A mea culpa from Pharrell Williams? Truly we live in an era of delayed woke

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/oct/19/mea-culpa-from-pharrell-williams-we-live-in-era-of-delayed-woke

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Musician Pharrell Williams says he is now “embarrassed” by Blurred Lines, his controversial hit with Robin Thicke. He says that he has only belatedly realised that such sentiments as “I know you want it” and guest rapper TI’s lyric: “I’ll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two” could be considered “rapey”. Now Williams says: “Some of my old songs, I would never write or sing today. I get embarrassed… It just took a lot of time and growth to get there.” Williams adds: “I realised that we live in a chauvinist culture… Didn’t realise that [some] of my songs catered to that. So that blew my mind.”

And there you have it, folks – behold the pop-cultural phenomenon of Delayed Woke. The generally male, conveniently belated mea culpa of sexism, which seems to say that you can behave as you like as long as you’re very apologetic at some unspecified point in the future.

No one is claiming that Blurred Lines was the first ever sexist song. Nor is it only Williams who is guilty of delayed wokery. Snoop Dogg said that he didn’t regret initially blasting women as “bitches” and “whores”, as he later grew to respect women, going on to view his early material as merely a marker for how far from misogyny he had come (so glad that womankind could help with your “journey”, Snoop!).

Elsewhere, after the comedian Louis CK was pilloried for masturbating in front of women, he “apologised” (ish) by incorporating his infamy into his act, perhaps proving that, for some, woke ends up permanently delayed.

Blurred Lines wasn't 'different' times. All this happened, not in yon olden pop days, but in 2013

Then there are Beastie Boys, who were slammed for misogyny around their first album, Licensed to Ill (women dancing on stage in cages and the like). However, not only were the Beasties very young, they listened to criticism, later apologising in a song (Sure Shot), and renouncing chauvinism. By contrast, Williams was already 40 when Blurred Lines was released. But hey, I suppose some artists need more “time and growth” than others.

Am I being too harsh on Williams? Possibly. At least he’s no longer defending Blurred Lines with such zingers as: “Is it sexually suggestive when a car salesman says to a person who is trying to buy a car, ‘I know you want it’?” (Yup, an actual quote from 2014.) However, this former music hack knows that releasing a pop song is a fairly lengthy process, with plenty of time for a seasoned professional to reflect that things had become “rapey”.

In short, I don’t entirely buy this “hallelujah – I’ve seen the chauvinist light!” routine that adult men belatedly come out with – after, say, they have banked all the global royalties and noted not only the #MeToo storm but also how admired artists such as John Legend are for their pro-feminist mindsets.

Let’s face it, Blurred Lines wasn’t “different times”. All this happened, not in yon olden pop days, but in 2013. It’s sweet that Williams finally, as he says, “got it”. Then again, Pharrell, what took you so long?

Writing a motto for anorexics is hardly holistic, Gwyneth

We have become accustomed to Gwyneth Paltrow’s wellness-quackery, via her Goop site. Many will recall her advice to steam your vagina – only expensively, mind, ladies; it wouldn’t be holistic just to throw your knickers off and crouch over a scalding, billowing kettle spout, DIY-style. However, groundbreaking as Paltrow has been over the years, she and Goop need to be careful that they don’t cross the line and become dangerous.

Goop recently published a Q&A about achieving one’s “leanest liveable weight”, angering and dismaying those who try to help people with eating disorders. In fairness, the person being interviewed, Traci Mann, a professor of psychology at the University of Minnesota, is against strict dieting and her argument directly relates to an individual’s “leanest liveable weight” – without extreme steps.

However, people with eating disorders wouldn’t look at it like that. For them, “leanest liveable weight” is likely to be misappropriated as an aspirational buzzphrase, similar to the infamous 2009 Kate Moss quote: “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” It’s the kind of thing that ends up on those ghastly Pro-Ana/Thinspiration sites. Anorexia is a potentially fatal mental health disorder and Goop has unwittingly pandered to it.

Anorexics don’t tend to tell each other: “Hey, let’s all get so emaciated that we collapse and die.” They say: “Here’s how to eat as little as possible, but still function.”

They tell each other lies, because they’re lying to themselves. And they’ll use whatever the beautiful Paltrow advocates to justify it. Goop is often good for a giggle, but there’s a big difference between risible lifestyle blather and irresponsibility.

We all ooh and aah, but isn’t everyone sick of fireworks now?

Bravo to Sainsbury’s for stopping selling fireworks, joining the Co-op, which stopped in 2014. Britons spend £20m a year on fireworks, but does anyone genuinely like them?

I’ve always disliked fireworks. They terrify animals. Idiots use them as weapons. They’re pollutants. Even when they’re used “correctly” they’re boring. Colours in the sky, whizzy sounds, loud bangs – is this really supposed to be entertaining? You guys are easily pleased. I used to stub out cigarettes with more drama.

Firework displays seem to continue for no other reason than that they’re traditional. The rationale appears to be that all big events, not just Bonfire Night, need marking with pointless firework displays. Cue crowds of people staring at the sky, insincerely muttering: “Gosh, what a spectacle, I’m changed forever”, after which everyone trails away, cold, unsatisfied and with cricked necks.

There’s a community spirit argument at this time of year, and I’d hate to be a bonfire grinch, so instead of fireworks why not have open-air film screenings or silent discos? There’s no reason why people need to stifle yawns, staring mindlessly at outmoded pyrotechnics. I’ve twirled a few sparklers in my time, but generally fireworks are an exploding anachronism.