you’re thinking about this … ” |
Say why | Say why |
There’s a big difference between saying, “I don’t like this” and saying, “I don’t like this because … ” Too many people skip that second part. You can clearly state your distaste for a suggestion, but make sure you give supporting evidence. | There’s a big difference between saying, “I don’t like this” and saying, “I don’t like this because … ” Too many people skip that second part. You can clearly state your distaste for a suggestion, but make sure you give supporting evidence. |
Pitch your alternative | Pitch your alternative |
You can’t poke holes without being prepared to patch them. Have a suggestion of your own, and be ready to explain why it’s superior. Even better, find a way to pitch your idea as an iteration of the original suggestion. It’s called “plussing,” a feedback technique attributed to Walt Disney. | You can’t poke holes without being prepared to patch them. Have a suggestion of your own, and be ready to explain why it’s superior. Even better, find a way to pitch your idea as an iteration of the original suggestion. It’s called “plussing,” a feedback technique attributed to Walt Disney. |
Terrible ideas are abundant, but these steps can help you avoid being as brutal as I was in countless dressing rooms. (I’m so sorry, Mom.) | Terrible ideas are abundant, but these steps can help you avoid being as brutal as I was in countless dressing rooms. (I’m so sorry, Mom.) |
By Danielle Sepulveres | By Danielle Sepulveres |
I knew I had made a mistake as soon as he answered, “Sure, but you don’t have to pay me.” | I knew I had made a mistake as soon as he answered, “Sure, but you don’t have to pay me.” |
My question: “Can I pay you to create a graphic?” | My question: “Can I pay you to create a graphic?” |
What followed was weeks of my asking if there was a proof I could look at, and his apologizing for the delay, followed by a promise that he’d make time soon and the assurance that no, it wasn’t necessary for me to find someone else. | What followed was weeks of my asking if there was a proof I could look at, and his apologizing for the delay, followed by a promise that he’d make time soon and the assurance that no, it wasn’t necessary for me to find someone else. |
These are tricky waters many of us have tried to navigate: Asking a friend for a business-related favor. Favors from friends — though often asked and promised with the best intentions — can sour a friendship and result in work that doesn’t quite live up to standards but leaves you feeling as if you have no right to complain. | These are tricky waters many of us have tried to navigate: Asking a friend for a business-related favor. Favors from friends — though often asked and promised with the best intentions — can sour a friendship and result in work that doesn’t quite live up to standards but leaves you feeling as if you have no right to complain. |
The solution? Just don’t do it. Paying someone, rather than calling in a favor, lets you dictate your timetable, make specifications in explicit (and annoying) detail, nitpick the work to death and keep at it until you’re completely satisfied — all guilt-free, because someone is being paid for the effort. When there are deadlines, contracts and, most important, payments, the relationship is clear, direct and uncomplicated. | The solution? Just don’t do it. Paying someone, rather than calling in a favor, lets you dictate your timetable, make specifications in explicit (and annoying) detail, nitpick the work to death and keep at it until you’re completely satisfied — all guilt-free, because someone is being paid for the effort. When there are deadlines, contracts and, most important, payments, the relationship is clear, direct and uncomplicated. |
An unpaid favor, while having the veneer of a generous helpful offer, opens the door to a multitude of uncomfortable scenarios. And it’s just as irritating when the roles are reversed. Before I learned to set boundaries, I was often asked to edit writing for friends and falsely assured “it will only take you five minutes!” And because I felt compelled to do a thorough job, I’d spend an hour or more and feel resentful about it. | |
If you need something done, shell out the money or learn how to do it yourself. A free favor never pays off. | If you need something done, shell out the money or learn how to do it yourself. A free favor never pays off. |
By Danielle Campoamor | By Danielle Campoamor |
It’s a common, arguably unavoidable situation: a friend’s career or personal life is advancing while you’re stuck in what feels like an endless loop of 9 to 5 roadblocks and relationship dead-ends. While it’s easy — and normal! — to grow jealous, you can harness that green-eyed monster to propel you toward your elusive goal. | It’s a common, arguably unavoidable situation: a friend’s career or personal life is advancing while you’re stuck in what feels like an endless loop of 9 to 5 roadblocks and relationship dead-ends. While it’s easy — and normal! — to grow jealous, you can harness that green-eyed monster to propel you toward your elusive goal. |
“If you and your friend are doing very similar things, then your friend’s success could be a motivating factor,” said Dr. Venus Mahmoodi, a psychologist. The key is to realize you’re jealous, be happy for your friend, then “sit down and think about the things you like about your life and the things you could change.” A 2006 study published in the Academy of Management Journal found that the juxtaposing feelings of happiness and jealousy can help you better organize your life and fuel your creativity. | “If you and your friend are doing very similar things, then your friend’s success could be a motivating factor,” said Dr. Venus Mahmoodi, a psychologist. The key is to realize you’re jealous, be happy for your friend, then “sit down and think about the things you like about your life and the things you could change.” A 2006 study published in the Academy of Management Journal found that the juxtaposing feelings of happiness and jealousy can help you better organize your life and fuel your creativity. |
If your friend is on a different path but inciting envy nonetheless, those feelings of resentment can still work to your advantage. | If your friend is on a different path but inciting envy nonetheless, those feelings of resentment can still work to your advantage. |
“You need to ask yourself if being similar to your friend is the best route,” Dr. Mahmoodi said. “Or is it possible to find your own way and become successful in what you’re doing.” Your jealousy can then help you get over any anxieties you have over making a necessary change, or help you better manage your expectations and set realistic, personalized goals. | “You need to ask yourself if being similar to your friend is the best route,” Dr. Mahmoodi said. “Or is it possible to find your own way and become successful in what you’re doing.” Your jealousy can then help you get over any anxieties you have over making a necessary change, or help you better manage your expectations and set realistic, personalized goals. |
