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Version 1 Version 2
Barcelona v Manchester United: Champions League quarter-final – live! Barcelona v Manchester United: Champions League quarter-final – live!
(32 minutes later)
67 min There’s stuff going on in the Premier League: Cardiff are 2-0 up away to Brighton, who are about to close the gap between the clubs to two points, a game in hand, and an easier run-in.
66 min Phil Jones has removed his bandage. Barca are in trouble now.
65 min Change for United: Dalot replaces Martial, who has done a lot of nothing once again.
64 min My word, there’s a long time to go in this game. Time is illmatic, keep static like wool fabric, as Nas once said. Anyway, Busquets lifts a ball into the box, Messi can;’t quite get at it, but it bounces down and he flips into an overhead that flies just past the far post.
64 min I’m pretty sure United would shake hands on 4-0 here. They should be so lucky.
You don’t even need me to describe this! Messi, under no pressure, clips a ball out to Jordi Alba who feeds back inside to Coutinho, 25 yards out, left of centre. He looks up, the unfurls a curler that he places past De Gea and into the roof of the net for another superb goal. And he celebrates with his fingers in his ears and such, but the thing is, everyone knows he can do that - the problem is what, if anything, else he does.
60 min “From your MBM,” tweets Sam Jones, “I get the distinct impression that Jones may need to find a darkened room in which to rock back and forth later tonight.”
He’s actually not had a terrible game, but what can you do? If I may namedrop, Kevin Pietersen once told me that when England were flayed by Sehwag and Tendulkar in that amazing Test, in the middle of being gutted he realised how lucky he was to be stood at mid off in such close proximity to such unbelievable brilliance. So there’s that.
57 min A long ball down the middle looks like it’s finding Rashford, but he can’t quite arrange his limbs, or there’s too much on it, and Barca break. Suarez finds Messi, gliding towards the United back four, and he opens his body to feed in Coutinho ... but Lindelof rips himself in half stretching to intercept.
55 min Talking of Martial, for how much longer should United persevere with him? He has lovely skill when running with the ball and is a decent finisher too, but likes to receive possession standing still, hardly ever runs in behind, and almost never gambles when a team-mate shoots, to get himself a tap-in. And the thing is, these aren’t difficult problems to solve, requiring will not skill. If he’s not sorted it by now, why will he sort it in the future?
54 min Young curls to the back post, but the ball is too high for Smalling, who can only head up into the air.
54 min Martial runs at Sergi Roberto, who doesn’t know which way to turn as his man weaves inside and outside, eventually glad to concede a corner.
53 min Messi flights his cross into De Gea’s arms.
52 min Jones was that kid who’d take deodorant on his arm til you worried it was gonna burn away. Again, he goes out to meet Messi, sees him go by, and eventually McTominay administers the foul, close to the right corner flag.
49 min In a way, United could use a hiding here - hear me out. The Glazers aren in the crowd, and could do with seeing just how far United are from contending for this trophy. There are other ways to close the gap beyond spending money - good coaching, clever tactics and promoting youth - but that’s not going to be enough. United need to buy two serious midfielders and a right-winger to contend domestically, and if they plan to take on the best, they need a centre-back as well.
48 min Lovely from Barca, Coutinho to Alba, who could pick out Suarez in the middle but instead cuts back for Messi; he opens his body to try a left-footed curler ... De Gea has it covered, but Young extends a leg to deflect behind. The corner comes to nowt.
47 min When Barca went 3-1 up in the 2011 final, with 21 minutes still to go, Rooney asked their players to take it easy. I wonder if anyone fancies doing likewise tonight.
46 min Off we go again...
Right then, the players are back...
“Just seen the first goal,” tweets Gary Naylor. “Fred has to obstruct him and take the yellow once Messi is on his left foot 30 yards from goal doesn’t he? It’s what Fernandinho would have done.”
In retrospect, he has to do anything he can, but it happened so quickly that I’m not sure he could’ve done given his body position. Fernandinho has the muscle memory, so is a different case.
Half-time email: “All is not lost for United,” reckons Charles Antaki. “They have a secret agent in the Barcelona side, i.e. Philippe Coutinho, who is doing exceptionally well at contributing virtually nothing, and giving the ball away in a charitable manner. Apparently he’s looking for a new club in the summer.”
I think Barca said yesterday that he’s definitely staying, but I’m not altogether surprised that he’s struggling. First of all, he’s not a winger - least of all in a side who like to stretch the pitch - and he’s a player who can win you a game but won’t really help you control it. if he’s not sticking in brilliant finishes from around the edge of the box, he’s not generally doing that much.
I’ve no idea how United approach the second half. Trying to keep the score down isn’t good for business, especially if it doesn’t work out, but trying to fight back is asking for trouble. Exciting!I’ve no idea how United approach the second half. Trying to keep the score down isn’t good for business, especially if it doesn’t work out, but trying to fight back is asking for trouble. Exciting!
