‘The Real Debate Is Will They All Fit on a Stage? Dems a Lot of Folks’

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/27/opinion/debate-democrats-haiku-roast.html

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As pundits prepped to dissect the first debate of the 2020 election, Jason O. Gilbert, a comedy writer, poked fun at the pageant with a haiku roast of the Democratic candidates.

The Opinion staff offered a challenge to readers: “Think you can do better?” The result was a mix of haikus and other wordplay — most jabbing at the “gaggle” or “herd” of hopefuls (to quote a submission by our own Gail Collins), and a few gave them props:

The girls spoke in sense.

And the boys spoke in passion

And, I guess, Spanish. — xbrkd‏

Some readers were less enthusiastic about the entire exercise and expressed their frustration — in haiku form. A fitting and welcome response.

How America

Was lost: Smart people mocking

Trump alternatives. — Patrick

A selection of the wittier submissions from readers (in the staff’s humble opinion) is below.

Liberals’ problem:

How to tax everyone’s lives

while seeming pleasant. — Fred

The debates are on.

Watching, I say to myself

Who the hell is that? — Ryan Little

Many have entered.

Some leave after Iowa.

The rest get book deals. — Brendan Jordan

Six women on stage.

More than all in history.

Men will still talk more. — Julianne Hill‏

pete pete pete pete pete

pete pete pete pete pete pete pete

pete pete pete pete pete — Gen Z for Pete‏

Cory’s high drama

makes me cringe and look away.

He’s so annoying. — Ceeta10

Why not Warren, folks?

What’s not to like? Oh, I see:

Woman. Sincere. Smart. — Robert

Twenty-four standing

in an Iowa cornfield

in January. — RA

Heavens, I missed it!

Can’t imagine it helped much.

That’s why I’m in Spain. — JNR2

Tired of waiting.

It is time for a woman.

Beware of her wrath. — Kathy Lollock

Joe, how tenderly

you tease your tonsils when you

stick your foot in there. — Chris Mazzara

For the love of God,

if you’re not really running,

please exit stage left. — Patrick

We’re still looking for more haikus about the debates. Leave them in the comments, or post them on Twitter or Instagram with the hashtag #DebateHaikus. If you’re lucky, we’ll share them on NYTimes.com or on our social accounts.

Headline, courtesy JH, Philadelphia. Some haikus were lightly edited for clarity.

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