May I have a word about… everyone going on a journey

https://www.theguardian.com/theobserver/commentisfree/2019/jul/28/may-i-have-a-word-about-everyone-going-journey

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I have just finished digesting a diverting newspaper supplement on the future of investing, which I’m led to believe is what people with pots of money do to pass the time. What I don’t now know about robo-advisory services simply isn’t worth knowing. I was struck, though, by what a couple of investment hot shots had to say. One suggests: “The evolution remains early in its journey”; while another states: “Thanks to the growing power of big data solutions, more customer data than ever can be analysed to extract actionable insights that enable banks to provide tailored and contextual advice to help coach them through their life and overall financial journey.”

Passing swiftly over “actionable insights” (piffle), journeys, why does everyone in every possible sector seem to be on one at the moment? It seems as if we have all become Marco Polos or Peter Flemings. Aren’t we just living our lives, planning for the future? We’re not all setting off on dramatic expeditions. So, my fine investment friends, less of the flimflam or my hard earned stays exactly where it is.

Now, I like a good medical condition as much the next one. Giggle micturition is still my favourite (not suffering from it, of course), but last week I was quite perturbed by another condition, “gin fatigue”. Are regular infusions of Dr Gordon’s enticing elixir causing more than normal bouts of lassitude? Was I, heaven forbid, in danger of spurning the stuff entirely?

Thank heavens, then, that I read on and found that tonic producer Fever-Trees’ profits haven’t been all that they might have been over the last year.

No need to panic then, it’s still safe to down the noble spirit. That surely calls for large ones all round.