United gave it a brave go in the early stages and has Rashford scored not hit the bar, who knows. Ok, we all do - Barca have Messi, and in the context of this tie - in the context of most ties - that’s enough.United gave it a brave go in the early stages and has Rashford scored not hit the bar, who knows. Ok, we all do - Barca have Messi, and in the context of this tie - in the context of most ties - that’s enough.
45+1 min Messimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessi! He comes short and as the ball’s played into him, he feints left then turns right, diddling Jones, before megging him for the lols and zoning forward to find Jordi Alba on his outside. The ensuing cross is a beauty, low and hard for Sergi Roberto at the back post, and he slides in to shoot, but somehow De Gea, making up ground from the other side of his goal, dives to keep it out. That was glorious from all concerned.45+1 min Messimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessi! He comes short and as the ball’s played into him, he feints left then turns right, diddling Jones, before megging him for the lols and zoning forward to find Jordi Alba on his outside. The ensuing cross is a beauty, low and hard for Sergi Roberto at the back post, and he slides in to shoot, but somehow De Gea, making up ground from the other side of his goal, dives to keep it out. That was glorious from all concerned.
45 +1 min There’ll be two added minutes, both of them consumed by Barcelona toying with United and ball.45 +1 min There’ll be two added minutes, both of them consumed by Barcelona toying with United and ball.
45 min “United’s light rose away shirt looks like watered-down Palermo to me,” reckons Peter Oh. “Anyway, about the scoreline. Barça are sitting pretty now, ain’t they?”45 min “United’s light rose away shirt looks like watered-down Palermo to me,” reckons Peter Oh. “Anyway, about the scoreline. Barça are sitting pretty now, ain’t they?”
The kit looks like when Tracy in Jossy’s Giants washed their white away kit with her hockey bibs.The kit looks like when Tracy in Jossy’s Giants washed their white away kit with her hockey bibs.
44 min Rashford smashes into the wall. And before you ask me for predictions of equivalent soothsaying, tomorrow is Wednesday.44 min Rashford smashes into the wall. And before you ask me for predictions of equivalent soothsaying, tomorrow is Wednesday.
43 min Pogba scythes through midfield and Rakitic slides him down; free-kick United, 25 yards out, just left of the D. Rashford looks like he’s having it, so presumably will smash into the wall..43 min Pogba scythes through midfield and Rakitic slides him down; free-kick United, 25 yards out, just left of the D. Rashford looks like he’s having it, so presumably will smash into the wall..
41 min Barca win a free-kick down the right 30 yards from goal, and Messi picks out Rakitic at the near post, running from out to in; no one bothers to go with him, but he can only guide a header straight at De Gea. That’s a spectacular save, by the standard.41 min Barca win a free-kick down the right 30 yards from goal, and Messi picks out Rakitic at the near post, running from out to in; no one bothers to go with him, but he can only guide a header straight at De Gea. That’s a spectacular save, by the standard.
41 min “You say Messi is better on grass,” tweets Michael Hann, “but to paraphrase a now-disgraced American athlete, has he ever smoked AstroTurf?”41 min “You say Messi is better on grass,” tweets Michael Hann, “but to paraphrase a now-disgraced American athlete, has he ever smoked AstroTurf?”
I think he’s more a 3G man, man.I think he’s more a 3G man, man.
40 min Slightly better from United, Rashford finding space down the left after a few consecutive passes and nicking away from Rakitic to drive a low cross, but Lenglet is there to clear.40 min Slightly better from United, Rashford finding space down the left after a few consecutive passes and nicking away from Rakitic to drive a low cross, but Lenglet is there to clear.
38 min United’s first attack in sometime and Pogba, who seems to lost his goals from range in the elan black-hole that is post-Fergie United, dribbles an effort straight at Ter Stegen.38 min United’s first attack in sometime and Pogba, who seems to lost his goals from range in the elan black-hole that is post-Fergie United, dribbles an effort straight at Ter Stegen.
37 min There’s a tie brewing in Turin! Van de Beek has equalised for Ajax, who now need to score once to force Juve to score twice!37 min There’s a tie brewing in Turin! Van de Beek has equalised for Ajax, who now need to score once to force Juve to score twice!
36 min Pogba tries to force the issue, close to halfway but inside his own half, and takes a succession of hacks at Arthur. Gosh, he really showed everyone.36 min Pogba tries to force the issue, close to halfway but inside his own half, and takes a succession of hacks at Arthur. Gosh, he really showed everyone.
