Your Hopes for 2019

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/02/opinion/2019-hopes.html

Version 0 of 1.

How do you define hope — a state of mind, a plan for action? Or simply the act of being grateful?

We asked readers to define what hope means to them, and to share their dreams and aspirations for 2019. Many wrote of the mending of political and social divides, some the mending of their own families. There were longings for deeper love and declarations to do good. A few lamented that they saw no hope in sight, for their communities or for themselves.

But for Jacqueline Haley, a reader from Weymouth, Mass., hope is being able to dwell in the present. “Having advanced stage recurrent cancer is indeed my gift,” she wrote. “Never has the world looked so perfectly designed or more capable of righting itself, despite the human folly that interrupts and disrupts. My hope for 2019 is that myself and everyone else can relish simply being here now.”

More responses from our readers are below, edited for clarity and length.

My deeply personal hope is for the ability to act out of love, even in very trying and triggering times. To find that golden, shiny space in a personal relationship and to live there long enough to feel the heart crack open and experience transcendent freedom and a whole new, deeper way of seeing the other person. My universal hope is that we are all struck by such awareness. What a world that would be! — Dawn Montanye, Ithaca, N.Y.

I have been married to a man for almost 40 years. He’s a good man, but he’s not my soul mate. I have wanted to leave him several times. I never did, for the usual reasons: kids, economics, laziness, fear of the unknown. We went on, the kids grew up, and we just settled in. About six years ago, he was diagnosed with dementia. In October 2018, he was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. I thought I knew everything about this man but he has surprised me and, moreover, given me a lesson in love. He used to be full of anxieties and anger. Now he has distilled himself down to pure love. It’s who he is and how his days go. He tells us how much he loves us, he tells people he’s supposed to know but has forgotten how much he loves them. It’s not just words, it’s action; in his eyes, his face, his gestures. He lights up at your presence; he kisses your hand; he tells you how wonderful you look. He dispenses love from a bottomless well. There is no filter, no bargaining for affection. And I stand here, in awe. — Mary Carroll, Copake, N.Y.

We lost our 6-year old daughter, Nina, to cancer last year. She was funny, bright, and the kindest soul I have ever known. My own life has seemed to stretch out endlessly and pointlessly in front of me while my radiant child lies buried in the ground. To give our 12-year old son a buddy, my husband and I agreed to bring home a puppy in the new year, a ridiculously fluffy, boisterous little Havanese. And suddenly we find that we are all breathing a little easier, smiling at the thought of this energetic new life entering ours. The tiniest flicker of hope is here again. — Usha Rao, Philadelphia

I had been serving as a Peace Corps volunteer in Uganda through a program that was attached to the Corps. Funding for the program was cut when the Trump administration took over. I am 73 and I know that for three years I made a profound difference. I want to return to my students there in the midwifery program. The work has just begun. — Cherie Clark, Broomfield, Colo.

My hope for 2019 is that all U.S. citizens will have fair and affordable access to health care services. I worked as an R.N. case manager for years, both on the insurance side and hospital side. Maybe people don’t realize the burdens of pre-existing conditions, health care services caps or young people not being able to get insurance. I hope for legislators who see the need to take care of their citizens, and that this country will have the stamina, concern and willpower to provide health care to all. — Georgia Stapleton, Shawano, Wis.

My hope for 2019 is a return to the bad weather of the good old days, when California was wetter, Texas was dryer and hurricanes were just destructive, not biblical. My hope is that “sky rivers” revert to rainstorms that simply ruined graduations and picnics, and that snowstorms become a reason to drink hot chocolate under warm blankets again. Bad weather used to be an inconvenience that gave us welcome pauses from routine and bloated schedules. Nature is now a raging, unrelenting, unpredictable force, unsettling and sometimes downright scary. We are at its mercy and there is no help coming. — John White, Newport News, Va.

I’m hopeful that my son and my daughter, both in their 20s, can be kind to each other again. They’re struggling to understand and adapt to the shifting dynamics of relationships between men and women in this #MeToo moment. They’re taking their frustrations out on each other and it’s hard for a mother to endure. — Pauline Andersen, Minneapolis

I hope that we prioritize research for pediatric cancer in 2019. My daughter’s treatment used highly toxic chemotherapy with 30-year-old drugs. The side effects were horrific. The money floated for the wall could be a game changer for kids with cancer. — Debra Jacobs, Ashland, Va.

