Twelve Books for Feminist Boys and Girls

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/19/upshot/twelve-books-for-feminist-boys-and-girls.html

Version 0 of 1.

Most Americans say they believe in the full equality of men and women — the most straightforward definition of feminism — and that they want to raise children that way.

But researchers say children absorb stereotypes, including about gender roles, by age 3. To teach children to think in a more equal way takes effort, and children’s books are a way in. They have the power to teach values and to expand children’s sense of what’s possible. When children read books that break gender stereotypes, research has found, they reach for less stereotypical toys and broaden their future goals.

Based on the latest social science about gender, we made a list of 12 books published in the last three years that help teach children gender equality, in time for the holiday gift-giving season. There is an abundance to choose from — in recent years, publishers have broken with tradition and offered more children’s books about powerful girls and sensitive boys, as well as children of color and from diverse backgrounds. We asked for help from the people at Powell’s Books in Portland, Ore., and at Little Feminist, a subscription book club for children.

Here are 12 offerings, from board books to middle-grade novels, for the next generation of feminist boys and girls:

Children learn society’s gender stereotypes by the time they start preschool. This board book challenges stereotypes early with rhymes and drawings that address grown-up issues like equal pay, consent and domestic labor with toddler-level directness. Despite the title, it’s not just for boys. And despite the fact that the word “feminism” can be controversial, this book uses the simplest definition: the equality of the genders. For example, boys do fewer chores than girls and are discouraged more than girls from doing gender atypical activities. This book encourages boys to help around the house, and tells them, “If you learn to work hard, you can do something cool — fight fires, bake cakes, fly a spaceship, teach school.”

In a recent Pew Research Center survey, the majority of adults said there was too little emphasis on encouraging boys to talk about their feelings when they were sad or upset (as opposed to showing anger instead), and too little emphasis on encouraging girls to stand up for themselves. Experts say everyone would benefit from a bigger emotional vocabulary. This book offers 26 feelings, one for each letter of the alphabet: “invisible,” “light,” “nervous,” “quiet,” “relaxed.”

Girls today feel increasing freedom to be whatever they want to be, but boys still feel like their options are limited to being tough, athletic and stoic, according to a recent survey of American children. This book is an ode to the creative boys who love beautiful things. When Julián is riding the subway with his abuela, he sees three women fabulously dressed as mermaids, and he tells her he is one, too. When they arrive home, he transforms himself, with lipstick, a tail made of curtains and a headdress made of fern fronds, and his grandmother models unconditional acceptance.

From a young age, children naturally favor people who look and act like them — experiments have found that they even prefer children wearing the same color T-shirt as they are. Accepting differences among us is a life skill in a diverse society, and this book, by a transgender woman, is a way to start those conversations. Miu Lan is a child who can change into any shape imaginable, but can’t decide which to be — a bird or a fish, a tree or a star, a boy or a girl.

The effect of female role models is strong in areas like science and math, where girls are less likely to see them. Research has shown that having just one female STEM teacher, for instance, can influence a girl to pursue a science degree and career. This book, based on the life of Mae Jemison, the first African-American woman to travel to space, is about pushing back against sexism and racism and about the value of hard work. That’s an important message for boys, too — they have fallen behind girls in achievement in part because they often receive the message that working hard is uncool.

Many parents try to avoid talking about stereotypes, hoping that if they show their children examples of equality between men and women, children will believe in it. But research has shown that instead, it’s essential to explicitly call out stereotypes and explain why they’re problematic. This book offers the chance to do so. Eugenie Clark was determined to become an ichthyologist — no matter the people who told her to be a secretary or a housewife. (And like the previous book about outer space, it takes a topic, sharks, that many children’s products aim at boys and instead tells a story for everyone.)

One of the ways in which men and women remain most unequal is that women still do more child care and household chores. It holds them back professionally, and it models inequality for children. Books like this one that show involved fathers help combat that. While Franny’s mother goes to her “important job,” her father handles the home front, becoming an expert hair braider and breaking down boundaries for Franny too — teaching her to change a tire and cheering at her ballet recitals.

In the Pew survey, a majority of people said boys and girls should be steered toward activities and toys not typically associated with their gender. Yet children’s products are more segregated than they were 50 years ago. Everyone in this book is defying gender norms. Teddy’s favorite toy is Bren-Da, Warrior Queen of Pacifica, a pink-clad doll. Bren-Da has the “sickest fighting skills,” and when she ends up in a garbage truck, Teddy’s mother saves the day. But the story is told without making a big deal of gender — experts say that stories of children doing ordinary things, whom readers can relate to, are some of the most powerful in showing them what’s possible.

Researchers say the reason that girls are encouraged to play soccer but boys aren’t encouraged to take ballet, and women are encouraged to become doctors but men are stigmatized for becoming nurses, is that “feminine” equals lower status. This book celebrates women and girls who made an impact throughout history, famous and less so — including Malala Yousafzai, Maya Lin and Ruby Bridges (the first African-American child to integrate an all-white American school.) Each story is told in a poem, illustrated by a different female artist.

Boys are particularly sensitive to the effects of having strong male role models, research has shown. Yet many of the teachers and caregivers in their lives are women, and boys say they feel pressure to be a certain kind of man: physically strong and athletic. This collection of 76 short biographies and illustrations shows role models that expand the definition of masculinity. It includes men who were artistic, innovative or introverted, as varied as Bill Gates, Ai Weiwei and Frank Ocean.

Middle school is a time when messages about gender are strongest — and books for this age group also tend to be highly gendered. Girls say they feel pressure to be physically attractive. Boys feel pressure to be hypermasculine — and social scientists have found that boys who aren’t are called feminine or gay. This novel for children age 8 and up deals with several of these themes, including masculinity, adolescence and gay marriage. Archer Magill has been collecting male role models, and he finds a new one in the first male teacher in his school. Then he finds out that two of them are in love with one another. Plus, Archer has a female best friend — research has shown that children with opposite-sex friendships have fewer gender stereotypes and better problem-solving skills and communication.

In a continuing international study of adolescents, scientists have found that worldwide, they’re discouraged from straying from traditional gender roles. Aster, the main character of this graphic novel for ages 8 and up, is one of those people. Where he lives, boys grow up to be shape-shifters and girls grow up to be witches. But he wants to learn witchery. So he practices in secret, with the help of a girl from outside the community, Charlie, who defies norms in her own way. It reaches children at an age when they are trying to figure out which box they fit in — and shows them that no one has to be confined to a single box.