35 min Messi fancies a shot - he wants to put De Gea under pressure again, I shouldn’t wonder - and who’s about to argue with him? But he wafts over the bar, and United try to do something, anything.35 min Messi fancies a shot - he wants to put De Gea under pressure again, I shouldn’t wonder - and who’s about to argue with him? But he wafts over the bar, and United try to do something, anything.
34 min Barca are enjoying this, popping the ball about as United struggle to stop them. Fred pulls Rakitic back, then catches the back of his heel, and Barca have a free-kick about 40 yards out, dead centre.34 min Barca are enjoying this, popping the ball about as United struggle to stop them. Fred pulls Rakitic back, then catches the back of his heel, and Barca have a free-kick about 40 yards out, dead centre.
33 min United have not had decent possession for quite sometime. While we wait for Barca to score again, what on earth is wrong with David de Gea? His kicking has gone, he’s never dominated his box less, and he’s making more errors than once. His reactions are still immense, but this has not been a good season for him.33 min United have not had decent possession for quite sometime. While we wait for Barca to score again, what on earth is wrong with David de Gea? His kicking has gone, he’s never dominated his box less, and he’s making more errors than once. His reactions are still immense, but this has not been a good season for him.
31 min Another one to crtl c, ctrl v: Ronaldo has scored for Juventus against Ajax, putting them 2-1 up on aggregate. His record in the knockout stages of this competition is absolutely obscene - though Messi is obviously better on grass, you can make a strong case that he is better on paper.31 min Another one to crtl c, ctrl v: Ronaldo has scored for Juventus against Ajax, putting them 2-1 up on aggregate. His record in the knockout stages of this competition is absolutely obscene - though Messi is obviously better on grass, you can make a strong case that he is better on paper.
Juventus v Ajax: Champions League quarter-final – live!Juventus v Ajax: Champions League quarter-final – live!
30 min It’s been bothering me, who Messi reminds me of. Not anymore.30 min It’s been bothering me, who Messi reminds me of. Not anymore.
28 min A quiet period, which is the respite United needed.28 min A quiet period, which is the respite United needed.
26 min Jordi Alba has started the game brilliantly, and Lindelof is struggling to handle him and Coutinho with no help. He breaks down the left again and finds Rakitic, who clips into the box; Messi is first to the ball and nicks it away in a trice before panelling a shot over the bar.26 min Jordi Alba has started the game brilliantly, and Lindelof is struggling to handle him and Coutinho with no help. He breaks down the left again and finds Rakitic, who clips into the box; Messi is first to the ball and nicks it away in a trice before panelling a shot over the bar.
24 min Barca are playing a back three now, with Busquets between Lenglet and Pique - at least when United have the ball. Which isn’t that often, at the moment.24 min Barca are playing a back three now, with Busquets between Lenglet and Pique - at least when United have the ball. Which isn’t that often, at the moment.
23 min “The most remarkable thing about Larsson’s spellat Man United,” emails Simon McMahon, is that it was IN 2007!!! Time really does speed up the older you get. Soon I’ll be eating breakfast every five minutes.”23 min “The most remarkable thing about Larsson’s spellat Man United,” emails Simon McMahon, is that it was IN 2007!!! Time really does speed up the older you get. Soon I’ll be eating breakfast every five minutes.”
This sounds like an excellent ruse, and well worth wearing a suit to go to the newsagent.This sounds like an excellent ruse, and well worth wearing a suit to go to the newsagent.
22 min “The ‘Walking’ in ‘Walking to Glory’ sounds like a schoolchild’s go at translating ‘Caminando’,” advises Charles Antaki, “but to be fair, caminar can mean to walk, but also, presumably more appropriately, moving or, better marching. Here endeth the evening class Spanish lesson, misremembered from a very long time ago.”22 min “The ‘Walking’ in ‘Walking to Glory’ sounds like a schoolchild’s go at translating ‘Caminando’,” advises Charles Antaki, “but to be fair, caminar can mean to walk, but also, presumably more appropriately, moving or, better marching. Here endeth the evening class Spanish lesson, misremembered from a very long time ago.”
Er, I think this one might just be over. McTominay and Fred do well to unload Coutinho, but the ball breaks for Messi, who eyes up Jones and quickly swerves away, as you would, before hitting a pretty tame right-footer over which De Gea somehow dives, allowing it to squirm under him and in. This could get, er, messy.Er, I think this one might just be over. McTominay and Fred do well to unload Coutinho, but the ball breaks for Messi, who eyes up Jones and quickly swerves away, as you would, before hitting a pretty tame right-footer over which De Gea somehow dives, allowing it to squirm under him and in. This could get, er, messy.
18 min United now need to score twice, as they were always going to have to. The problem is that they’ve not finished conceding.18 min United now need to score twice, as they were always going to have to. The problem is that they’ve not finished conceding.