So the next time a friend’s promotion or engagement sends you down a jealous rabbit hole of self-loathing, use those feelings as a blueprint for your next success. | So the next time a friend’s promotion or engagement sends you down a jealous rabbit hole of self-loathing, use those feelings as a blueprint for your next success. |
By Jolie Kerr | By Jolie Kerr |
By now, you probably know that your phone is extraordinarily dirty. Maybe you’ve read that Time article that declared cellphones are “10 times dirtier than a toilet seat,” or maybe you’re reading this on a phone that’s streaked with visible fingerprints and tiny dots of dried spittle from that sneezing fit you had an hour ago. Or possibly you’re reading this in the bathroom and I needn’t say more! | By now, you probably know that your phone is extraordinarily dirty. Maybe you’ve read that Time article that declared cellphones are “10 times dirtier than a toilet seat,” or maybe you’re reading this on a phone that’s streaked with visible fingerprints and tiny dots of dried spittle from that sneezing fit you had an hour ago. Or possibly you’re reading this in the bathroom and I needn’t say more! |
The bad news is that, indeed, your cellphone is disgusting. The good news is that cleaning it requires nothing more than inexpensive, readily available rubbing alcohol. Which will help to sweeten the next piece of news to share: You need to be cleaning your phone way, way, way more often than you are. Once a week would be good; once a day (yes) would be better. | The bad news is that, indeed, your cellphone is disgusting. The good news is that cleaning it requires nothing more than inexpensive, readily available rubbing alcohol. Which will help to sweeten the next piece of news to share: You need to be cleaning your phone way, way, way more often than you are. Once a week would be good; once a day (yes) would be better. |
While the products are simple, technique is important to preserving the health of your cellphone — don’t spray the rubbing alcohol (or any kind of liquid) directly onto the phone. Rather, apply it to a microfiber cloth and use it to wipe the screen and the back (or case) of the phone. Another good option is to buy a box of pre-moistened alcohol wipes and stash a few individually wrapped packets in a handbag or laptop case for easy cleaning on the go. | While the products are simple, technique is important to preserving the health of your cellphone — don’t spray the rubbing alcohol (or any kind of liquid) directly onto the phone. Rather, apply it to a microfiber cloth and use it to wipe the screen and the back (or case) of the phone. Another good option is to buy a box of pre-moistened alcohol wipes and stash a few individually wrapped packets in a handbag or laptop case for easy cleaning on the go. |
This week, I’ve invited Kara Cutruzzula, who writes the newsletter Brass Ring Daily about work, life and creativity, to share her tip on creating resolutions after the fact. | This week, I’ve invited Kara Cutruzzula, who writes the newsletter Brass Ring Daily about work, life and creativity, to share her tip on creating resolutions after the fact. |
Yeah, yeah, everyone is hurtling toward the New Year — and I support that. As someone whose primary skill is “Futuristic,” at least according to the StrengthsFinder quiz, looking backward is as appetizing as ice cubes on a snow day. | Yeah, yeah, everyone is hurtling toward the New Year — and I support that. As someone whose primary skill is “Futuristic,” at least according to the StrengthsFinder quiz, looking backward is as appetizing as ice cubes on a snow day. |
But then I thought: What actually happened this year? My memory was mush. That’s why I invented my own “retroactive resolutions” for the past year. Your life has probably also changed in subtle, strange or surprising ways that wildly diverged from your “real” resolutions. So let’s find them. | But then I thought: What actually happened this year? My memory was mush. That’s why I invented my own “retroactive resolutions” for the past year. Your life has probably also changed in subtle, strange or surprising ways that wildly diverged from your “real” resolutions. So let’s find them. |
Search your 2019 calendar or planner for events and opportunities you couldn’t have anticipated back on Jan. 1. Survey your work life, your creative life, your emotional and physical health. Maybe you didn’t expect to start a new job, hop to a different state or take on a fresh project. Perhaps you adopted better work habits, a decent skincare routine or you finally showed up to the dentist. You could have become good friends with strangers, or let good friends become strangers. You might have grown obsessed with cycling or visited a national park or scurried away for a long weekend. Maybe you recommitted to reading or knitting or learning Italian or eating at least three salads a week. And it’s likely you were resilient in the face of loss or trauma or difficult moments. | Search your 2019 calendar or planner for events and opportunities you couldn’t have anticipated back on Jan. 1. Survey your work life, your creative life, your emotional and physical health. Maybe you didn’t expect to start a new job, hop to a different state or take on a fresh project. Perhaps you adopted better work habits, a decent skincare routine or you finally showed up to the dentist. You could have become good friends with strangers, or let good friends become strangers. You might have grown obsessed with cycling or visited a national park or scurried away for a long weekend. Maybe you recommitted to reading or knitting or learning Italian or eating at least three salads a week. And it’s likely you were resilient in the face of loss or trauma or difficult moments. |
These can all be resolutions. Unplanned, unwritten and sometimes, at the end of a year, still unfolding. But take a moment to look at what you accomplished. Maybe 2020 won’t feel like the start of a new decade you must bend to your will. Maybe it can simply be the beginning of resolutions and possibilities you can’t even imagine. | These can all be resolutions. Unplanned, unwritten and sometimes, at the end of a year, still unfolding. But take a moment to look at what you accomplished. Maybe 2020 won’t feel like the start of a new decade you must bend to your will. Maybe it can simply be the beginning of resolutions and possibilities you can’t even imagine. |
Previous version
1
Next version