My hope is to find more inner peace and stop relying on a world in chaos to deliver it to me. — K Lachenman, Denver

I hope that some miracle occurs and my job starts paying a living wage or that my co-workers see the value of joining a union, leading to better wages for all of us. — Karen, Ohio

Hope means family. I hope that in 2019 it will be easier to get a tourist visa to the U.S. I am here as an asylum applicant waiting for my papers and I have not seen my parents for years. Their visas have been rejected more than once since Trump became president. — Ecaterina Trohin, Boston

Hope is being given a fair chance to be and do what makes you happy. We all have obstacles but some are so institutionalized that many have no hope. I am a 71-year-old white man who has never experienced discrimination. I have always been at the front of line, not because of my abilities but because of the color of my skin. I know this will not be solved in 2019 but I hope we can make some reasonable progress. Is that too much to hope for? — Vincent Dailey, Wilton, Conn.

As a dreamer who thought I could manifest anything with good intentions and hard work, 2018 was soul crushing for me. After a broken heart and the cruel machinations of divorce, I crawled on my emotional knees into a courtroom to defend my ability to keep my children and my home. As the judge granted me grace, I shook, cried and choked on my words of thanks. Hope in 2019 is still too abstract for my bruised heart, but I find that giving to others fills my empty cup. I can do for others what I cannot manifest for myself. And in my acts, their happiness and hope is reflected back to me, by proxy. — Cynthia Cole, Saratoga, Calif.

Let 2019 be the year we break free from our phones. I don’t want to see parents scrolling through social media feeds at the playground while their little children shout desperately, “Look at me!” — Leslie DuPree, Davenport, Iowa

I hope Ruth Bader Ginsburg has the endurance and longevity of a tardigrade vampire. — Gary Taustine, Manhattan

Yes, of course I want a pennant. I’m a Yankee fan, I ALWAYS want a pennant. I want a Stanley Cup, I’m an Islander fan and it’s been too long. I hope and pray for health and happiness for my children.

However, more than anything I hope to see change in government operations. I am so worn down and filled with rage at the current administration. I want to know that the one occupying the Oval Office shares my reverence for what it represents rather than make a global mockery of it. So hope to me for 2019 means a recommitment to feeling that positive change in government is possible, specifically that the path forward is proper, respectful and legal, and that we can once again be the nation the world turns to for inspiration, assistance and hope. — David Leicht, Long Island, N.Y.

I hope that we citizens of the United States remain engaged in the political process and begin real discussions about race, health care, climate change, wealth distribution and our role in the world. We are at a crossroads, testing once again whether government of the people, by the people and for the people can long endure. I hope we pass the test. — David Keller MD, Denver

I hope that 2019 is the year we stop blaming and name-calling and start connecting. I want 2019 to be the year we stop “talking politics” and start talking to each other. I hope that instead of talking about impeachment and the 2020 Democratic nominee, we can refocus on how communities can work together to change their own lives. Yes, policy is important, but policy will not save us from loneliness and depression. It cannot save us soon enough from climate change or inequality. If we want the world we live in to be different, we each have to take responsibility for changing it. I want this to be the year we stop looking to our elected officials as the next great hope and start looking for our allies among our neighbors instead. — Alicia Bonner Ness, Brooklyn, N.Y.

I hope that the global trend toward strong men and bullying dictators as an easy solution to complex problems (is this partly a reaction to women’s momentum?) begins to wane, starting with Trump deposed or leaving under his own steam. It’s the example we can show to the world. — Sandra Neily, Greenville, Me.

That President Trump resigns from office in a way that avoids him becoming a martyr to the right wing. I know, I know, I’m an inveterate optimist. — Roger Clayton, Schenectady, N.Y.

Hope is an ideal that a situation will get better if an individual works to make a positive change in their circumstances. You can see it in the protests against Trump’s election and the Muslim ban, against the defunding of Planned Parenthood and the appointment of Justice Kavanaugh, and in the historic Women’s March. The citizens of this country are rising up to say that we have had enough.

In a political sense, hope is that some of the abuses of power that have been constant over the past two years will be challenged and that a system of checks and balances will be restored. In 2019, hope may well become something real and Americans will be able to aspire to different ideals and dreams, replacing some of the fear and hatred that has been so rampant. I cling to this scenario because it is imperative that our government works for all of the citizens of this country. — Kathleen Kockritz, Dallas

Hope means optimism for the future. Not money or things, just the belief that life has a forward positive momentum in the things that matter. My hope for 2019 is that my wife, battling a very serious health issue, has a good year. I will hope to have the same wish in 2020 and beyond. — Jordan Schweon, New York

Follow The New York Times Opinion section on Facebook, Twitter (@NYTopinion) and Instagram.