He is so, so, so, so, so good. Deep inside his own half and close to the touchline, Young loses the ball as Messi pounces and he megs Fred, of course he does, then Jones sells himself and suddenly he’s central and with a clear sight of goal. Naturally, he measures a perfect, low, curling finish into the far corner for a perfectly routine piece of association football by his ludicrous standard.He is so, so, so, so, so good. Deep inside his own half and close to the touchline, Young loses the ball as Messi pounces and he megs Fred, of course he does, then Jones sells himself and suddenly he’s central and with a clear sight of goal. Naturally, he measures a perfect, low, curling finish into the far corner for a perfectly routine piece of association football by his ludicrous standard.
15 min Alba goes down the left and swings over a fine cross; Suarez is just adjusting his position at the back post to cushion home the opener and race off celebrating, parading his magnificence in front of all his friends, when Jones pokes out a head to send the ball away. Excellent de-fence.15 min Alba goes down the left and swings over a fine cross; Suarez is just adjusting his position at the back post to cushion home the opener and race off celebrating, parading his magnificence in front of all his friends, when Jones pokes out a head to send the ball away. Excellent de-fence.
14 min United are in this game, Rashford screeching at Pique and making an angle for a shot, only to slip in the process of applying it. Ter Stegem saves easily, but United are finding space without much difficulty here.14 min United are in this game, Rashford screeching at Pique and making an angle for a shot, only to slip in the process of applying it. Ter Stegem saves easily, but United are finding space without much difficulty here.
12 min We restart with a drop-ball in the United box - I’ not sure how Rakitic has got away with that - and it goes behind for a goalkick.12 min We restart with a drop-ball in the United box - I’ not sure how Rakitic has got away with that - and it goes behind for a goalkick.
The ref goes to look at the screen, sees what happened, and reverses his decision.The ref goes to look at the screen, sees what happened, and reverses his decision.
Given for Fred’s foul on Rakitic, but that’s never one “for me”. Fred gets in front of his man, stands his ground and moves the ball away, as Rakitic vaults over him. I think we’ll see this overturned, which is funny because the ref was so pleased with himself when he awarded it, contemptuously shaking his head when the United players appealed.Given for Fred’s foul on Rakitic, but that’s never one “for me”. Fred gets in front of his man, stands his ground and moves the ball away, as Rakitic vaults over him. I think we’ll see this overturned, which is funny because the ref was so pleased with himself when he awarded it, contemptuously shaking his head when the United players appealed.
10 min In defence, United’s first line has Lingard in the middle and Rashford on the right. But the pattern of things has changed slightly, Barca pushing and United looking to break; Pogba has to clear another corner, and...10 min In defence, United’s first line has Lingard in the middle and Rashford on the right. But the pattern of things has changed slightly, Barca pushing and United looking to break; Pogba has to clear another corner, and...
8 min Alba makes his first foray forward and wins a corner off Jones. United get it away and Sergi Roberto crosses from the right, but Smalling is up to chuck a go-go gadget neck which gets rid well.8 min Alba makes his first foray forward and wins a corner off Jones. United get it away and Sergi Roberto crosses from the right, but Smalling is up to chuck a go-go gadget neck which gets rid well.
7 min “Missed all the build up,” emails Matt Dony, “just caught the first couple of minutes. Barcelona are in pink, yeah?”7 min “Missed all the build up,” emails Matt Dony, “just caught the first couple of minutes. Barcelona are in pink, yeah?”
This really is very strange. United are pushing the pace, and not only that, but playing with some quality.This really is very strange. United are pushing the pace, and not only that, but playing with some quality.
6 min Martial and Lingard link, the latter scurrying into the box after a bouncing ball, and forcing three defenders to hack about til one of them sees it away. And back come United!6 min Martial and Lingard link, the latter scurrying into the box after a bouncing ball, and forcing three defenders to hack about til one of them sees it away. And back come United!
5 min “ALDI’s interesting new beer is a hitherto unsuspected 6.8%,” says Geoff Wignall, “and I’ve been up since 5:00a.m; wanna fight? (He says from the safety of central Portugal).”5 min “ALDI’s interesting new beer is a hitherto unsuspected 6.8%,” says Geoff Wignall, “and I’ve been up since 5:00a.m; wanna fight? (He says from the safety of central Portugal).”
Hold me back, hold me back.Hold me back, hold me back.
4 min ... Young hits the first man, ctrl c, ctrl v.4 min ... Young hits the first man, ctrl c, ctrl v.
4 min This is a fine start from United, and Rashford wins a corner down the right...4 min This is a fine start from United, and Rashford wins a corner down the right...
3 min United come again, and this time McTominay breaks through the middle, but can’t quite control the pass from Lingard.3 min United come again, and this time McTominay breaks through the middle, but can’t quite control the pass from Lingard.